Help...we need somebody

Help...we need somebody (Full Version)

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Elegant -> Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:03:00 AM)
(apologies to The Beatles for my butchered post title) A few quotes from various posts: quote: Make the slave all that they can be and then allow them to exceed that. In other words lead them towards a better and more full life quote: In what ways has your Dom/Domme/Master assisted you in improving your life as an individual? quote: help the slave flourish in her submission? quote: help the slave/sub with their understanding of themselves and their desires. quote: help the submissive reach that goal quote: I believe it is a Dom/me's responsibility to help the submissive capitalize on their strengths, to help them overcome their weaknesses and to help them blossom like a flower. My questions: Do Masters/Dominants enter into relationships perfect themselves? Do all Master/s/Dominants assume the slaves/submissives are lacking in these areas? Who helps the Masters/Dominants... Make them all that they can be and then allow them to exceed that lead them towards a better and more full life Improve their life as an individual flourish in their mastery with their understanding of themselves and their desires reach goals capitalize on their strengths, to help them overcome their weaknesses and to help them blossom like a flower. Why do so many people focus on 'improving' the slave/submissive but overlook improving the Dominant/Master?

Archer -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:05:06 AM)
And now you see why I collared this one so quickly a mind like that is an asset I needed to keep for myself, LOL.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:07:21 AM)
Cuz they prefer to put the sub in the passive/following type position. It makes them feel fuzzier. Plus, admitting the dom needs help, specially from their own slave, opens the door to questioning the doms decisions, which opens the door to questioning the doms ability to make good judgements, which opens the door to... Best to just nip that in the bud right off before the slave starts thinking too much and getting to the truth which will dissolve the tenuous foundation of the relationship. And finally- peer pressure. There's tremendous peer pressure for a dom to be strong and fabulous and for the sub to constantly be fawning and in awe of their dom in every way. Any sniff of something other than that can and often is manipulated and twisted apart in short order.

dawntreader -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:07:21 AM)
Great Thread!! i will be watching this one with interest!!!

peepeegirl5 -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:12:30 AM)
There are no "stable" partners. Therefore, collect a stable of partners. Love them, fix them, and promptly return them to the wild... Don't be a mooch/freeloader and don't let them be either. Born free ;)

RCdc -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:12:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elegant (My questions: Do Masters/Dominants enter into relationships perfect themselves? Not always - although there are probably those who believe in their own perfection. quote: Do all Master/s/Dominants assume the slaves/submissives are lacking in these areas? No. quote: Who helps the Masters/Dominants... (etc). Whoever they delegate that authority to. quote: Why do so many people focus on 'improving' the slave/submissive but overlook improving the Dominant/Master? That is an assumption that I have never seen based on facts as I know them. For example, our (Darcy and I) relationship is about self discovery on a mutual level. All healthy and productive relationships consider each person within that relationship. You have listed many quote about submissives on here, I have seen many recent posts on the enhancements of dominants as well. I think we see what we want to see alot of the time. Perception an all that. Peace the.dark.

MadRabbit -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:14:23 AM)
I dont think the majority of my posts follow in this White Knight type of mentality. Maybe some have without realizing it. I dont cosider it a question of the slave needing help or needing really anything from me.She was perfectly capable of functioning before I got there. I see someone entering a M/S relationship with me out of their own desire and need for fullfillment. But...none the less...there is authority transfer and I now have it so I have to have some kind of ethical compass as to what I am going to do with this authority. Its not so much as she needs me to improve her life, but rather that the decisions I make with the authority keep her life in the direction of improvement.

Archer -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:15:38 AM)
Along with that I'll be transparent here and tell the story (before Elegant does, LOL) I was pretty much a walflower when we met. Plenty of confidence in relationship ablity work, but socially a bit reserved (OK very reserved to the point of painfully reserved LOL). Elegant was very out there socially and this certainly influenced my evaluation of her as a good fit for my personal goals.

Adelphus -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:23:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elegant Who helps the Masters/Dominants... Make them all that they can be and then allow them to exceed that lead them towards a better and more full life Improve their life as an individual flourish in their mastery with their understanding of themselves and their desires reach goals capitalize on their strengths, to help them overcome their weaknesses and to help them blossom like a flower. I tried that with my ex, she didn't like it.;-p I think a lot of people entering the scene are told they have to appear perfect in every way to be a twue (sic) Dom, which is ridiculous. Being a dominant personaility doesn't automatically make you an all powerful god. If they were, why would they need me? Sort of ruins the 'exchange' part of power exchange. Personally I want a real person with faults and whatnot and can accept they have them, otherwise I WILL question their ability to make decisions. Delusion helps no one. Besides, it's easy to dominate fears in someone else, it takes a hell of a lot more power to face demons within one's self, AND to let someone help you with them. That's power I can follow. Hey Archer, you're a lucky guy.;-)

AlphaMaster666 -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:23:37 AM)
Actually that question would have many different answers. Personally I keep myself as a Master and Owner on a persoanl never ending quest to better my self as I require my slaves and property to do the same. It is human nature to be better then what you are. If a slave cant grow with the Master then the slave has grown out of use.

Archer -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:24:55 AM)
YEP have to agree there. I stumbled on a good slave and was smart enough to slap a collar on her before anyone else saw what I saw in her.

Dnomyar -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:25:05 AM)
Archer did you give Elegant a wedgie. All relationships are a learning experience. You learn from each other and work together toward your goals.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:26:52 AM)
A) I don't think we can deny that the stereotype exists and that many people try to play to the stereotype that the sub needs help while the dom is great and simply gives order. B) This thread is starting to sound like Archer's excuse to tell us all how great Elegant is- not that it's not a great thing, but maybe off topic?

AquaticSub -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:31:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elegant Do Masters/Dominants enter into relationships perfect themselves? Do all Master/s/Dominants assume the slaves/submissives are lacking in these areas? Who helps the Masters/Dominants... Make them all that they can be and then allow them to exceed that lead them towards a better and more full life Improve their life as an individual flourish in their mastery with their understanding of themselves and their desires reach goals capitalize on their strengths, to help them overcome their weaknesses and to help them blossom like a flower. Why do so many people focus on 'improving' the slave/submissive but overlook improving the Dominant/Master? Because so many refuse to accept that owners are imperfect beings. Valyraen is not perfect. It does not make me less submissive or less owned to acknowledge what is merely a fact of life. There are things at which I excel and he doesn't. I'm social butterfly, he isn't. I've often coaxed him into going someplace as part of a social group only to have him thank me for doing so later. Where he is content to stay at home, I am not and he is glad that I am not, because these outings enrich his life. I do improve his life. I add to it. I make him laugh and I remind him of the innocence in life that I still see. He is much more jaded than I am. I jump into things feet first and see where I land. He is more cautious. As far as flourishing in their mastery... I think it is safe to say that he may never have tried this as a lifestyle if not for me. It was in his relationship with me that he realized his desire to own and control and have it be a good thing. Aqua

YourShyPet -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:32:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Archer Along with that I'll be transparent here and tell the story (before Elegant does, LOL) I was pretty much a walflower when we met. Plenty of confidence in relationship ablity work, but socially a bit reserved (OK very reserved to the point of painfully reserved LOL). Elegant was very out there socially and this certainly influenced my evaluation of her as a good fit for my personal goals. This is very much like me and my Daddy... he's always been very reserved in public... and there has been times in the past when he has just withdrawn from going out into social situations... and I'm a social psychotic butterfly LOL... put me in a room full of people, and I'm in heaven flitting around ... it's one of the things that attracted him to me ... and the first couple years we knew each other we would go out... and he would pick a spot at the party or the bar and just watch me interact... more recently he's expressed more of a desire to get out... go dancing... go to parties... etc... so I would think .... that it can go both ways. kittin

Archer -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:34:12 AM)
OK OK LA I'll stop with the gushing, LOL.

MadRabbit -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:35:07 AM)
And since we're getting into negative stereotypes... If I wanted to take the time, I could go threw a ton of profiles and posts and make clips of statements like... "I am looking for a Daddy who knows whats best." "I need someone with a stern hand who will discipline me and help me improve." "I need someone to tell me what to do and make decisions for me." "I am looking for a Daddy who will take care of his little girl." "I obey and follow my Master because he knows whats best." Then I could probably go here and ask the questions... What is so wrong with all these submissives that they need to find someone to improve thier lives? If all these submissives and slaves are such independent, mature, and consenting adults, then why do they need to find other people to make decisions for them?

sleazybutterfly -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:35:15 AM)
I feel like it's my place to help M out. I know that he holds onto the past a lot. I am sure I get compared to ones that have done him wrong a hundred times a week. I think that all of us need the support of someone in our lives in some form or another whether we want to admit it or not. I would love if M could just come to me and feel like he could open up about things that are bothering him. It doesn't show weakness, it shows great strength and trust. That is what relationships are for (IMO), it's to help us grow more into ourselves everyday..to have the support, love, caring, and strength of the person next to us. It doesn't mean we need fixed, just enhanced.

drawntothedark -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:36:20 AM)
I would hope that when two people come together that postive things happen on both sides. I know that from our relationship it's what we want.

MadRabbit -> RE: Help...we need somebody (6/14/2007 11:37:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Archer Along with that I'll be transparent here and tell the story (before Elegant does, LOL) I was pretty much a walflower when we met. Plenty of confidence in relationship ablity work, but socially a bit reserved (OK very reserved to the point of painfully reserved LOL). Elegant was very out there socially and this certainly influenced my evaluation of her as a good fit for my personal goals. I am very much anti social. I prefer my books to people anyday. This is why I like the person I am seeing right now so much. She is more awake and open and social then I am.

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