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Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 2:00:23 PM   
ACuriousSoul


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/16/2007
Status: offline 		Hello everyone. I was just curious what everyone's opinion is regarding criminal history. Is it a partner's right to know? Is it a Master's or Mistress' right to know? A boyfriend's, girlfriend's? Husband's, wife's? Friend's? Where is the line in which it isn't the buisness of another? Isn't it a safety issue? If a Master or Mistress owns a slave, shouldn't this mean they own all of them, their history as well as future?

I created this profile to ask some questions, such as this. Thanks for all opinions!
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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 2:09:06 PM   
littlesarbonn


Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline 		My belief, and it's only mine, is that yes, it is a partner's right to know the other partner's criminal history. But it's not just about safety, which yes, is very important but also so that some bizarre event doesn't happen that throws the person off completely, like a parole officer showing up and harassing the unknowing partner out of the blue because they happen to share an apartment or something like that. The line for me is where there happens to be a close intimate relationship. I'm not sure I'd include "friends" in the category, although others might.

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(in reply to ACuriousSoul)
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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 2:15:44 PM   
ACuriousSoul


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/16/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you very much for your input. That is pretty much my view of it. I just got a bit thrown off by someone claiming their history is in the past and that they will never tell anyone, no matter who they are about some things they have been through. While in their past, it is still part of what brought them to where they are, and may still have some kind of effect on their living. Also, while not something that needs to be talked about as a common topic, it should at least be known within a more than casual relationship, in my opinion.

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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 2:16:09 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		Yes, it is my right to know everything about the person to whom I hand care for my heart, my health and my happiness. just as they have the right to know everything about me.

They have the right not to give me that information, and I have the right to terminiate the relationship.



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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 2:26:05 PM   
BlackKnight


Posts: 767
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Depends on your aggreement, after all there is the 'parameters of this kind of relationship' thing goin on here.
In a normal 'vanilla' relationship that would be a Hell yeah! but we're dealing with many different flavors here.
and just because you care for me emensily doesn't mean you have to know. all about the parameters we agree upon from the beginning,
watch where you tred. careful of what doors you open, and close, what paths you walk.

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'Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.'
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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 2:34:18 PM   
MasternAtl


Posts: 7
Joined: 5/17/2007
Status: offline 		In my opinion... it only matters if you really want to pursue a relationship.  Failure to disclose is just as good as lieing about it.  In my book... that is grounds for terminating the relationship.  I could overlook someone's past, depending on the situation and what criminal act was committed.  But I will not overlook someone lieing too me.  People make mistakes all the time, but be up front about it.  That's not to say you disclose on the first date/meeting/whatever... but before things get serious, you should come clean about it.

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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 2:37:52 PM   
MasterHyde


Posts: 127
Joined: 4/10/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

I just got a bit thrown off by someone claiming their history is in the past and that they will never tell anyone, no matter who they are about some things they have been through.


If this someone is courting you, then he needs to be a bit more open about his past. At the point where he expects you to submit to him, to be owned by him, with all of the trust that requires, he is seriously impairing your ability to do that if he is not willing to answer personal questions about his past. It just casts a suspicious cloud over him, and trust does not thrive in that environment.


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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 2:47:04 PM   
BlackKnight


Posts: 767
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with you assessment MasternAtl, but again it depends on your rules, your disclosing your needs(rules) as the 'relationship' progresses.
hence the word 'relationship'. Kinda goes along with the respect thing too I guess.
If your a sub and you meet someone and you care about such things, then you need to go slow, investigate, and stress the need to know these things.

_____________________________

'Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.'
Life of Reason, Reason in Common Sense, Scribner's, 1905, page 284"
George Santayana

Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get me!

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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 2:50:16 PM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline 		<fast reply>

One of those yes and no questions.

Yes, specially if like previously stated on parole or probation and an officer of the court shows up getting nosey etc....

No depending on what the offense was...how long ago it happened.

Yes I would like to know if it was domestic violence etc....

Damn straight I want to know if it was murder related and or drugs.

No I don't care you stole a car when you was 17 and you're 45 now.

It all depends on what you really want to know. But make damn sure you really want to know that answer...before you ask the question. 

Hense another reason why jumping too quickly into relationships with out talking for longer periods of time is not my style. There's time to meet others that know this person. Ways of checking out stories without them knowing it. On line searches, and other ways of checking too.  Because lets' face it... you ask certain questions... you're gonna be lied to. Even if they've not lied to you before. It all depends on the question and what they're willing to own up to. 

Is it your right to know... probably.. is it their duty to tell you... no, not really. Another  one of those yes and no answers to this question.

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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 2:50:54 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I think if you can click expert in beating ass on your profile, you can certainly tell someone you are considering intimacy with about your degree in criminal history.


John Galbreath 

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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 2:51:05 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		How does one define criminal history? 

< Message edited by SimplyMichael -- 6/16/2007 3:41:12 PM >

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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 2:52:40 PM   
Areflectionofyou


Posts: 258
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline 		i absolutely think its my right to know if my partner has a criminal record. I was collared to a complete con artist who had a criminal record, his whole life was a scam. Leaving facts like this out is a clear deception .

(in reply to ACuriousSoul)
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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 3:00:38 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

<fast reply>

One of those yes and no questions.

Yes, specially if like previously stated on parole or probation and an officer of the court shows up getting nosey etc....

No depending on what the offense was...how long ago it happened.

Yes I would like to know if it was domestic violence etc....

Damn straight I want to know if it was murder related and or drugs.

No I don't care you stole a car when you was 17 and you're 45 now.

It all depends on what you really want to know. But make damn sure you really want to know that answer...before you ask the question. 

Hense another reason why jumping too quickly into relationships with out talking for longer periods of time is not my style. There's time to meet others that know this person. Ways of checking out stories without them knowing it. On line searches, and other ways of checking too.  Because lets' face it... you ask certain questions... you're gonna be lied to. Even if they've not lied to you before. It all depends on the question and what they're willing to own up to. 

Is it your right to know... probably.. is it their duty to tell you... no, not really. Another  one of those yes and no answers to this question.


Exactly how I feel, what do I care if he was arrested for shoplifting with some friends when he was 15. I mean chances are when talking about our historties something like that may come out simply because many teens do things like that and talking in passing just might bring it up, but it isnt something you say when your starting a relationship like you might tell them you are Bi poler or have been abused or have some disability. 

something like that is also easy to forget about(i mean beeing arrested at 15 for something small) or not think importent to tell and if I later found out I wouldnt think of it as a lie so much as an oversight, I mean as much as you try you arent able to tell everything about yourself all at once that is the beauty of a relationship the unfolding.

However bigger things like long jail sentences for anything really Id want to know because those things you dont just forget about or think unimportenet and not telling me about those I would see as lieing, plus knowing things like that may effect if I want a relationship like this or not with that person and not telling me those things means even if I consent Im not really consenting because I dont know all the facts that would cause me not to want to consent!! Hope that makes sence.

Magik's slave

< Message edited by MagiksSlave -- 6/16/2007 3:05:08 PM >

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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 3:04:42 PM   
BossyShoeBitch


Posts: 3931
Joined: 1/13/2007
From: South Florida
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ACuriousSoul

Hello everyone. I was just curious what everyone's opinion is regarding criminal history. Is it a partner's right to know? Is it a Master's or Mistress' right to know? A boyfriend's, girlfriend's? Husband's, wife's? Friend's? Where is the line in which it isn't the buisness of another? Isn't it a safety issue? If a Master or Mistress owns a slave, shouldn't this mean they own all of them, their history as well as future?

I created this profile to ask some questions, such as this. Thanks for all opinions!

In my opinion, right or wrong, if they are my partner, whether they tell me or not, I am going to know. 
Right to privacy, blah blah blah.. I don't really give a shit.
If it's anything that could potentially have any impact on my um's or me, I want to know.
The truth is, I'm that scary kind of chick that can find out anything about anyone I need to. (Not to be confused with Psycho-Bitch from hell.)

I'm not nuts.  Just safe.

-Umm.. I hope that wasn't too intense.


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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 3:06:58 PM   
HaveRopeWillBind


Posts: 514
Joined: 7/15/2006
Status: offline 		If you are going to share a residence then yes, such history should be disclosed. If you are claiming ownership the same applies. Otherwise if you are limited to a part time or play partners type relationship it's up to you what you choose to disclose about yourself based on the intimacy of the relationship.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)
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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 3:08:47 PM   
ACuriousSoul


Posts: 3
Joined: 6/16/2007
Status: offline 		There truly is very little which would make an impact on my desire to continue a relationship. We have all had our ups and downs, some merely more drastic than others. The thing which would bother me is the lack of honesty and openess. Tell me what you did, we're all good and I don't need to know details unless we both feel like having a good laugh or learning experience. However, I do feel the need to know.

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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 3:27:22 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		As long as you frame the question in terms of rights, you'll never get a useful answer.  Rights are for constitutions and political philosophies.  They don't apply to personal relationships.

Just ask yourself a simpler question.  Would you WANT to know?  Your answer is your answer.  That's all there is to it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ACuriousSoul

Hello everyone. I was just curious what everyone's opinion is regarding criminal history. Is it a partner's right to know?

(in reply to ACuriousSoul)
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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 3:45:37 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		You have to ask a question like that?? Oh hell yeah!

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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 3:52:04 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

As long as you frame the question in terms of rights, you'll never get a useful answer.  Rights are for constitutions and political philosophies.  They don't apply to personal relationships.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster


This is what I was getting at . Rights are hypothetical they do not guarantee an action in reality.

I have the RIGHT to ask my partner anything, but as they have the RIGHT to refuse me - they are not bound to answer.

In discussions of rights there is also a discussion of responsibilities. Each right we possess is balanced with a responsibility. I have the right to frredom of speech, I have a responsibility to understand the implications of what I might say. In reality however many of us expect our rights without an undertsanding of the counterbalancing responsibility. 

anyway .. i will stop hijacking now.

< Message edited by softness -- 6/16/2007 3:53:02 PM >

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proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





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RE: Is it a partner's right to know criminal history? - 6/16/2007 4:35:14 PM   
Viridana


Posts: 754
Status: offline 		It would depend on the crime for me. Yes I'd definately want to know before the relationship becomes serious if the guy has a murder, rape, child molestation, domestic violence or serious drug convictions on his record.  But I don't care so much about minor offences. If I wasn't told about this beforehand I'd feel very used and violated. 

< Message edited by Viridana -- 6/16/2007 4:36:33 PM >

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