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angry? - 6/2/2005 6:16:57 PM

RiotGirl

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i was reading the gift of tears and Ginger said something that made me sit back and say "Hey, maybe thats normal" So i thought i'd open up a topic about it and find more answers.

Ginger said (and i hope you dont mind me quoting):

quote:

Regardless, the more he whipped me the more I felt...I mean, I ran through a gamut of emotions- I sometimes giggle during a spanking, then I got irritated, then angry, then REALLY angry.

i also run through tons of emotions. Mostly different ones mind you, but with one common one. Anger. i get soooooooo angry, that sometimes i feel like i'd like to Rip his head off of his shoulders. Once he bit my vagina and i went to such a deeeeep anger.... my voice changed, to where i was growling while i was talking and i have no clue what i was saying. Though i think it was along the lines of what i was going to do if he didnt stop. During being caned, or whipped it can run through fear, fighting, flight, tears, indifference, but then anger. Usually the main two consistant feelings are "i've got to do something to stop this RIGHT NOW" or "i'm going to rip your head off" Which are usually only during intense things.

Does anyone else get angry? Really Angry? Can anyone explain why being caned or whipped runs us through such a gauntlet of emotions? Can anyone explain these emotions?

And the even stranger thing, is when its all done, i usually cry and feel at such peace. i feel more submissive i suppose? Master says i find my place through pain. Still its wierd and i was wondering if anyone out there could explain it?

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RE: angry? - 6/2/2005 6:37:12 PM

Isolde

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I'm not a doctor, or an expert on reactions to whippings, but that sounds like a typical fight or flight reflex to me. It isn't a conscious reaction. It's similar to the gasp reflex in which your body will eventually force you to breathe if you hold your breath long enough, whether you want it to or not; it can and will hit when you're subjected to a certain level of stress whether you think it's a suitable reaction or not.

Edit: Oh, and I forgot to add...the feeling of release and crying afterwards also sounds familiar; I've heard similar symptoms being attributed to coming down from an adrenaline high. Pain releases endorphins into your system (I'm told) and as they dissipate, they can leave you feeling drained afterwards.

< Message edited by Isolde -- 6/2/2005 6:40:14 PM >

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RE: angry? - 6/2/2005 8:50:23 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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Yup I get angry sometimes. When I just want it to END, when I just HATE what's going on, when all those emotions rush up...subspace and scene headspace is not rational, expect anything and everything.

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RE: angry? - 6/3/2005 6:03:25 AM

perfection20005

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I also go thru all those emotions. I think that Isolde is right when she says its the "fight or flight" response. Its normal for people to get angry when something is being done that they don't want done, even if thats what we do in this lifestyle.
I think the crying helps us release the rest of the emotions that we feel. It puts an end to the emotional high.

perfection

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RE: angry? - 6/4/2005 1:57:48 PM

RiotGirl

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Heh, yeah i've thought it fight or flight. Knowing i cant fight, i usually end up trying for flight. We work alot on mental restraint. Which is terribly hard. LOL i'd rather be tied up tightly.......

Emerald have you ever experienced wanting it to end so MUCH and then it ending and you wanting it to continue? Feeling like, i dunno... that you just wish it wasnt over? (always a turbulant of emotions that come rushing after...)

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RE: angry? - 6/4/2005 9:24:53 PM

EmeraldSlave2

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Sure, remember what I said- scene headspace is NOT rational.

I HATE pain, but 20 minutes after the scene is over, I'm THRILLED that I did it and sorry to miss that connection, it's a type of sub drop.

YOu can both love and hate something at the same time.

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RE: angry? - 6/5/2005 3:17:57 AM

ElektraUkM

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(warning, this might sound like psychobabble and i have no qualifications ~ just going on experience!)

I've never been angry during a session. However, before I got into BDSM I was involved in an abusive relationship, following which I had a lot of therapy. During the course of this therapy I took up Yoga and several other practices, just for the hell of it. During Some of those practices i found myself releasing a lot of anger (and other emotions) that must have been locked up inside for Years!!

I would guess that any sort of activity that allows you to release anger, will result in that happening... if the time is right. What i'm saying is... the fact that anger has happened during a scene may be nothing whatever to do with the fact it's a scene or BDSM linked at all.

Just a thought to consider.

~ Elektra

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RE: angry? - 6/5/2005 8:31:12 AM

RiotGirl

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quote:

You can both love and hate something at the same time.

yes, i'm finding that more and more true.

quote:

Just a thought to consider.

Its definetly an interesting thought. When i got out of an abusive relationship, i went through a period of time where i was really violent and destructive. (hey i was 19, i didnt know what the heck to do with myself) i'd toss furniture off 2 story buildings, walk around and break windows, got in a couple of fights with cops, got into it with a few people, leveled my own apartment with a base ball bat, tried to level this other man's apartment as well. Of course, i'd of fought him and lost if it wasnt for a neighbor who held me back. Of course i've very good reasons for all of it, but i've had alot of people do crappy things before (and since) and i've never reacted like that.

i'd think i got all the anger out = ) But maybe its still like a release of emotions. Thats a good theory. Still doesnt account for why it changes headspace all around.

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RE: angry? - 6/7/2005 8:27:59 AM

KittieSummers

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I've only recently become a sub (well compared to most people on here, to me it seems like ages) so I haven't really had much experiance. However, I have found that I don't get angry during punishments. I concentrate on the pain, concentrate on enduring, and look forward to the 'punishment over' hug I always get afterwards. I think in the back of my mind I am always remembering that if I struggle against my punishment I may not get my hug, or I may get a longer punishment, or another one. The only emotion I have during a punishement is shame, as far as i know. I have never been angry during one as i know I deserve it. If I do get angry, it is towards myself.

_____________________________

Kittie ~ honoured to be Hers...

Don't try to be a great sub, just be a sub and let history make it's own judgements.

Blessed Be

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RE: angry? - 6/7/2005 5:58:48 PM

fourpeas

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Anger is an interesting emotion. I find myself sometimes getting angry over a lot of practicalities. Mostly I get angry with myself for being so afraid and fearful of a lot of the things that I am afraid and fearful of. For me, most of the time, anger is linked with fear.

Sometimes I also get angry over things where there is a really fine line between the kind of "being taken advantage of" that I crave and things that I'm not okay with, that is a fine line and sometimes it's hard for me to determine where that line begins/ends... seems like a lot of people are saying things on this board that I am echoing...

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RE: angry? - 6/29/2005 12:15:09 PM

Hissweetshiv

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I haven't gotten angry during a spanking yet - then again, as i posted elsewhere, i get good-girl spankings, not punishment spankings, lol. I HAVE experienced the "make it stop - why'd You quit" cycle though. Again, scene headspace doesn't come close to rational - yet another great reason to negotiate beforehand.

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RE: angry? - 6/29/2005 12:55:12 PM

Mylee

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I go through those emotions too, and He sees them and watches them, I think those emotions all happen for me right before I give my will over to Him and then surrender it all, for me without all those mixed emotions (for me its fear, embarrassemnt and humiliation then anger) make that moment when I give in all the better, once I feel them and let them all go, something soft inslde me takes over it's like yielding of my total will and then I float, I'm lifted high and a peace washes over me, there are times when I dont run those gamet of emotions and it's in the times when I dont run them that I'm not lifted as high, I seem to need to feel all of that other stuff before I can truely be that soft sweetness inside...

~my'lee

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