Termyn8or
Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline
|
Been there done that. Now that I got a fresh start on this post I'll put it a different way. The Godz said it best "There's money junkies, booze junkies, sex junkies, dope junkies". And there's one thing that they don't understand.
Hard to find truer words. Like Charlie Manson he had his moments.
Every addict, I don't care if it is hard drugs, excessive alcohol or weed even, there is one thing in common. It is an escape for them. I turned down some free lines of coke last weekend, the guy's jaw was just about on the floor.
I hit rock bottom a couple of decades ago, and I am not going back, not that I will never do coke, I just didn't want it at the time.
I believe I can say that I no longer abuse drugs, but that is not to say I never use them. This is what addicts need to understand. There is something wrong and they want to hide from it. They are hiding from deep personal problems, and if they always want to get completely out of it, it is our job, as people without this problem to see if maybe we can find the key. Finding the original problem is crucial.
Even in the absence of an abusive childhood or some other trauma they can get addicted, but what caused that weakness ? What makes them want to destroy themselves ? Occasional light drug use is not a big problem. It is like a nice little vacation. What I do after work clears my mind and refreshes me to go face the same problems, it was just a break and any realist knows hanging around getting high solves nothing. You walk back into your life and it is all the same. The problem of an addict is that he does not want to ever walk back into his life, he wants the party to never end, and as such, the real problem is never dealt with.
Drugs have a very powerful allure, they make everything alright. If the user is not ready to face the fact that life will be the same or maybe even worse when they come down, they do not want to come down.
I have been there and I know. I have also hit rock bottom and I AM NOT going back. I know now. Intoxicants are a release, but only temporary. You simply can't do it all the time. Addicts need to be made to understand this.
I have spent days on end getting high, but I don't anymore. First of all I don't really want to get out of it, I want to be in possesion of my faculties. I also do not spend the bill money.
I know all kinds of people relative and in different positions relative to this subject. What some of them do for their addiction is scary in a way, because that could be me, many years ago. I mean people go to prison for twenty years just for trying to get money for their drug. This is ridiculous to me.
I will NEVER EVER let any substance, place, person or thing that kind of control over me. Once an addict even gets that attitude, I mean for real, he can then do a couple of lines on a Friday night, or burn one, or have a few beers. As long as he is determined to stay in control. And succeeds. When it is time to stop and go to bed, stop and go to bed. That's it.
I like having my credit cards work and my car to not only run, but have gas in it (a bigger issue than meets the eye these days). I like having electricity and gas and DSL. I like having those luxuries and therefore to maintain them I must use this little known mental tool call "self control". When I turned down those lines of coke the other day, I did so because I know how it is. It was not time. Really, last time was in January I think and the dude actually said "In about June next time". So what, I passed anyway.
I think the main point I need to make is that addiction is a symptom. Only when I learned and grew to understand myself better did the addiction stop. And I believe it is the same with others. WHY EXACTLY do you need to escape from your reality, what is it you can't stand ?
Find that out and fix it, there will be no addiction anymore. I am pretty sure of that. I have slain my monsters, beaten them. I am not saying this is easy, but this is where you need good friends with a mind, to whom you'll tell things you'd never tell a therapist. Your addiction started long ago, long before you ever found the drug, and if you would have found a different one first that would be your problem instead of what is.
I can do a hell of an intervention, but one thing must be true. If we got a crackhead, we give him a beer, that might ease things a bit, our aim is not to punish. But when they want to 'go out for a walk' the answer is NO, with me standing at the door. I mean "If you walk out this door now, you better take a good look around, because you are NEVER getting back in". And that has to stick.
See the drug use is only a symptom. I know people who are addicted to sugar, salt, blondes, even I must confess to an addiction to blue Buicks. But those are not seen the same, even though they are, except the blue Buick thing, really the guy had it for sale, it's not like i went to the ends of the Earth to get it. But it is all the same, like in Gotta keep a runnin', there's money junkies, sex junkies............and so forth.
Some people are addicted to food, eating is like a religious experience for them. But you have to eat. When addiction takes that course it is by far the hardest to deal with, because the addict really cannot stop, the self control is then essential. Drugs are alot easier, even herion is easier to break than food, because you can't quit food. You get teased EVERY DAY, as long as you let it affect you that way.
The real change comes from inside.
The people afflicted with addiction do not know how to help themselves, it is up to their friends and family to help them. Not a therapist, or some institution, REAL people to them. People who can make REAL threats to them, but those threats always involve banishment, they can go any time they want, but if they do..................
It is the only way. It is also important to know that you CANNOT change them, they must change themselves. You might not approve of the exact direction they take, but you only require that they observe the norms of society, because if they had all along there would be no problem in the first place.
There is alot more to this, but real help is out there. It is hard to find. Recidivism in addictions is at an all time high because the root causes are not addressed.
If you or someone you know is addicted, I am willing to help. I can find a slice of my time for Cmail, Email, the phone or whatever if someone is articulate and wants to open up. I think I can help, even though I got none when I went through it. It took for me to lose everything I own three times and get shot in the face with a .38 to grow up, and I don't want to see others have to go through all that.
Maybe they have to, but I think it might be worth a try.
T
|
RE: Sunday Morning Stories: Dealing with addicts - 
Profile
. 
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread