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RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 9:27:55 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

Some people are just jerks...I used to get hate mail about my profile all of the time just because of the fact that I mentioned that I am under a collar of protection.......Hmmmm.....Or was it because I wrote that JonBenet Ramsey might have "had it coming?"....Either way too many of the people out here are complete morons.

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Post #: 21

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 9:32:26 PM

fairerthanshe

Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline

Goodness gracious man! You crack me up!

I get all kinds of people asking me how I got so lucky to wear your collar of protection.

winks ~ fairer

_____________________________

The Nuclear Bomb of Awesome, rockin' the MoFo Hawk, still a bad-ass with a bouncy attitude, and spreading joy as a predator in Hello Kitty panties

Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

(in reply to domiguy)

Post #: 22

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 9:46:29 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I think that by writing that you are being "protected" that in fact you are waving a red flag in front of a bull's nose.. lets see the logic that you are exercising

1) sub hates rude obnoxious emails

2) nice dom offers to filter them out

3) sub then puts this on her profile

net result? Nice doms don't bother, and rude ones decide "how dare this lowly sub bitch try to stop ME from emailing her.. and who does this dom think he is that he can dom me into not contacting her????"

I experienced this once with someone I politely requested not to email me because I am taken (this was written in my profile, but he kept emailing me anyways). He was bent out of shape for me to suggest that he shouldn't email me.. even exchanged an email or two with my Daddy over it.

Now my point is that you are not going to be protected from nasty freaks just because you are protected... so why bother being protected? I could understand it if your motivation was to attend real life functions and you felt like wearing a collar for the evening so not to be bothered to play, but over the internet, it just isn't possible to protect you from users deciding to be rude and contact you... in fact it might spark a stalker.

My advice, don't block, don't email the weirdos back... ask your "protector" to give feedback on red flags that you see, talk about your potentials.. and if you cannot trust your own judgment in selecting a dominant, perhaps you should think about that for a while before becoming attached to one.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 23

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/12/2007 10:55:59 PM

DarkDreams123

Posts: 74
Joined: 1/25/2007
Status: offline

Greetings grlneedstolearn,

One thing I notice about your profile is that you don't really state what you ARE looking for. You don't tell me anything about yourself or the Dominant that you are looking for (or if you are really looking, for that matter).

Most of what you say is negative. Why not try a more positive approach?

Good luck,

-DarkDreams

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 24

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/13/2007 2:32:01 AM

Totalmaster4you

Posts: 1359
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

I don't think you've done anything deserving of hate mail. I would make a couple of suggestions. Get rid of the journals because they could be seen as a challenge because of the negativity. Change the way you refer to your Dom. Change it to say that you are so and so's sub/slave and want friends only. It seems that saying things like under the protection, implies you are still looking.
Good luck
(edited for spelling and flow)

< Message edited by Totalmaster4you -- 6/13/2007 2:36:46 AM >

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Sometime ago I decided it was time to change my nic. However I didn't wish to disconnect from my original profile. Since then I've signed Touch your mind (TYM or Tym). Opinions in my posts should be taken as my opinion and my opinion only.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 25

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/13/2007 7:07:45 AM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

quote:

Is there a better way instead of protector? Should i change it to Mentor instead?

I'm curious why you think a man is the best choice for this role, and why you can't talk about boys with girlfriends?

And if you don't have any kinky girlfriends to discuss boys with, then why can't you find some instead of peddling your vulnerability to some knight in shining armor you'd call a mentor or protector?

_____________________________

"Get a bicycle. You will not regret it if you live." . . . Mark Twain

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Post #: 26

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/13/2007 7:15:04 AM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fairerthanshe

Goodness gracious man! You crack me up!

I get all kinds of people asking me how I got so lucky to wear your collar of protection.

winks ~ fairer

Some girls have all the luck!!!!

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

(in reply to fairerthanshe)

Post #: 27

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/13/2007 7:17:22 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

And if you don't have any kinky girlfriends to discuss boys with, then why can't you find some instead of peddling your vulnerability to some knight in shining armor you'd call a mentor or protector?

Do you know what it costs to keep armor shining these days? To say nothing of the time spent polishing. Sheesh... some people are so unappreciative.

John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to happypervert)

Post #: 28

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/13/2007 7:27:33 AM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline

Hey grl to answer your question I dont think that I've ever received hate mail but then again I dont post "my life story" online. I'm not saying you do but unless I give an opinion on the forums your not going to find much about me and my personal life on my profile. What i do is private in and out of the bedroom, and i dont speak about it not only to protect myself but who ever it is that i am with as well.

Best of luck to you.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 29

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/13/2007 7:28:38 AM

drawntothedark

Posts: 572
Joined: 10/19/2006
From: Arkansas
Status: offline

What I have heard time and time again from men is that they will not bother with a profile that has "UNDER PROTECTION" written anywhere on a girls profile.

It's a waste of their time they say because if she can't be grown up enough to make her own choices how will she ever be grown up enough to serve him.

Also most will not "jump" through hoops for you. They aren't going to give a flip what some other Dom tells them to do with regards to you. So they simply won't bother with the collar of protection girls.

Having it on your profile may be limiting your options.

But about your problem with the hate mail. The best advice I can think of is ignore it, go on and block the person causing you pain.

This is the internet and your gonna get jerks. It's the nature of the beast. Of course, collarme in their infinate wisdom gave you a block button to use. Just push it and the bad men go away like- magic!

< Message edited by drawntothedark -- 6/13/2007 7:32:47 AM >

(in reply to Rover)

Post #: 30

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/13/2007 7:38:57 AM

meticulousgirl

Posts: 969
Joined: 2/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Totalmaster4you

I don't think you've done anything deserving of hate mail. I would make a couple of suggestions. Get rid of the journals because they could be seen as a challenge because of the negativity. Change the way you refer to your Dom. Change it to say that you are so and so's sub/slave and want friends only. It seems that saying things like under the protection, implies you are still looking.
Good luck
(edited for spelling and flow)

I kind of have to agree with Total Master even though what he is suggesting may seem unfair maybe it is in your best interest at least for the time being. Wording tends to be everything these days as well as personal appearance of course!

(in reply to Totalmaster4you)

Post #: 31

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/13/2007 7:46:05 AM

SadisticMan

Posts: 143
Joined: 8/19/2006
From: Columbus, OH
Status: offline

what does it mean to be under the protection of a Dom?
Are you on the federal witness relocation program or something?
He is armed while out with you?

sorry, I'm just being a smart-ass, but I think many of us don't
understand the "collar of protection". That and the "mentor"
seems to me a way to "collar" a sub, control them and their activities
under the guise of helpfulness. You are in effect a slave to them right?
Under their control, some are absolute controlling, even your emails
and contacts. I dont' see how that can't be slavery to someone.

_____________________________

We are looking into forming a committe to look into a study to discuss the possibilities of making recommendations to the chair so that it may be considered as an option sometime in the near future, at least we're thinking about it.

(in reply to TennesseeRain)

Post #: 32

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/13/2007 7:48:24 AM

hiddendesires2

Posts: 11
Joined: 5/3/2005
Status: offline

No one has the right to judge you. If it feels right for you, then continue. Call it what YOU are comfortable with. Do remember that block button.

(in reply to TennesseeRain)

Post #: 33

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/13/2007 7:49:41 AM

SadisticMan

Posts: 143
Joined: 8/19/2006
From: Columbus, OH
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: drawntothedark

What I have heard time and time again from men is that they will not bother with a profile that has "UNDER PROTECTION" written anywhere on a girls profile.

It's a waste of their time they say because if she can't be grown up enough to make her own choices how will she ever be grown up enough to serve him.

Also most will not "jump" through hoops for you. They aren't going to give a flip what some other Dom tells them to do with regards to you. So they simply won't bother with the collar of protection girls.

Having it on your profile may be limiting your options.

But about your problem with the hate mail. The best advice I can think of is ignore it, go on and block the person causing you pain.

This is the internet and your gonna get jerks. It's the nature of the beast. Of course, collarme in their infinate wisdom gave you a block button to use. Just push it and the bad men go away like- magic!

You are quite correct. If I see "under the protection of", "have a mentor", "have a trainer" etc... that I
have to talk to about meeting you...FORGET IT, not worth the time to impress 2 people, and 1 of them
being the one who actually owns your mind. Why not just declare you are his slave and stop looking?
The big problem is, that your "mentor" doesn't want to loose you, so he will never approve of another Dom.
He will then have to work hard to trick another subbie into being his un-offical slave that he can control.
Then when you meet someOne, are you going to maintain this communication channel?

Really seems like the single girls who wear a wedding band out to clubs so guys will leave them alone.

< Message edited by SadisticMan -- 6/13/2007 7:54:40 AM >

_____________________________

We are looking into forming a committe to look into a study to discuss the possibilities of making recommendations to the chair so that it may be considered as an option sometime in the near future, at least we're thinking about it.

(in reply to drawntothedark)

Post #: 34

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/13/2007 8:09:29 AM

Evlgryn

Posts: 64
Joined: 9/24/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkDreams123

Greetings grlneedstolearn,

One thing I notice about your profile is that you don't really state what you ARE looking for. You don't tell me anything about yourself or the Dominant that you are looking for (or if you are really looking, for that matter).

Most of what you say is negative. Why not try a more positive approach?

Good luck,

-DarkDreams

What he said!

I am soo tired of opening up a profile and seeing a long rant against inconsiderate doms, which in itself is unpleasant and abusive. I am currently searching for a sub, with my slave's help, and have run into a few.

I have done an impromptu survey as to why these angry women are popping up on my computer screen, usually in a pushup bra or naked. The Search program when you open up Collarme acts passively to put anyone who meets your criteria on your opening page.

The first thing I have found is that a lot of these women haven't adjusted their profile properly.

The gal saying, "this girl is now happily collared to HighLordBumfuk,
thank you, thank you...
no more calls please,
will you all leave me alone!!!"

Has not taken time to change her profile to say she is NOT actively seeking male doms. An action which would have kept her off my opening page entirely.

Another is Poly families...if you are in a poly family and seeking another female to spice things up for you and your domdaddy , you are NOT SEEKING a poly family. That is unless you are looking to jump ship. What you are seeking is females ....again a profile that won't pop up on my screen and tempt me to rudeness.

The third thing is profiles of convenience. "NO, NO I am just looking, conversation only, not really interested". Sometimes they are under someones "protection" Then a week later THIS gal is "proudly collared to HighLordBumfuk. While many of us were being polite, and following the wishes expressed on the profile, HighLordBumfuk, ignored the profile and moved in to score.
Rewarding the kind of behaviour you are all condemning is not the way to stop the behaviour.

I have sold vacuum cleaners door-to-door, a hard job which I did not pursue longterm. I can tell you 99 percent say they won't , but some buy the vaccuum. That is why the salesman doesn't listen when you say no....because he knows people who say no still buy. A hard thing to swallow in a time of sound bites, and bumpersticker politics, everything boiled down to absolutes. But there are times, when NO, doesn't mean NO, otherwise we wouldn't need safewords.

_____________________________

"Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb...Ludicrous speed . . . go! "
- Dark Helmet, "Space Balls, the Motion Picture"

(in reply to DarkDreams123)

Post #: 35

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/13/2007 8:11:55 AM

slavemaia

Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: grlneedstolearn

Good afternoon,
i've been getting really rude emails regarding my status. i am under protection with a Dom who is helping me along. Is this soo wrong in this lifestyle? i've had to block quite a few people due to my journal. Any advice or has anyone else experienced this much "hate mail?"
Thank you

~sits back with her coffee imagining~ Exactly what would this world be like if people really could just let others be who they are and where they're at as long as they weren't doing things without consent. Please remember that another's opinion has to do with who THEY are, not who you are. Don't take it personally.

_____________________________

She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 36

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/13/2007 5:46:46 PM

grlneedstolearn

Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline

To answer most questions out there, i am not looking at the moment for any Dom until i feel i am ready to take that giant step forward. i will though delete my journal entry and try to put more into my profile. In a way though i'm also wanting to keep my Dom's sn private, is there anyway i can work around that? i do have girlfriends who i go out with and can talk about this lifestyle with and they will give me great suggestions, but because they don't actively do anything more than talk with me about it, they don't necessarily have good advice like i'm getting here. But also when they are not available i will turn to my Dom for help and whatnot. i hope this answers most questions that were asked on here.

(in reply to slavemaia)

Post #: 37

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/13/2007 7:28:25 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

You cannot please all the people all the time...There will always be someone critical of the choices you make...grow a thicker skin..and proceed on with YOUR life...Tempting

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I have greatly enjoyed the second blooming...suddenly you find at the age of 50, that a whole new life has opened before you.........Agatha Christie.

You must make tracks into the unknown~~Thoreau

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)

Post #: 38

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/13/2007 8:39:58 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

On the other hand, it might help to clarify exactly what this relationship is that you have with this other man, specially if he's going to be a key helper in getting to know anyone else. Dom, mentor, protector can suggest very different relationships and you've used all three in this thread.

And I'm not sure why his name would need to be kept private? If someone wants to get to know you well, obviously they will need to make a good impression on him first so one would think you'd want to make sure they have easy and immediate access to him.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 39

RE: Am i soo wrong? - 6/13/2007 8:47:05 PM

Sinergy

Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline

I have mentioned to various submissives that I would be more than happy to act as a shit screen for them.

Mainly if they do not want to be bothered, I will bother the cretin that is bothering her.

There is a pattern of assault, a person gets in to targetting that which must be targetted, one approach to getting the person to stop assaulting the person they are assaulting is to offer them up somebody new to assault.

I can annoy the person back and not have any emotional involvement in it, and the person will forget all about the one they were annoying before.

Not sure this qualifies as a collar of protection, but it seems to work.

Sinergy

p.s. Having just watched Hillary Clinton's vagina eat the head off the bomb disposal gynecologist who was trying to get the Snuke (Snatch Nuke) the terrorists planted there, and now watching Eric Cartman's mother get butt-fucked by the sofa delivery guy, I am starting to wonder why it is I enjoy South Park so much.

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 40

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