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any advice for finding people my age that are into BDSM? - 6/14/2007 2:06:45 PM

surmatise

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All the websites I find have very few woman close to my age that are within a few years of me like 18-27 (I am 23). Is there a way to find out where my local munchs are and local places to meet people? Seems like everyone I see on a web site that seems like my type they are always like half the world away. when I do find listings for mid-Michigan meetings they are always well outdated. Tried alt.com, bdsmdatelink, bondage.com everyone of interest is either in another country or has not been on in months and dont reply to me.

< Message edited by surmatise -- 6/14/2007 2:07:53 PM >

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RE: any advice for finding people my age that are into ... - 6/14/2007 2:10:20 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: surmatise

All the websites I find have very few woman close to my age that are within a few years of me like 18-27 (I am 23). Is there a way to find out where my local munchs are and local places to meet people? Seems like everyone I see on a web site that seems like my type they are always like half the world away. when I do find listings for mid-Michigan meetings they are always well outdated. Tried alt.com, bdsmdatelink, bondage.com everyone of interest is either in another country or has not been on in months and dont reply to me.

I would try munches and hit up the clubs that host bondage nights. You may not find a lasting relationship right away, but you will meet people and meet their friends and so on and you may just find somebody great that way.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 6/14/2007 2:16:28 PM >

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RE: any advice for finding people my age that are into ... - 6/14/2007 3:01:11 PM

starDF

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I know there are TNG (The Next Generation) grous in Ann Arbor and Grand Rapids (ages 18-35)
www.westmichigantng.org/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Annarbor_tng_kinksters/

Some of these groups don't exist but most do
http://www.michatohs.org/Educational.html

This yahoo group keeps up with all the local munches. I know some new ones just started in Lansing
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MichiganMunches/

There are a ton of activities in Michigan and from all the ones I've been to there is a wide variety of ages and lots of people to meet.

Good luck
Darkness Fallens star

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RE: any advice for finding people my age that are into ... - 6/14/2007 3:15:03 PM

aparootsa

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This is pretty much the case all over - yahoo (and probably google, etc) groups tend to have stronger local followings than these larger international sites. And once you find a few people, the live social networking takes off. People tend to know other people in the scene, and my experience has been that landing with a crowd that doesn't mesh with you will result in being introduced to a tangentially related crowd that does. If you're nice to people and engage enough that they know who you'd like.

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RE: any advice for finding people my age that are into ... - 6/14/2007 3:21:53 PM

littlesarbonn

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You might try getting yourself onto the KINK list (Kalamazoo bdsm group); you can find it by a simple google search. While the KINK munches themselves might be iffy on whether or not they're successful, the group does manage to offer a good community introduction for the area. I was living in Grand Rapids at the time, and while I had a few bad experiences in the beginning, had I stuck it out and devoted more time to it, I'm sure I could have found what I was seeking through that avenue. What I did discover (and this is just my experience, which doesn't mean it will be yours, whether that's good or bad) is that women tended to be more submissive than dominant in the Michigan groups, and more than once they were quite interested in me only until they found out I was a submissive, and then I became one of "them".

Good luck to you.

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RE: any advice for finding people my age that are into ... - 6/14/2007 4:57:28 PM

Trampler

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You may have to drive a ways to munches and such. And to a certain extent, littlesarbonn is right about there being more submissive women then switch or dominant. But participate in these forums, keep looking for new people in your area. Go to the munches, especially the tng, ( it is great to have those your age to discuss this lifestyle with!) and have fun!

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RE: any advice for finding people my age that are into ... - 6/14/2007 4:59:42 PM

littlesarbonn

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Trampler

You may have to drive a ways to munches and such. And to a certain extent, littlesarbonn is right about there being more submissive women then switch or dominant. But participate in these forums, keep looking for new people in your area. Go to the munches, especially the tng, ( it is great to have those your age to discuss this lifestyle with!) and have fun!

Yes, I agree. And I wanted to add that I wasn't trying to give a negative portrayal, but some of the concerns the OP should know so that he doesn't give up the pursuit because of some bad apples or bizarre experiences.

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RE: any advice for finding people my age that are into ... - 6/14/2007 6:05:19 PM

Trampler

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Well there are bad apples everywhere. Hopefully he didn't get that impression ethier, I love going to munches, have found alot of great friends!

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RE: any advice for finding people my age that are into ... - 6/14/2007 7:34:54 PM

surmatise

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I completely understand what you are saying about bad apples. Thanks for the advice. I only just recently started trying to find people into this sort of thing. I have been interested in BDSM since I was in high school but have always been affraid to show it for fear of people getting the wrong impression as I do think seing a sexy girl tied up is hot but dont want people to think I would force it.

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RE: any advice for finding people my age that are into ... - 6/14/2007 8:18:00 PM

AAkasha

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We've had lots of threads from younger people who are frustrated because older people seem to have cornered the market on kink events and clubs.

Good news: You are only getting OLDER! At the very least, you know your plight is a temporary one. Imagine the frustration for those older kinky people who wish they could be a part of the young crowd - it's not impossible to reverse aging.

Try alternative/gothic/industrial dance clubs. They cater to the 18 - 25 yr crowd, have a decent amount of fetish overtones and you may meet some cute goth girl who wants to experiment. Also work on your vanilla dating skills rather than remain alone until you get into your 30s!

Akasha

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RE: any advice for finding people my age that are into ... - 6/15/2007 12:19:32 AM

MaamJay

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I second AAkasha's ideas - I think it's very important to have good vanilla dating skills as a would-be Dom. You need to be confident in this arena (without being a sleazy over-confident ass of course!) so that you at least show you have some of your "shit together"! A potential sub might find it hard to trust a guy who's new at EVERYTHING ... whereas if your social skills are ticking along nicely, she might be willing to trust You as a newbie Dom to tie her up! Of course, it's important not to lead anyone on, don't let a girl think she's your one and only if she's vanilla and you know you would never be satisfied with that long term.

From your few posts thus far you come across as a rather nice but slightly shy young man, who, thank heavens, is willing to ask questions rather than rush blindly headlong into this exciting world! You sound a bit like how my Master must have been ... He started dreaming about bondage in early high school!!

Good luck!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: any advice for finding people my age that are into ... - 6/15/2007 2:26:51 PM

surmatise

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Yeah I understand the need to work on vanilla dateing skills. Id feel awckward asking a girl if she would let me tie her up when we just met. Its kind of a lose lose situation as It is something I would like eventually but dont want that to be the first question I ask when I meet a girl but if I dont find out and really get to know someone and it turns out they would never do such a thing. Anyway I am not exactly sure on what I want at the time. I think I am more of a switch than a dom because I do fantasize about a girl being in control on occasion. I dont consider myself a total goth as I dont wear all black or any complete goth type clothing but I do have goth traits such as my urge to write dark poetry and my lyrics are dark and twisted when I write music.

Anyway thanks for the replies. I will keep this information in mind while exploreing the world of bdsm.

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