LadyHugs
Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
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Dear LadyAlzara, Ladies and Gentlemen;
In my many years in the Leather Community, et.al.; there will be those who will not accept a woman as a Dominant, a Master and or one who is an equal peer. There will be those who are tolerant and respectful to a woman as a Dominant, a Master and or an equal peer.
It goes back to individuals themselves, as they are the ones who must listen to their own 'spirit of intent' and what guides them in that time, that moment and the like.
Being a Heterosexual Female, in many Gay and Lesbian Leather events, I really don't have much trouble from Gay men. I at times have trouble with Lesbians, as they focus on sexual vs. the total form of mastery.
I have also had wonderful Gay Masters as mentors in my salad days. Perhaps this is why I get on so well with Gay men; as I am not seen as a sexual object but as a unique individual who is well qualified in variety of fields.
I would like to say, that words saying that I am Dominant are not necessary in Leather community circles. It is one's manners, use of protocols, respecting those of all roles as well as having presence; tells more of my standing in my role than a lot of 'gushing' with individuals and having to inform them of what I am.
I also come into a crowd of strangers very serious--business like if you will. I do not flirt with strangers, I only tease in a good humor fashioned with those who know me well. It is a matter of earned respect and given latitude among dear friends. Again, that 'right' to tease me and tease them is earned.
In addition; how I speak to those who identify as Dominant matters. I am keen on using my words carefully as to cement the fact that I address them as a Dominant and with the right key words, invite their permission to entertain my mind's eyes, my views and my skills. I do not need to 'out crow' any Dominant --especially when I invite them into my mind's eyes. It is a respectful exchange. I also use words to invite them to share their mind's eyes. Understanding is valued. Respecting each other is important. I never 'assume' I will be tolerated or appreciated. I always think of myself as a 'guest' in those realms in the community where I am a stranger.
Learning a new skill in a public place can be embarrassing. They see mistakes and flaws, etc. When I mentor someone, I do make it extremely simple and get results quickly, that people can see. I do not like to string people along with lessons on techniques and skills.
Those with bad habits take more time however, those new to a skill are easy to work with.
I don't find in my area, people mocking those who wish to pick up a new skill or technique. It seems more of many Dominants falling over each other to help a novice at a skill, to succeed.
Those who ask to mentor me, have never been upset by the peanut gallery per se. Those who claim that they might not be dominant because of this or that, to include --they haven't met the right dominant yet --are often new themselves. They always need to 'impress' others -- yet, often have little to impress with. I have often offered to loan my whip and tell them to show us what they know. It is amazing how fast retreats are. Consider it posturing. Just paying attention to your own business and learn good and safe skills is most important; not trying to change people's minds of who and what you are.
Just some thoughts.
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
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RE: Female Domination: Threat or Friend? - 
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