chiaThePet -> RE: Testosterone overload vs: REAL worship. (6/16/2007 10:05:36 PM)
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Dearest YesMistressIrish, i think that the simple and prevelent sway which tries to define me in terms as what i am, or what i am supposed to be, probably just disappoints me at times. i know why i am a submissive, i live it everyday, always have, always will. There are many Women in my life whom i adore and worship, i am taken by Their strength and power, They garner complete awe from me. i would in a sense, surrender to Their wishes and desires in an instant. i have never been a boy whom wishes to say such things as, "i'll do 'anything' You ask of me, because i know i won't, some have requirements i know i could not adhere to. i am compelled within to please and be pleasing, it has always been necessity for me, i just needed that clarification from an authority figure. My journey for the most part has been limited to specific exposures, i have tried to keep such in perspective to my own feelings and emotions, though i have certainly fallen often along the way. Some whom think they completely know me, actually don't know me at all. CM has been a different experience than i have been used to. Here, i have sensed an allowance to be somewhat more open in my thoughts and responses than the situations i have been privy to in the past. i do push the envelope here, and to be honest, it allows me to vent some of that pent up emotion which up to now has been kept below the surface, that i should always please and be pleasing. i most certainly have a lighter side, and love to show such. Some may view this as disrespect, this saddens me frankly. If i'm simply sharing a sense of humor, take it as such, because if you simply slap me, i might not just lay down and die. i don't want anyone to think that because they are called a specific something, that they get to automatically treat me any way they wish. i am also sorting out the discovery of so many Dominants whom are actually switches, or have subbed themselves. i'm not sure of all my feelings related to such yet, but on the outset, this is affecting my pattern of thought toward them. i see a lot of overreaction here i must say. I'ts a train wreck, it's been hijacked, how could he, how dare she, oh the humanity, God it seems people here love to tramatize simple subjects and exchange. How can i share feelings about something if i have to tip toe around the dooms day brigade. Sometimes i just want to scream at the top of my lungs, "God what a bunch of pussies". i am serious here not simply being sarcastic. Get a backbone for crying out loud. It seems i can say things with meaning a thousand times, and some here will never hear it or never get it. That's fine, to each his own. But if you come on board and ask me a question, i don't even care if it's to try and make me look the idiot, and i respond with genuine thought, give me the courtesy of at least letting me know you read it and hated it or liked it. Cause next time, i'll just past you right on by. Then i'll be the bad guy again. Talk to me, and it doesn't always have to be critical, thank you. i'm far from perfect, i know this, instead of rubbing it in and sticking your nose in the air, tell me what would make me shine in your eyes, cause if you just keep slapping me, it serves only to feed my testosterone reactions. Respectfully, chia* (the pet)
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