RE: Testing (Full Version)

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classykindasassy -> RE: Testing (6/12/2007 7:52:51 PM)

You must never have had any sort of relationship with children, or supervisory position at work. People in general test authority of all kinds. YOU test authority. It is a part of the human condition to find out where the edge of the earth is, so to speak. We all want to know , on the court, how far is too far to push.

And then there are some that are just little shits in life who have to fuck with everything because they like to fight or get smacked down so they can play their passive-agressive games.

For myself, I have enough to keep me busy and engaged mentally to where I don't have to play at tripping people's triggers. I can straightly communicate. BUT, sometimes, the inner imp comes out and I say or do something I know will be met with a reaction. A mild one usually, and I like to keep it fun and playful. After all, a doormat is no fun.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Testing (6/12/2007 8:56:07 PM)

I know lots of doormats who are fun friends. 

You'll have to tell me and my partner exactly how I test him and he tests me?



RCdc -> RE: Testing (6/13/2007 2:23:38 AM)

My 'inner imp' comes out too, but it dam well knows that fucking with testing is hardly 'fun'.
Children do test, but that isn't about testing authority, it is about finding a place and where they are in the grand scheme of things.  In a healthy relationship - testing is pointless because for me, I already know and understand my place.
 
And doormats aren't always 'unfun'.  You say doormat like it's a bad thing - and there are plenty of yummy doormats out here.
 
The passive-aggressive stance I pretty much agree with.
 
Peace
the.dark.
 
P.S - LA will you please stop beating me to the posts?[:-]  [;)]



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Testing (6/13/2007 4:58:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: classykindasassy

You must never have had any sort of relationship with children, or supervisory position at work. People in general test authority of all kinds. YOU test authority. It is a part of the human condition to find out where the edge of the earth is, so to speak. We all want to know , on the court, how far is too far to push.

And then there are some that are just little shits in life who have to fuck with everything because they like to fight or get smacked down so they can play their passive-agressive games.

For myself, I have enough to keep me busy and engaged mentally to where I don't have to play at tripping people's triggers. I can straightly communicate. BUT, sometimes, the inner imp comes out and I say or do something I know will be met with a reaction. A mild one usually, and I like to keep it fun and playful. After all, a doormat is no fun.

i suppose this was directed towards me (if not i apologize) however to answer your assumption, i have 2 UMs and both test my authority constantly.  yet my question was directed to my Chicago neighbor for his definition of "testing" since it was vaguely implied in his original post. there are times you might say i "test" Daddy's anger/patience but then again i don't because it will backfire on me.



Kitte9 -> RE: Testing (6/13/2007 8:59:45 AM)

I suppose the OP would have to ask the one to whom he is referring why they are testing, as there seems to be mixed respone here. I try not to test, but I know I tug a bit because I am insecure. We have not yet gotten our communication on the same level, though we are working on it. [:)] 



dawntreader -> RE: Testing (6/13/2007 9:34:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaverosebeauty
Everyone tests their partners in some fashion.

No, we don't.

Life tests every relationship far more than any test I could devise.  No reason for me to add on.


Absoloutely!!!



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Testing (6/13/2007 12:26:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
P.S - LA will you please stop beating me to the posts?[:-]  [;)]
 
LOL but I like when you repeat what I say in your flowy italic wording :)  I just can't wait for someone to give you some effulsive praise for YOUR opinion and completely ignores me.
 
And for the record, I had no net all morning, so you had plenty of time then.



octavia -> RE: Testing (6/13/2007 12:28:26 PM)

Interesting thing I've noticed about myself and testing.. I will push farther, at different rates, and sometimes not at all depending on who it is im talking too.  Some Dom's I just know not to test. [;)]
Others I can play with like a cat with a string.....

I wonder what thats all about?  I mean, if it really is just a me thing and it's just all about my insecurities etc.. why would I act differently when speaking to different Doms?



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Testing (6/13/2007 12:31:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: octavia
I wonder what thats all about?  I mean, if it really is just a me thing and it's just all about my insecurities etc.. why would I act differently when speaking to different Doms?

Because it depends on your level of comfort that you have at that time with that person.  Depends on what sort of energy you want to get from the exchange.



RCdc -> RE: Testing (6/13/2007 12:39:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
P.S - LA will you please stop beating me to the posts?[:-]  [;)]
 
LOL but I like when you repeat what I say in your flowy italic wording :)  I just can't wait for someone to give you some effulsive praise for YOUR opinion and completely ignores me.
 
And for the record, I had no net all morning, so you had plenty of time then.

 
Haha... yeah, thats happened to me before!
As for your morning (my afternoon) - yeah, I been busy posting - problem is all the best postings and questions come in my early morning usually when I am in bed - so much for the time difference hey.  We need more European and Aus posters![;)]
 
Peace
the.dark.



domiguy -> RE: Testing (6/13/2007 12:41:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: octavia

Interesting thing I've noticed about myself and testing.. I will push farther, at different rates, and sometimes not at all depending on who it is im talking too.  Some Dom's I just know not to test. [;)]
Others I can play with like a cat with a string.....

I wonder what thats all about?  I mean, if it really is just a me thing and it's just all about my insecurities etc.. why would I act differently when speaking to different Doms?


Perhaps it is time that we have a discussion about you moving from one Oregon to another...The Domidong awaits but not with patience.

"What's it all about Octie? Is it just for the moment we live? What's it all about when you sort it out Octie?
Are we  meant to take more than we give? Or are we meant to be kind?"

----As sung by the beautiful and talented Dionne Warwick



imthatacheyouhav -> RE: Testing (6/13/2007 12:52:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: rexfernnell

Do all subs test? and if so why?
Master Jon-Mark



oh good gawd - why do all Doms like you use that bloody awful word - all in your questions to us?

and to answer your question with another question - what the heck is your definition of "testing"?


[sm=biggrin.gif]...you are too funny ...i love it...



octavia -> RE: Testing (6/13/2007 1:34:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy



Perhaps it is time that we have a discussion about you moving from one Oregon to another...The Domidong awaits but not with patience.

"What's it all about Octie? Is it just for the moment we live? What's it all about when you sort it out Octie?
Are we  meant to take more than we give? Or are we meant to be kind?"

----As sung by the beautiful and talented Dionne Warwick


OMG i had no idea there were two Oregon's.



sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Testing (6/13/2007 7:27:46 PM)

i'm going to start a CM petition to eradicate that word - ALL - from the BDSM vocabulary ...FOREVER!!   <weg>



berrysurprise -> RE: Testing (6/14/2007 6:37:50 AM)

i am not entirely sure what is meant by the word 'testing'  although i can see maybe two possiblities. #1 could be as was mentioned above the sound of  'insecurities' in the sub or subs... Something that may need to be addressed by their Master or Dom.Certainly something that is need of a Master or Doms reassurance. #2 however could be simply the lessons that appear as our life journey flows. Similar to the ocean's waves we all have our ups and downs. Unfortunately there is no way to avoid them. Facing them together can certainly help to overcome them alot quicker though.



viperess -> RE: Testing (6/14/2007 7:03:41 PM)

Greetings,
To me when a slave repeatedly test their Master they are doing no more than trying to top from the bottom. If they feel they have to act in such a manner repeatedly then they must feel the need for constant attention, even if it is bad attention. i can honestly say i try to not do this as to me it is very unslave like (okay go ahead and flame that word choice). Someone mentioned how most everyone tops from the bottom or bottoms from the top...nope not someone who is secure in their slavery and who has total trust and security in their Master. To me testing, being bratty, pulling the limits...ect is not a way in which i wish Master to think of me. Yes i have insecurities out the ass but that does not give me the right to push them off on my Master with unbecoming behavior. To me that would end up pushing and testing myself right out the door. But then again that is just this old slaves 2cents worth for the day.
Respectfully,



bluelace001 -> RE: Testing (6/14/2007 7:42:35 PM)

Here's a thought, There are times when a sub/slave may test due to the lack of dominance in the relationship. I have mentored several submissives in our community that have run into this issue. They were testing because the dominant wasn't doing thier part in the relationship and it caused the sub to feel lost in a way. The result was to test to see if the Dom would take control.
(goes back to quietly watching from my lil dark hole)
bluelace_V
(property of Viper_001)



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Testing (6/14/2007 9:13:15 PM)

Which essentially means they were insecure, there were problems and instead of verbalizing the issue and talking it out and making choices on how to proceed- they worked passive aggressively to try to control the outcome they wanted.



bluelace001 -> RE: Testing (6/14/2007 9:17:50 PM)

Or in one case the Dom wasn't true to himself and didn't want to do what he originally said, and it was talked about by the sub....but when it came down to it.....the Dom wasn't really what he tought he was. He was more vanilla, who did occasional kink....
It happens, but a sub will test and communication is needed. Just a fact of the way some senerios play out.



Celeste43 -> RE: Testing (6/15/2007 5:34:43 AM)

Of course sometimes a sub will test because the dominant isn't domming. Claiming to be a dominant, giving rules but never enforcing them or even noticing if they're being followed or not, is not the same as actually being dominant.

And since these are the same people who are so insecure that if you say to them 'what gives, I'm keeping my part of the bargain but you aren't' who then cry tftb a sub rather than have an honest conversation twisted into accusations about him/her will test hoping to get the promised response.

Claiming to be dominant isn't the same as being so. Blaming the other person for all the faults in the relationship simply shows up the blame thrower as immature and unwilling to admit to imperfection or able to work on his/her own flaws.

Relationship problems are always 50/50. They are never entirely one person's fault.



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