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ORIGINAL: MissyRane

So I started thinking about this, I couldn't find anything about it when I searched so bear with me..

I consider myself a submissive.
Despite of that I hate begging/asking whether I may or may not do/get stuff. (no I'm not the most submissive person on earth but still..)

It's easier for me to ask/beg for things I want/need but lets put it this way: I don't really fancy it.
On the other hand asking/begging whether I can or can't DO something is just a big nono for me.

Asking I can deal with but begging is one of the most difficult things I do. I don't really know how to nor do I like it lol

Am I alone here???? Somehow I feel submissives should like asking...heh - I'm not necessarily talking about asking about everything I'm just talking about occasionally..

I know not all submissives like to beg but I'm kinda wondering about the asking&permissions

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ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy

For me, asking my Master for permission is very natural.  i don't even think about it.  i just do it.  But, that is just the way O/our relationship is and always has been.  i like asking Him for permission and i like knowing that He has the power to say "Yes" or "No" or anything else He decides.  i like knowing that He is the decision maker in my life.
 
What i really love, however, is begging, groveling, falling at my Master's feet and wrapping my arms around His legs as i lay prostrate, sometimes not saying anything for awhile, sometimes looking up at His face and begging with my eyes, sometimes saying nothing more than "Please, Master".  Sometimes He will just look down at me and not say anything.  He will wait awhile before asking me what it is that i am begging for.  i love those moments.
 
Begging comes from a place deep inside me and it is one very special way i have of saying to my Master, not that i consider myself to be lowly but, that i consider Him to be far above me.  It is something very special because it is something that i do for no one else, only my Master.  i do not beg anything from anyone else, only Him.  And, to me, that is a very special way of telling Him just how wonderful He is to me and just how highly i regard Him.
 
slave joy
Owned property of Master David

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ORIGINAL: MzMia

Humm, Whiplash I beg to disagree.
I have found submissive males VERY good at begging.
It seems it is the submissive women that hate doing it.
Many submissive males especially enjoy crawling.
Gotta love it!
begging and crawling just fuckin go hand in hand.
I loveeeeeeeee humiliation, can you tell?
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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ORIGINAL: Casie

I'm horrible at begging and I don't really like it either. I think that is one of the ultimate giving of pride and is hard for alot of submissives. Either way Andy rarely likes me to beg so..

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ORIGINAL: MzMia

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ORIGINAL: Casie

I'm horrible at begging and I don't really like it either. I think that is one of the ultimate giving of pride and is hard for alot of submissives. Either way Andy rarely likes me to beg so..

That is the point, it is getting to the heart and soul of things.
Real begging, pleading and groveling comes from the soul {unless you are a great actress}
its not an object, a costume or something that you put on and enjoy.
It is humility at its best, it shows the depths of how low you can really go.
The fact that many can not do this, speaks volumes.

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ORIGINAL: charlotte12

...begging is difficult because i have a hard time expressing what i want and need. I get uncomfortable at the feeling of someone making a decision based on my needs. However i know that's not good and i know that in a way that's not what's going on because that would imply that i still have some kind of power. I dont know, i'm still thinking through the whole begging thing and i'm glad He's pushing me in that aspect. ...

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ORIGINAL: mbes

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ORIGINAL: MzMia

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ORIGINAL: Casie

I'm horrible at begging and I don't really like it either. I think that is one of the ultimate giving of pride and is hard for alot of submissives. Either way Andy rarely likes me to beg so..

That is the point, it is getting to the heart and soul of things.
Real begging, pleading and groveling comes from the soul {unless you are a great actress}
its not an object, a costume or something that you put on and enjoy.
It is humility at its best, it shows the depths of how low you can really go.
The fact that many can not do this, speaks volumes.

I find this an interesting perspective, and I'd love to know more about it.
I've always thought of begging as ultimately prideful. For me, it would be taking an answer from him that I consider negative and attempting to change it to suit my own will. I'll do it in bed, and then it is indeed an insistence on my own wants/needs being met, which he sometimes chooses to indulge. Outside of that, if I ask for something and am told no, it would be difficult to shake the idea that begging is still an insistence on my own will being catered to, rather than his. Being human, I've been known to push for that very thing, but I get a better reaction when I've used reason to "argue my case" rather than emotional pleas. I find it much easier to show how low I can go in an effort to please, than in an effort to change an answer I don't like.
Now I wonder how others see the matter, if any would care to comment?

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ORIGINAL: Bearlee



I am not good at asking (or sometimes even KNOWING) what it is I want.  To find such a Dom as yours would be good for me. 
 
Oh, and someday I will quit asking 'why'...
 
Thank you for your post.
b

Edited to add:

Okay, I agree even asking for permission to go to the bathroom is a bit over the top (unless, for some reason the two of you are playing with 'begging' for the fun of it).  To me...'micro-management' is not something I'm interested in. 
 
I agree that asking permission to go to the bathroom might be a little over the top for me unless done for a specific reason. I am currently working on pleasing my Master without having to get specific orders on how to do it in that moment. For example, going to bed has been something we've been discussing. I love it when He sends me to bed but i'm working on making sure myself that i get enough sleep since i know it pleases Him for me to be rested.
 
 But, charlotte made a good point.  Begging would take on a whole new meaning for me should a Dominant be trying to teach me something about asking for what I want.
 
Yes, i definitely see it as something that he is helping me with, helping me ask for what i want. I could pretend to beg, and whine and cry about wanting something for hours ( i did go to school for acting..lol) but i want it to be real if i'm begging for something from Him. However, because i have trouble asking for what i want or need it never felt real. I would "beg" if told to but it never felt real becuase i wasn't sure i really wanted whatever it was i was begging for. Thus i disliked begging.

 I wonder how many of us DO have trouble asking for what it is we want (need?) just then?  Dang, I have trouble giving directions (with regard to my person (blush)), so there is no doubt I have trouble asking for certain things.
I dunno. It's food for thought. Thanks for posting to say you relate to what i said. Sometimes i wonder if i'm sounding crazy...lol

 
b

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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant]The real reason for beggin g then is what makes the difference, isn't it?

If it is simply to get your way, then it is not coming from the soul, it is coming from a manipulative or spoiled or even a controlling aspect of your character. If it is done because it is to show him/her how low you can go, how you realize that what you are seeking ONLY he/she can grant at that moment (or any other), to show him/her that you realize how much it pleases them to hear you beg despite the humiliation of it for you...and by doing so, you are also giving them a chance to humiliate you which pleases them...then it is not an insistence of your will being catered to but theirs, isn't it?
The mindset of the person doing the asking, the honest self-assessment of what they are trying to do with their asking/begging, is what comes into play.

One could make an argument that "pleading your case", even if done with reason, is still...within a D/s dynamic...a form of asking/begging. It may be at a more intellectual level and not down to the soul-wrenching, gut-instinct level but it is a start.

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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

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ORIGINAL: mbes

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ORIGINAL: MzMia

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ORIGINAL: Casie

I'm horrible at begging and I don't really like it either. I think that is one of the ultimate giving of pride and is hard for alot of submissives. Either way Andy rarely likes me to beg so..

That is the point, it is getting to the heart and soul of things.
Real begging, pleading and groveling comes from the soul {unless you are a great actress}
its not an object, a costume or something that you put on and enjoy.
It is humility at its best, it shows the depths of how low you can really go.
The fact that many can not do this, speaks volumes.

I find this an interesting perspective, and I'd love to know more about it.
I've always thought of begging as ultimately prideful. For me, it would be taking an answer from him that I consider negative and attempting to change it to suit my own will. I'll do it in bed, and then it is indeed an insistence on my own wants/needs being met, which he sometimes chooses to indulge. Outside of that, if I ask for something and am told no, it would be difficult to shake the idea that begging is still an insistence on my own will being catered to, rather than his. Being human, I've been known to push for that very thing, but I get a better reaction when I've used reason to "argue my case" rather than emotional pleas. I find it much easier to show how low I can go in an effort to please, than in an effort to change an answer I don't like.
Now I wonder how others see the matter, if any would care to comment?

The real reason for beggin g then is what makes the difference, isn't it? 

If it is simply to get your way, then it is not coming from the soul, it is coming from a manipulative or spoiled or even a controlling aspect of your character.  If it is done because it is to show him/her how low you can go, how you realize that what you are seeking ONLY he/she can grant at that moment (or any other), to show him/her that you realize how much it pleases them to hear you beg despite the humiliation of it for you...and by doing so, you are also giving them a chance to humiliate you which pleases them...then it is not an insistence of your will being catered to but theirs, isn't it?
The mindset of the person doing the asking, the honest self-assessment of what they are trying to do with their asking/begging, is what comes into play.

One could make an argument that "pleading your case", even if done with reason, is still...within a D/s dynamic...a form of asking/begging.  It may be at a more intellectual level and not down to the soul-wrenching, gut-instinct level but it is a start.