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Duty2Please -> RE: surrendering or ? (6/16/2007 11:01:16 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: charmdpetKeira
In my first D/s relationship I surrendered to my Dom, and his ability to dominate me. I went on gut instinct that he wouldn’t kill me, but he did very little to “earn” my trust. I did what ever he told me, under the premise that I was owned by him.
You surrender what your brain tells you is prudent to surrender -- up to a point, and then sometimes you take a hop, skip or parachute jump once you have enough knowledge of the dominant to make the risk not too risky.
quote:
I don’t know if you read my “need help with wording” thread, but that was the result of my sitting around for approximately 6 months, due that premises; until …. Well, perhaps you will read the thread. It’s under “general discussion”.
Not where I can find it. Perhaps you'll post a link.
quote:
Next time, I hope to do it the way I described to “CreativeDominant”.
Please give me your honest opinion; does it still appear that I am confused?
Confused maybe in the way you posed the initial question, but not confused when you say: "a Dominate [dammit, it's "Dominant"] who has gained my trust to a point where I feel safe, is going to create a desire in me to submit to him; and that is what I believe I would be surrendering to; the desire that trust creates." You got it, babe. You do your thinking before you do your surrendering. Don't parachute out of that plane till you've checked the straps. When you jump, enjoy the view.
You must know all this, but I'm going to say it because it's always hard for me to shut up: You don't have to surrender everything. It doesn't have to be 24/7 or all areas of life. You can have limits and contracts and contract periods. None of that prevents you from that feeling of surrender, and it's part of what will make you feel safe as you get to know your dominant and very coldly decide whether and how much you can trust him. But since surrender is a feeling, you can fence in little safe areas where you can trust your domme enough to surrender to him, even as you're checking him out and waiting to decide what larger areas you can fence in, or whether you want to do away with the fences altogether. I haven't said a thing you don't already know, right?
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