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DreamSailor -> Can never go back... (6/12/2007 7:21:51 PM)
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To the members of collarme,
I am relatively new here, having taken some time to check out the community and members, and all things considered, I see many others of like interest, and feel at home.
I am 48, single, and have never married. I believe I have always had a dominant personality, as even as a child, I found manipulative, domineering people grating on the psyche, and people to be avoided, as it raised an anger, which for a kid, isn't healthy.
My first experience with D/s, at 19, was over 20 years before I knew there was a D/s community, when a girl I dated for almost nine months, early on announced she believed she had been a slave in a previous life, and found the memory extremely erotic...and we ran with it, learning, exploring, and moving into a deeper and (what I assumed at the time) darker place. How little I knew. Over time, and with many 'stumbles', we came very close to a 'normal' D/s relationship, all self learned.
Over the next 20 years +, all my other relationships were vanilla, and all lacked the spark of that original experience. In the later stage, although finding submissive women (in character, not practice), it still wasn't right. I now believe that between my personality and that early experience, I never had a chance in vanilla relationships; I just didn't realize it. I can never go back...
Since learning of the community, I have had one D/s relationship, which lasted a little over four months, and ended on great terms. We were very suited to each other, but our lives were headed in different directions, and we couldn't resolve the differences. I am very grateful to this slave, as she introduced me into heavy S/m and pushed my knowledge of control as much as I pushed her limits of pain. I can never go back...
Now the time has come to face the facts. I am a professional, but yet to achieve the financial standing to allow an early retirement, but moving in that direction. Approaching 50, I no longer have the luxury of ignoring my true nature, and am now fully intent on finding the submissive/slave who will share the rest of my life.
For me, this is neither a game nor a lifestyle, but life itself. It is natural, it is right, and it is just; it is nature itself. To all here I may meet and converse with, I will treat you with respect and dignity, as I expect the same. With this introduction, I am glad to be part of your community.
I can never go back...
DreamSailor
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