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Beware of the Mania - 6/14/2007 7:28:17 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Recently slavemaia shared a post about her new life with her Master and the frustration to be a good slave--and I think this is worth a post of its own--I call it the mania, the desire and the need to embrace the burning need that can exist inside a person when they realize what it is they are and want to be--I also site the case of a dear sub friend of Mine, who spent so much time searching for what he needed, he lost his job--extreme case? I doubt it--We are all humans in need of a sense of acceptance and a chance to be what we cannot be out there---beware of the mania:
 
 
defining you by someone elses standards
forcing yourself or your dynamic to fit in to a book's definition of what it should be
trying so hard, it isn't fun
forgettting that at the end of the day, we are all painfully human and real life intervenes
don't sacrifice the joy, the happiness,  the peace of this to be what you think someone else expects--
be what YOU want to be, define what makes YOU Happy, define between the two of you what you want.
 
 


_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

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RE: Beware of the Mania - 6/14/2007 7:36:22 PM   
Littlepita


Posts: 1430
Joined: 10/6/2005
Status: offline 		Great advice!

I'm one year and three months into my D/s relationship and defining what works for us has been the foundation of our progress in this lifestyle and with each other. It's easy to fall into the trap of being the perfect dom or sub and trying to label yourself by the standards you see in others. That doesn't work. You have to be true to yourself and then you can be true to the one your with.

Was that profound or am I just really sleepy?

_____________________________

“I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.” – Anais Nin

(in reply to MHOO314)
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RE: Beware of the Mania - 6/14/2007 7:37:40 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		thank god for this post.....and a rule i live by is: if it is not fun what the hell are you doing here?


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Service slut, durable plaything, and ponypenquincatdogpig, to Lee Harrington

This is him

"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




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RE: Beware of the Mania - 6/14/2007 8:08:56 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		I heard some very wise words on this subject from Master Skip Chasey.

Ask yourself:
1) Who am I?
2) What do I want?
3) What am I willing to pay to get it?

In answering questions #2 and #3, you will mostly likely (but not always) answer #1. If you can, however, answer #1, #2 and #3 become irrelevant.

Master Fire


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The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

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RE: Beware of the Mania - 6/14/2007 8:14:19 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Did anyone ever date or have personal interactions with others before they invented CM?

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RE: Beware of the Mania - 6/14/2007 8:24:48 PM   
Trampler


Posts: 580
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline 		apparently not

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RE: Beware of the Mania - 6/14/2007 11:11:50 PM   
dawntreader


Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

thank god for this post.....and a rule i live by is: if it is not fun what the hell are you doing here?



Exactly!!!

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It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

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RE: Beware of the Mania - 6/14/2007 11:17:49 PM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline 		Get ready for Monster Mashin Whip'em Beat'em up Spank'em Rough BDSM Mania... Sunday July 30th at.... blah blah blah...  tickets on sale at every kinky place imaginable..   you don't want to miss this event of the summer!!!

< Message edited by WhiplashSmile -- 6/14/2007 11:19:39 PM >

(in reply to MHOO314)
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RE: Beware of the Mania - 6/15/2007 12:57:43 AM   
DragonNphoenix


Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		I once asked my Master what he wanted me to be.  He said "I want you to be you and be the best you that you can be."  So, everyday i strive to be the best me that I can and in turn be the best slave that i can be.
 
1st girl Phoenix

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**Pain is just pleasure with a twist**

(in reply to MHOO314)
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RE: Beware of the Mania - 6/15/2007 4:24:46 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

Did anyone ever date or have personal interactions with others before they invented CM?


I often wonder the same thing. 


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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to domiguy)
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RE: Beware of the Mania - 6/15/2007 6:16:16 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Did anyone ever date or have personal interactions with others before they invented CM?


Yep, sure did... still do.

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Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

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RE: Beware of the Mania - 6/15/2007 7:12:24 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		There was a time before CM?

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Beware of the Mania - 6/15/2007 7:25:47 AM   
subinsouth


Posts: 55
Joined: 6/20/2006
Status: offline 		I call it the mania, the desire and the need to embrace the burning need that can exist inside a person. . ... . ..
 
i have both desire and need for the acceptance.  i have found myself lately being 'swept away' more easily, jumping at chances in hopes of finding 'the One' for  me.   
 
thank you for this posting ~ i need  to step back and regroup.
 
i am worthy of sooooo much more.
 
 
 


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may it be for me as You will

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RE: Beware of the Mania - 6/15/2007 7:36:25 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

Recently slavemaia shared a post about her new life with her Master and the frustration to be a good slave--and I think this is worth a post of its own--I call it the mania, the desire and the need to embrace the burning need that can exist inside a person when they realize what it is they are and want to be--I also site the case of a dear sub friend of Mine, who spent so much time searching for what he needed, he lost his job--extreme case? I doubt it--We are all humans in need of a sense of acceptance and a chance to be what we cannot be out there---beware of the mania:
 
 
defining you by someone elses standards
forcing yourself or your dynamic to fit in to a book's definition of what it should be
trying so hard, it isn't fun
forgettting that at the end of the day, we are all painfully human and real life intervenes
don't sacrifice the joy, the happiness,  the peace of this to be what you think someone else expects--
be what YOU want to be, define what makes YOU Happy, define between the two of you what you want.
 
 



Sometimes you come across someone who makes you stop and think.  Your words there..... are.... deep.

I think thus far... subinsouth has said it best... Which is exactly what I'm doing.

Thank you MHOO... hugggss... praises... And a fresh martini waiting for you when you want it...

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to MHOO314)
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RE: Beware of the Mania - 6/15/2007 8:15:12 AM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline 		Thank You, MH - what a wonderful post. Well i went from sub frenzy to slave mania  LOL. (hmmm interesting how closely my name maia and mania are).
 
It's easy to want everything to be so perfect and then i have to remember, there's no such thing. Like the old saying "one person's heaven is another person's hell". There's alot going on right now in getting adjusted to O/our new life together. And Your advice is excellent. i'm going to print it out and hang it up as a reminder for when i find myself getting too intense, too serious, too focused on Him and U/us and forget all i am, all i was before Him and that being a slave is just a word and it can be defined however i choose. i'm laughing more already and thinking "hey everybody's f**ked up in some way so what the heck". i make the mistake of thinking everyone else has it all together and i just have to catch up somehow. OY.
 
Hugs to You - You're an angel in my life.

_____________________________


She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to MHOO314)
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RE: Beware of the Mania - 6/15/2007 6:19:25 PM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

thank god for this post.....and a rule i live by is: if it is not fun what the hell are you doing here?



Hello crouchingtigress. Fun?...hum...brillant! The most "overlooked" motivation, joy, fun. RL.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)
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RE: Beware of the Mania - 6/15/2007 6:41:39 PM   
Masochist444


Posts: 24
Joined: 4/11/2007
Status: offline 		I think that we have lost so much when the Old Guard Protocals were by passed for the new ways of doing BDSM.  In the past there was a great empahsis on self control and to some degree a more balanced lifestyle.  People more rarely talked about TPE and 24/7 lifestyles.  They were more accepting of part time relationships in this world and I find that many new people take risks that they regret later.  Just becasue we play and live in this world, it does not mean that we turn off our brains.  What happened to common sense?  We need to better understand how endorphins affect us and our decision making process.  We also need to know how to choose what we want and what we don't want in our lives.  And just becasue a top wants something, it does not mean that the bottom has to provide it...what ever happened to negotiations?

15-20 years ago in this community we had support for those of us who needed help and we even had mentors who assisted us.  I find myself increasingly frustrated by the way we have chosen to set up our community of late and wonder how we ended up with a world where people talk about a 'mania' and how getting caught up in playing too much has destroyed part of their life.  In my world playing enriches and makes me more whole.  I guess it is how I came into this community that makes the difference.

(in reply to robertolapiedra)
Profile   Post #: 17
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