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Honesty? - 5/31/2005 3:04:31 PM   
Tom50


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/5/2004
Status: offline 		Most won't reply when stating I'm a married DOM, communication on line isn't even an option. If I didn't state my marital status I would be accused of a lie, If I do; I'm accused of lying to my spouse. It's a lose - lose situation, basically it's a sin to be married and in this lifestyle. I almost understand why people lie, yet I can not subscribe to it.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Honesty? - 5/31/2005 3:06:59 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Some people are going to flame you, but don't worry about it. You're doing the right thing by being honest. If someone doesn't want to be with you because you're married, then you wouldn't want to be with that person either. If all you're looking for is a fuck, you can hire a pro. So you're looking for more than just a fuck. Wait till the right person comes around, and she will accept you for exactly what you are.

(in reply to Tom50)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Honesty? - 5/31/2005 3:18:42 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tom50
Most won't reply when stating I'm a married DOM, communication on line isn't even an option. If I didn't state my marital status I would be accused of a lie, If I do; I'm accused of lying to my spouse. It's a lose - lose situation, basically it's a sin to be married and in this lifestyle. I almost understand why people lie, yet I can not subscribe to it.

I don't understand your point beyond a need to vent??
I don't think it's a sin to be married in this lifestyle of outside of it; the sin might be married and cheating; but that is for you/your conscience, and your wife to deal with.

There's no point in lying since the truth will eventually surface.
You simply need to be patient and find the "right" counterpart for you; one who doesn't mind you're married and unavailable for a realtionship beyond that which a married man can offer... As long as you tell the potential that you are married, and weather your wife is a consensual player in this relationship.
Happy hunting, M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Tom50)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Honesty? - 5/31/2005 3:37:03 PM   
AAkasha


Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tom50
Most won't reply when stating I'm a married DOM, communication on line isn't even an option. If I didn't state my marital status I would be accused of a lie, If I do; I'm accused of lying to my spouse. It's a lose - lose situation, basically it's a sin to be married and in this lifestyle. I almost understand why people lie, yet I can not subscribe to it.

I don't understand your point beyond a need to vent??
I don't think it's a sin to be married in this lifestyle of outside of it; the sin might be married and cheating; but that is for you/your conscience, and your wife to deal with.

There's no point in lying since the truth will eventually surface.
You simply need to be patient and find the "right" counterpart for you; one who doesn't mind you're married and unavailable for a realtionship beyond that which a married man can offer... As long as you tell the potential that you are married, and weather your wife is a consensual player in this relationship.
Happy hunting, M


Just out of curiosity, for men that are married and looking, is the option of seeing a professional dominatrix completely out of the question?

I ask this from a wife's point of view a little bit, because it seems the risk of "developing a relationship" with another kinky person outside the relationship can much more easily lead to all kinds of complications: sexual infidelity (as in intercourse or fluid transfer, risk of disease), emotional attachment, love, infatuation/addiction, etc. But, seeing a professional, in most cases, doesn't carry those same risks because of the nature of the transaction. It's much less likely you'll be having intercourse with your professional dominatrix or getting involved on a very emotional level, and it's cost prohibitive to become too convenient or accessible.

For subs seeking play outside your marriage, what's the reason you don't visit a professional for play?

Akasha


_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Honesty? - 5/31/2005 5:36:30 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I think honesty is paramount. So what if it deters a few? It won't deter the one who doesn't mind and wants someone married as well.
I know plenty of people like that. Some their significant other's even know about it.

It's rough looking for a partner if you're single to. You'd just have different gripes.

The right person for you will come around when you least expect it.

(in reply to Tom50)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Honesty? - 5/31/2005 11:22:47 PM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		Being maried isn't the problem, to me, it's cheating on your partner.

I talk to plenty of married people and have played with a few of the. In every case, though, the partner had full knowledge and met me. That's the difference to me.


still, honesty -is- paramount. If you can't tell your girl/boy you're married, why should they trust you to hurt them?

_____________________________

~in the begining it is always dark~

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Honesty? - 6/1/2005 4:16:37 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		So you're being honest about being married and they're being honest about not wanting to get involved with you. The only reason I can see for your post is that you don't respect their choice. Keep trying until you find someone who doesn't mind your marital status.

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

(in reply to Tom50)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Honesty? - 6/1/2005 7:43:43 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

It's a lose - lose situation, basically it's a sin to be married and in this lifestyle.


Afraid so, being a "little honest" is like being a "little pregnant". Sooner or later, you give birth to the truth and have to deal with it. You may get to experience some sensation in the lifestyle as a married player, but you will never achieve the sensational; because the part of you that achieves that state is captive in the quilt part of your soul.

Good luck.

(in reply to Tom50)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Honesty? - 6/1/2005 7:48:55 AM   
trampleonme


Posts: 26
Joined: 5/31/2005
Status: offline 		Not wanting to be dishonest to my spouse
quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tom50
Most won't reply when stating I'm a married DOM, communication on line isn't even an option. If I didn't state my marital status I would be accused of a lie, If I do; I'm accused of lying to my spouse. It's a lose - lose situation, basically it's a sin to be married and in this lifestyle. I almost understand why people lie, yet I can not subscribe to it.

I don't understand your point beyond a need to vent??
I don't think it's a sin to be married in this lifestyle of outside of it; the sin might be married and cheating; but that is for you/your conscience, and your wife to deal with.

There's no point in lying since the truth will eventually surface.
You simply need to be patient and find the "right" counterpart for you; one who doesn't mind you're married and unavailable for a realtionship beyond that which a married man can offer... As long as you tell the potential that you are married, and weather your wife is a consensual player in this relationship.
Happy hunting, M


Just out of curiosity, for men that are married and looking, is the option of seeing a professional dominatrix completely out of the question?

I ask this from a wife's point of view a little bit, because it seems the risk of "developing a relationship" with another kinky person outside the relationship can much more easily lead to all kinds of complications: sexual infidelity (as in intercourse or fluid transfer, risk of disease), emotional attachment, love, infatuation/addiction, etc. But, seeing a professional, in most cases, doesn't carry those same risks because of the nature of the transaction. It's much less likely you'll be having intercourse with your professional dominatrix or getting involved on a very emotional level, and it's cost prohibitive to become too convenient or accessible.

For subs seeking play outside your marriage, what's the reason you don't visit a professional for play?

Akasha



(in reply to AAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Honesty? - 6/1/2005 8:52:49 AM   
kc692


Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

So you're being honest about being married and they're being honest about not wanting to get involved with you. The only reason I can see for your post is that you don't respect their choice. Keep trying until you find someone who doesn't mind your marital status.


Would you rather talk to a lot, then find out, it's impossible to carry it further? Being honest in your profile means more chance of finding a match, than wasting your time....


< Message edited by kc692 -- 6/1/2005 8:53:27 AM >

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Honesty? - 6/1/2005 10:57:09 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I'm afraid I don't understand what the "quilt part of my soul" is.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Sooner or later, you give birth to the truth and have to deal with it. You may get to experience some sensation in the lifestyle as a married player, but you will never achieve the sensational; because the part of you that achieves that state is captive in the quilt part of your soul.


(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Honesty? - 6/1/2005 11:34:12 AM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: trampleonme
Not wanting to be dishonest to my spouse

I don't understand... Your profile does not say you are married, does that mean your spouse knows, but other people reading your profile should not be privy to that very important piece of the puzzle? M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to trampleonme)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Honesty? - 6/1/2005 12:45:59 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

I'm afraid I don't understand what the "quilt part of my soul" is.


L&M
The OP referenced "sin" in the original post. It implied belief in a soul, so I used it in my reply.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Honesty? - 6/1/2005 3:17:36 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		OK but what's the quilt? I just don't get it.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Honesty? - 6/1/2005 3:28:15 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Tom50

Most won't reply when stating I'm a married DOM, communication on line isn't even an option. If I didn't state my marital status I would be accused of a lie, If I do; I'm accused of lying to my spouse. It's a lose - lose situation, basically it's a sin to be married and in this lifestyle. I almost understand why people lie, yet I can not subscribe to it.


I truly don't mean to stir the pot here, but it sounds like you are sighing in despair as you are even cut off from online communication because you are married.
Are you stictly looking for communication/discussion, or are you actually trying to develop online cyber-sex - cyber-dom relationships? And even if you are, most of the online gang doesn't really care if you are married or not. Alot of them probably are too.
But perhaps you begin these chats or correspondences with a view toward a r/l encounter? What I do notice is that you list "Dom For Cuckold Couples" under your special skills.
Now I know what that means. I suspect many here also know what that means. And it is stating quite clearly that you are willing to get together with another couple for 3 way sex which can often include bi-sexual acts between the the two males. That may or may not become a regular relationship or it may just be some casual and kinky sex for a night. Are you being safe? Are they being safe? What are they doing when they are not with you? And does your wife know that you are placing yourself at risk (or are willing to place yourself at risk) and thereby placing her at risk (or are willing to place her at risk)?
I, Myself, would have to question what it is you are really seeking. What is your utlimate goal here? That goal could be the cause for concern and a cut off of communication.
I see this often listed as a "special skill" on profiles of Doms. And it is intimate intercourse that used to occur without a condom to facilitate the "cream pie". I can't state with any accuracy how often no condom is used in this day and age. That's a pretty specific fetish and your profile seems to emphasize that interest as noted below:

quote:

Five years into the lifestyle and still trying to find the magic that makes the common bond we all have. I enjoy talking with others(especially couples) in the lifestyle as we all have something to offer each other


Your interest seems to be geared toward couples, and your profile indicates why. At least that is how I would read it.


< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 6/1/2005 3:33:13 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to Tom50)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Honesty? - 6/1/2005 5:52:02 PM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline 		What it sounds like to Me, quite frankly, is that you do not want your wife in the picture. If you did, you would have put married in your profile. Thus, I suspect your wife knows nothing about this. It sounds like you just want a little hanky panky on the side in secrecy. Now you have attempted to lie to people and also tell some the truth about your wife, but she is not involved and T/they want nothing to do with you. Good for them, I say.

_____________________________

Hi. I don't care. Thanks.

Wicca: Pretending to be an ancient religion since 1956

Catholic Church: Serving up guilt since 107 AD.

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Honesty? - 6/1/2005 6:10:23 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Kenin, where do you see that he has lied to anyone? His whole complaint is that he loses potential partners BY TELLING THE TRUTH.

(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Honesty? - 6/1/2005 6:59:10 PM   
kisshou


Posts: 2425
Joined: 2/11/2005
Status: offline 		If a man stated to me he was a married dom, I would assume his wife was his slave and he was looking for a second slave.



to Mercnbeth , why won't he acheive the sensational? I did not understand what you wrote.


At this point I am not sure what anyone is saying :) the joys of online communication *waves hands around for emphasis*



(in reply to Tom50)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Honesty? - 6/1/2005 7:52:40 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

OK but what's the quilt? I just don't get it.


L&M,
He called it a "sin".
quote:

Tom50:...it's a sin to be married and in this lifestyle.
Calling anything a sin implies taking on some guilt. At least in my mind.

quote:

kisshou: why won't he acheive the sensational?

To achieve what I call the "sensational" your mind must be guilt free. (see above reference to "sin".)

But I agree - right behind speech, the written word is the poorest means of communication.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Honesty? - 6/1/2005 8:24:36 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		By God............
Honesty is a relative thing. Give me a lever and you will beg to be allowed to be honest about burning the reichstag...which you did.....
Now if I were to tell a Nazi that no Jew was hiding in my house and one was.........it's a lie and who amongst you casts the first stone? On the other hand these white lies that keep accumulating.............

So, it is what it is, moralize to your heart's content.......
You have social responsibility..........I still don't believe that I give some couple hundred million of you trust enough to drive on the right side of the road (in the country I write from) and behave, out of hand.

Statistics say that 43 percent of HIV positive people lie to their prospective partners.

Trust but verify...........

It is like the color green, I can give you a few examples and hope you catch on, no dictionary definition is necessary and sufficient to explain and comprehend (philosophers; please help me outta this).

Yeah, you will get those who don't like your schtik, and those that will applaud you........

Be kind, be honest, be nice, be social.........can't do more in life

Ron





_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 20
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