Finding out Who You are Sub?Slave

Finding out Who You are Sub?Slave (Full Version)

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knees2you -> Finding out Who You are Sub?Slave (6/2/2005 1:20:21 AM)
I Found this in my E`mail not sure Who or where it came from~ Knowing When You've Become A Submissive -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- There comes a time when you truly know that you are finally at the stage of being a submissive. It isn’t something that comes to you all at once, but there you are one day, kneeling at the feet of your mistress and suddenly this wave of heat comes over you, and you realize for the first time ever that you can’t imagine ever wanting to be anywhere else. Your mistress could be saying something to you, possibly something very important, but for that instant, for that moment, nothing seems to matter because you’re buried in this rush of energy that consumes you like nothing has ever done before. You find that your mind is no longer your own. You can still think, but the thoughts seem almost out of your control. You see things in a totally different light, and that light is good. (Uh, any second now this is going to start sounding like scripture: "And then there was light, and it was good.") When you finally reach this point, you find yourself wondering what more you can do to please your mistress, what would make her happier, what little thing can make her day that much more pleasant. Sometimes you succeed, and you feel wonderful. Sometimes you don’t, and you feel terrible, but you keep trying because there’s no greater feeling than knowing that you’ve succeeded in making your mistress happy for just that one brief moment. You no longer find yourself interested in fulfilling your own fantasies, rather than those that she might have. She might never even tell you what her personal fantasies are, but you’ll feel such joy when you find yourself becoming a part of them that you’ll wonder why you ever had fantasies of your own to begin with. And when she does cater to your fantasies, as much as you’ll be overjoyed at experiencing such bliss, you know you’re at that stage when you actually feel guilty that she spent her time taking care of something you wanted instead of you taking care of everything that she might want. That’s when submission becomes real. It’s no more a “what can I get out of this relationship” type of thing. It means something more, much more. And once there, you’ll never experience another feeling like it again. It’s kind of like a drug that you want more and more. And once addicted, you may never be the same again. Sincerely, Ant

Jasmyn -> RE: Finding out Who You are Sub?Slave (6/2/2005 5:28:57 AM)
quote: You no longer find yourself interested in fulfilling your own fantasies, rather than those that she might have. She might never even tell you what her personal fantasies are, but you’ll feel such joy when you find yourself becoming a part of them that you’ll wonder why you ever had fantasies of your own to begin with. And when she does cater to your fantasies, as much as you’ll be overjoyed at experiencing such bliss, you know you’re at that stage when you actually feel guilty that she spent her time taking care of something you wanted instead of you taking care of everything that she might want. That resonnates with Me on soooo many levels, thank you for posting it. I often state "to learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." (I use the term 'slave' over 'sub', personal preference)... you want to give up total control to Me? Then trust Me to know what you the 'slave', 'my slave' needs best.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Finding out Who You are Sub?Slave (6/2/2005 5:55:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: knees2you You no longer find yourself interested in fulfilling your own fantasies, rather than those that she might have. Hmmm why shouldn't I be interested in fulfilling my own fantasies AND the Owners? quote: you know you’re at that stage when you actually feel guilty that she spent her time taking care of something you wanted instead of you taking care of everything that she might want. If you feel guilty I think that shows you haven't given up control fully- you haven't let go of the fact that SHE is in charge of the pleasure you get, and if she wants you to enjoy it, then you should enjoy it. That's more an insecurity than a sign of submission, IMO. quote: That’s when submission becomes real. It’s no more a “what can I get out of this relationship” type of thing. It means something more, much more. No I think it's still what you can get- it's just what you can get has become a lot more than you thought you could. No one stays in a relationship they don't feel is right for them.

perfection20005 -> RE: Finding out Who You are Sub?Slave (6/2/2005 6:31:24 AM)
I like what Emerald had to say on this subject. No one can stay in a relationship that isn't fulfulling to them. My Master likes to make sure that my fantasies are part of our world, as well as His. perfection

cellogrrlMK -> RE: Finding out Who You are Sub?Slave (6/2/2005 7:35:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: perfection20005 I like what Emerald had to say on this subject. No one can stay in a relationship that isn't fulfulling to them. My Master likes to make sure that my fantasies are part of our world, as well as His. quote: No one stays in a relationship they don't feel is right for them. I wouldn't say that is true in all cases. How many times do you (general "you", not "you" personally) hear about battered women who stay in their marriages/relationships because they are afraid to leave? I know that's not what we're talking about here, but the two above statements seemed to be pretty blanket to me. cello

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Finding out Who You are Sub?Slave (6/2/2005 7:43:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cellogrrlMK I wouldn't say that is true in all cases. How many times do you (general "you", not "you" personally) hear about battered women who stay in their marriages/relationships because they are afraid to leave? I know that's not what we're talking about here, but the two above statements seemed to be pretty blanket to me. cello They still stay because they feel it's the right thing to do- because they feel what they are scared of will happen if they leave so it's right to stay. They usually justify it as well- staying for the kids, staying because he will change, staying because they have nowhere to go, etc etc etc. Trust me, once they REALLY decide the right thing to do is leave, they leave. They might "know better" but inside they feel it's the right thing to stay until that point.

Jasmyn -> RE: Finding out Who You are Sub?Slave (6/3/2005 8:34:35 AM)
quote: You no longer find yourself interested in fulfilling your own fantasies, rather than those that she might have. quote: Hmmm why shouldn't I be interested in fulfilling my own fantasies AND the Owners? It actually says you no longer find yourself interested in fullfilling them. And goes on to say... quote: She might never even tell you what her personal fantasies are, but you’ll feel such joy when you find yourself becoming a part of them that you’ll wonder why you ever had fantasies of your own to begin with. Seems all positive to me. quote: And when she does cater to your fantasies, as much as you’ll be overjoyed at experiencing such bliss, you know you’re at that stage when you actually feel guilty that she spent her time taking care of something you wanted instead of you taking care of everything that she might want. quote: If you feel guilty I think that shows you haven't given up control fully- you haven't let go of the fact that SHE is in charge of the pleasure you get, and if she wants you to enjoy it, then you should enjoy it. That's more an insecurity than a sign of submission, IMO. IMO the guilt is derived from a sub realising the difference between selfish wants and absolute needs and is a positive reaction rather than a negative one....

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Finding out Who You are Sub?Slave (6/3/2005 8:48:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jasmyn quote: Hmmm why shouldn't I be interested in fulfilling my own fantasies AND the Owners? It actually says you no longer find yourself interested in fullfilling them. And goes on to say... quote: She might never even tell you what her personal fantasies are, but you’ll feel such joy when you find yourself becoming a part of them that you’ll wonder why you ever had fantasies of your own to begin with. Seems all positive to me. I don't really see any positivity or negativity in it- if people experience it and want that, that's great. But I don't think it's a "sign of finding out you are a sub/slave" With the Owner, I've had MORE creative and wonderful fantasies than I ever had before, he encourages me to have them and to act on them. quote: IMO the guilt is derived from a sub realising the difference between selfish wants and absolute needs and is a positive reaction rather than a negative one.... Even if their dom WANTS them to enjoy what they are getting, which they obviously do in this situation? By being guilty over that, it's saying the sub is putting their own feelings and desires (to give pleasure to the dom) OVER what the doms feelings and desires are (to give pleasure to the sub).

Jasmyn -> RE: Finding out Who You are Sub?Slave (6/3/2005 9:21:18 AM)
quote: I don't really see any positivity or negativity in it- if people experience it and want that, that's great. But I don't think it's a "sign of finding out you are a sub/slave" With the Owner, I've had MORE creative and wonderful fantasies than I ever had before, he encourages me to have them and to act on them. A fundamental difference being your fantasies have become what your dom needs and you acting on them is exactly what he wants. quote: IMO the guilt is derived from a sub realising the difference between selfish wants and absolute needs and is a positive reaction rather than a negative one.... quote: Even if their dom WANTS them to enjoy what they are getting, which they obviously do in this situation? By being guilty over that, it's saying the sub is putting their own feelings and desires (to give pleasure to the dom) OVER what the doms feelings and desires are (to give pleasure to the sub). I think you're getting ahead of things here... of course you don't want a sub to feel guilt over something you want them to enjoy. But its NOT about them feeling guilt over enjoying it. Its about them feeling guilty over their Mistress caring enough about them and putting her needs after theirs... its a humbling experience and very common dynamic in fem dom/male sub relationships... here is their Mistress leading by example, and he can't be selfless enough to keep thoughts of kissing her shoe out of his head for five minutes, as if serving her is all about tongue on leather. Guilt, in this instance humbling. And yes, does in this instance, lead to a deeper appreciation for the act of submission.

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Finding out Who You are Sub?Slave (6/3/2005 9:56:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jasmyn A fundamental difference being your fantasies have become what your dom needs and you acting on them is exactly what he wants. But they are still my fantasies, and I still want and enjoy them for myself. I am interested in fulfilling both the Owners fantasies AND my own. quote: I think you're getting ahead of things here... of course you don't want a sub to feel guilt over something you want them to enjoy. But its NOT about them feeling guilt over enjoying it. Its about them feeling guilty over their Mistress caring enough about them and putting her needs after theirs... its a humbling experience and very common dynamic in fem dom/male sub relationships... here is their Mistress leading by example, and he can't be selfless enough to keep thoughts of kissing her shoe out of his head for five minutes, as if serving her is all about tongue on leather. Guilt, in this instance humbling. And yes, does in this instance, lead to a deeper appreciation for the act of submission. I agree in this particular and specific context that it can lead to positive growth, but I still disagree with the original statement such that when you "feel guilty that she spent her time taking care of something you wanted instead of you taking care of everything that she might want" is "when submission becomes real." I agree with the overall tone of the post- understanding submission means understanding that someone's authority over you fulfills you, even to the point of dismissing your personal desires. But the specific wording and universal applications and conclusions are not good.

lionheart67 -> RE: Finding out Who You are Sub?Slave (6/3/2005 10:59:54 AM)
kneestoyou, I have read your post about submission and I agree 110% about the what you said.I really don't have anything else to add ,But thank you for reminding us all what submission is all about.

subtexxxt -> RE: Finding out Who You are Sub?Slave (6/13/2005 6:17:59 PM)
Thank you so much for articulating what this slave is starting to feel. It is so good to come here and share with the collarme.com community -- thank you again.

RiotGirl -> RE: Finding out Who You are Sub?Slave (6/14/2005 1:02:02 PM)
i loved the post = ) Thanks OP. i agree also 100% and think that it also reminds me of IE ~ internal enslavement. Both which being is O/our goal. Being odd as it sounds to me, i fantasize about my whole world centering around him. What pleases him. The day that i am at his feet and the only thoughts that are capable of coming in my head are "what would please him" "is he pleased" is the day i will rejoice, for i know it will be the day i truely find my submission. (Disclaimer - not that i dont alreayd feel those, but to the depth and extreme of NOTHING else entering my mind, to where everythingis obliterated, but his wants and desires.) Hopefully i articulated well. i think the OP says it all and i second it!

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Finding out Who You are Sub?Slave (6/14/2005 1:10:04 PM)
What about mothers and fathers? Should they no longer think or care about their children directly? Does it always need to always be about the master? Is it not submissive to think "wow I'd love that red dress" or "My son needs a ride home tomorrow"? Why can't one not put their owner first AND take care of one's own needs, other peoples needs, and desires at the same time? Life is a lot of things, the Owner might be the PRIMARY thing in my life, but he's far from the ONLY thing.

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