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"Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 10:05:57 AM   
Supernatural


Posts: 26
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline 		Hello all. This is a twist on my original question but just as important. To a Dominant, is there a red flag raised if you find out that the sub/slave you are talking with has had several Dominants or ‘Masters’ in their past? Should this be an issue? … Why or why not …

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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 10:08:58 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		It depends more on the time frame.  But high numbers would be a note put on the clipboard.

I think it's the obvious- past history can be the best predictor of future history.  Getting into commitments and out of them quickly could show a lack of stability, security, or good judgement.

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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 10:10:29 AM   
yrstocollar


Posts: 95
Joined: 8/14/2006
Status: offline 		As usual... what LA said!

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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 10:12:37 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It depends more on the time frame. But high numbers would be a note put on the clipboard.

I think it's the obvious- past history can be the best predictor of future history. Getting into commitments and out of them quickly could show a lack of stability, security, or good judgement.


Exactly.

Someone with no experience or with only a string of one-time adventures raise certain issues just as someone who has only had one partner for multiple years raises other issues.

The issues are not innately positive or negative. They become information from which to design new questions and to consider in the overall evaluation.

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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 10:14:29 AM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		Sure i guess so...just like if i were single and dating and ran into a guy that had been married 5 times...i'd be very leary...

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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 10:30:51 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		For me, it'd be a number of partners vs the number of years active in the lifestyle. The "older" you are, the more likely you are to have had 10+ partners. I also note if they're intelligent enough to figure out that some of the relationships that were supposed to be Ms actually turned into play partner type relationships. I make notes of them, too. An excessive ratio in either warns of relationship immaturity and the lack of ability to sustain a commitment.

Master Fire


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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 10:39:21 AM   
Supernatural


Posts: 26
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline 		The answer to this question, I believe to most, can be a little obvious. I have also ran into this and wonder what others might think along these lines. Lets say a Master is speaking with a potential slave and the statement comes up ... "I left my last Master because ...". Notice it was not stated that they were 'released' but that they simply 'left'. If at all, how should this effect the decision making process when considering such a slave? ...

_____________________________

"A man must not deny his manifest abilities, for that is to evade his obligations."
--William Feather

"If punishment makes not the will supple it hardens the offender."
--John Locke

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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 10:45:08 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I care far more about what comes AFTER the "because" than what comes before it.

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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 10:53:02 AM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Supernatural

The answer to this question, I believe to most, can be a little obvious. I have also ran into this and wonder what others might think along these lines. Lets say a Master is speaking with a potential slave and the statement comes up ... "I left my last Master because ...". Notice it was not stated that they were 'released' but that they simply 'left'. If at all, how should this effect the decision making process when considering such a slave? ...

I actually met one who LEFT and was not Released, after hearing her reasons, I totally understood why.  I just listen to the reason(s) and could care less about the how. 

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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 11:16:58 AM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Supernatural

The answer to this question, I believe to most, can be a little obvious. I have also ran into this and wonder what others might think along these lines. Lets say a Master is speaking with a potential slave and the statement comes up ... "I left my last Master because ...". Notice it was not stated that they were 'released' but that they simply 'left'. If at all, how should this effect the decision making process when considering such a slave? ...

why is it automatically a negitive on the sub types part if they left a Master? perhaps there was a very good reason...


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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 11:59:48 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		What about the flip side of the same coin. What if the sub or Dominant has been completely single for a large number of years. No type of relationship at all.
How would you react to that?

I think every situation has to be taken and analyzed per individual. Each person will classify a "relationship" differently.

If some on had been married or had "collared or been collared" a number of times in a short time period, then I would really wonder why. If someone had not even dated in over a number of years that would worry me too but I'd talk to the person and find out why personally.

Things happen for wierd reasons. It's doesn't always have to do with a flaw with a certain individual.

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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 12:13:19 PM   
Supernatural


Posts: 26
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline 		I see your point imthatacheyouhav. That last question was not meant to be seen as an inherently negitive or positive lean towards the slave in question. My question was meant more for the perceived difference between the core of what a 'slave' is seen as being and what a 'sub' is seen as being. It would not strike me as curious if a sub stated they had left their last Dom. If its a bad scene, get out. However, once someone had gone the extra mile to be collared and 'supposedly' given up all their rights ... I wondered if the previous slave statement was of in anyway a consern to a new would be owner.

_____________________________

"A man must not deny his manifest abilities, for that is to evade his obligations."
--William Feather

"If punishment makes not the will supple it hardens the offender."
--John Locke

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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 12:16:24 PM   
Supernatural


Posts: 26
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline 		Very good point akisha.


_____________________________

"A man must not deny his manifest abilities, for that is to evade his obligations."
--William Feather

"If punishment makes not the will supple it hardens the offender."
--John Locke

(in reply to Supernatural)
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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 12:16:55 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Oh on THOSE regards, no it wouldn't matter at all.  Not everyone goes by the notion that a slave cannot release themselves, and certainly if the slave was the one who initiated the release by ASKING for it, it would make sense for them to use the langauge "I left him" even though technically she had asked for release and been granted.

And no, really that has nothing to do with sub/slave to me. 

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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 12:17:07 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Supernatural

I see your point imthatacheyouhav. That last question was not meant to be seen as an inherently negitive or positive lean towards the slave in question. My question was meant more for the perceived difference between the core of what a 'slave' is seen as being and what a 'sub' is seen as being. It would not strike me as curious if a sub stated they had left their last Dom. If its a bad scene, get out. However, once someone had gone the extra mile to be collared and 'supposedly' given up all their rights ... I wondered if the previous slave statement was of in anyway a consern to a new would be owner.


The one right everyone always keeps IMO, is to stay and obey or leave. If i'm desperately unhappy or being abused, be damnned if I'm going to ask if I can leave I'd just do it.

Does it make any sense, if you think about it, for someone to ask to be released by someone that is severly beating them, abusing the littles etc?

Common sense here.

< Message edited by akisha -- 6/18/2007 12:19:23 PM >

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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 12:21:10 PM   
LadyPaige


Posts: 187
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		If someone had a lot of committed relationships of any kind I'd want to know the circumstances.  Generally the younger someone is, the more likely they are to hop from one commitment to another.  As they mature they hopefully make better decisions.

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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 12:22:07 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Not everybody uses the same formal language you do. Left, was released, ended - all these mean the relationship ended. The why is more important than the verb used.

As far as the original question concerning number of ex doms, The Man was very candid about enjoying knowing this was my first d/s relationship. He had spoken and played with a few other woman before we met who managed to ruin the encounters by always saying "That wasn't how my ex did that". He was pleased as punch to know he wasn't going to get that from me, only whether or not I liked what he did.

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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 12:34:40 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Supernatural

The answer to this question, I believe to most, can be a little obvious. I have also ran into this and wonder what others might think along these lines. Lets say a Master is speaking with a potential slave and the statement comes up ... "I left my last Master because ...". Notice it was not stated that they were 'released' but that they simply 'left'. If at all, how should this effect the decision making process when considering such a slave? ...


It depends on the because.  If the because was:

- he became batshit crazy and started talking to non existent people
- he tried to do something weird to UMs
- he killed someone or engaged in felony criminal activities
- he became physically or mentally abusive

Then I can definitely understand a slave leaving someone.  If its not for those reasons then to me it would be a red flag/indicator of their mindset/something to pay attention to.

C~


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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 12:51:37 PM   
LadyIce


Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPaige

If someone had a lot of committed relationships of any kind I'd want to know the circumstances.  Generally the younger someone is, the more likely they are to hop from one commitment to another.  As they mature they hopefully make better decisions.


I agree with LadyPaige on this one.
If the submissive has a history of making bad choices consistently,
that is a reflection on them.

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RE: "Survey says" ... How many Masters ... - 6/18/2007 12:56:08 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Supernatural

The answer to this question, I believe to most, can be a little obvious. I have also ran into this and wonder what others might think along these lines. Lets say a Master is speaking with a potential slave and the statement comes up ... "I left my last Master because ...". Notice it was not stated that they were 'released' but that they simply 'left'. If at all, how should this effect the decision making process when considering such a slave? ...


I live in the reality of the general world around me. Anyone submitting or serving me has every legal and social right to leave at any time. Saying they should ask to be released is a nice ritual but unless you want to break the law, it is nothing but a ritual. The top cannot force someone to stay unless they are willing to risk a nice term in a jail cell should their sub ever wise up.

If they just "left" with no discussion or anything that shows signs of immaturity in my opinion. (unless it was an abusive situation but then that raises other questions for me)

If they discussed things and left because they were no longer compatible or some other factor, I'd have to hear the factor to fully evaluate it.

< Message edited by thetammyjo -- 6/18/2007 12:58:29 PM >

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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