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RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in D/s? maybe poly can solve the problem?


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RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in ... - 6/17/2007 7:29:59 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Ok... the cold hard truth of the world is: Most relationships fail.

It doesn't matter the lifestyle. It doesn't matter the orientation. Most relationships fail, or at least come to an end.

I would say D/s relationships have exactly the same chance of succeeding as vanilla relationships. Which isn't very good. The question is: Are you willing to take the chance and get hurt?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Renal)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in ... - 6/17/2007 8:31:24 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Ds is no better or worse than the every day world. There are plenty of relationships in the vanilla world that last weeks or months. What makes either kinds of relationship last is pretty simple. Find someone who matches you, be in the relationship because you love them not because they love you, be open and honest about your feelings...and practice forgivenss and compassion for yourself as well as your mate.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Renal)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in ... - 6/17/2007 9:27:04 PM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Renal

Its more like a game even if its in a D/s relationship, people who are into D/s crave for stimulation(physically and mentally) more than anything, obviously a life time commitment relaitonship cant offer this kind of excitement, so its not uncommon to see D/s relationships fail in a couple of years or months while the fresh stimulation is no more existing.
Its sad to me, as Im a sub, and I do want a life time commitment in D/s, which seems very unrealistic.
maybe being poly can kind of solve the problem, when being in a bigger family, Doms always feel a lot better, and subs wont be replaced too quickly.
Im not sure if its the fact, Im new here, and I havent had a Dom. so feel free to oppose to me... hehe...


Sure, there are people looking for the 'sugar high.'  As suggested, that's no different from the real world.  Poly doesn't solve anything here, because the focus ceases to be on improving the quality of interaction with your partners, and instead aims to achieve more and greater sugar highs.  This also happens in vanilla relationships (the serial daters, the womanizers, etc.)  The sort of poly you describe would actually add to the problem, since the relationships would inherently be superficial, flawed, and ultimately doomed.

Think of it this way; I love rollercoasters.  I wouldn't want to marry one (god knows I dated a few though.)  I can certainly find a relationship with a woman who shares my enthusiasm for 'rollarcoasters', but still possesses the qualities that make her worth sharing time and love with, like riding the rollarcoasters together.

Stephan


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Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to Renal)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in ... - 6/17/2007 10:27:53 PM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		The sad truth is that 50% of all marraiges in the US end in divorce.  That is a human condition having not much to do with D/s.  Some people  make it work in the long run. Some do not.  And I think that crosses all walks of life.  Not all of us are in this primarily for "excalating excitement".  Find someone compatible.  It is possible.

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to Renal)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Is it unrealistic to have a lifetime commitment in ... - 6/17/2007 11:16:21 PM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		It is not unrealistic at all.
It is also a good thing to strive for.
But as in all relationships it takes work on both sides

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to Renal)
Profile   Post #: 25
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