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I have a confession to make - 6/5/2005 9:36:32 AM   
cheekybottom


Posts: 69
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline 		Naked and on bended knees you lower your head in deference. “Master, it has been a month since I last confessed to you.”

The weight of his hand rests heavy upon you’re head, deft fingers sift through silken strands clutching them he pulls back slowly exposing the expanse of you’re vulnerable neck. “Have you been a naughty girl?” “Come, whore, and tell me what you’ve done.”

You’re mouth goes dry, and you gulp hard before continuing. “I confess to you my most grievous fault.”

Master stands before you absorbing, he walks out of the room leaving you there on your knees in contemplation, you’d best not move, not an inch. You feel better now that you’ve confessed, and improved upon once reconciliation has been met.

He returns, and you are dealt with.

There is another act of confession that we must also consider and that is of our perverted images. To confess is to let some of one’s own perversions into the light, complete with masochistic feelings of self-revelation and fear of punishment.

Notice the sexual nature of confession. The words “I confess” do not come easily when they are the true conjurers of deeply hidden fantasy or memory. They may be as difficult and as arousing as “I love you.” Confession conveys the very seeds of a personality, and so the teller and the hearer are inflamed.

The humbling that confession requires, the power of the one confessed to.

Both humiliation of the penitent and the power of the one to whom the confession is made are erotic. That is, they serve the soul and therefore fulfill some mysterious desire. The humiliation and the vulnerability were felt by everyone, not only by the confessors.

How many of you would enjoy a more structured time/ritual for confessing ones perversions and or sins?

>NOTATION< I am not suggesting that if you are guilty of a wrong doing that you wait until such a time to confess.

If you were to set up such a time or already perform such how many of you struggle for worthwhile transgressions, and or dark thoughts to share with your Master?

It seems an insult to confess to the same petty faults every time. But when one sins or breaks a rule as it were no matter how minor or severe shouldn’t they all be confessed each and every time they happen? Perhaps one has simply confessed, but was not effectively contrite.


Some people confess (I am speaking of our perverted images) too much and too often. To me this symptom suggests a failure to do so effectively. The words must connect with feelings of inferiority and humility. When confession is genuine, it may become clear that compulsive confessing was the soul’s unsuccessful attempt to express its dark images.

Society tends to repress our perverted images, teaching us to hide them. We often slip through the shadows lurking behind lighted areas hiding in our own little ways. My thought in this post was to embrace darkness while adding a certain amount of light, basically a verbal power exchange: the Dominant deciding when and the submissive surrendering what she wants. There by they are both manipulating each other.

The exact opposite of confession: interrogation. A rather nice twist: closet confessions straight to brutal interrogation. There are definite contrasting textures here but keep in mind the tonality of confession, the mysterious darkness of the confessional booth, the way we sit behind the screen of our computers, behind the closed doors of our counseling sessions. To interrogate is to bring forth blinding light, your opened up, and thoroughly examined.

Right now we are at confession, these forums our personal therapy. I’m not implying that anyone comes here for analysis to be examined or repair any problematic factors in their lives, but simply to confess and share experiences.

~d~


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RE: I have a confession to make - 6/5/2005 10:10:24 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cheekybottom

How many of you would enjoy a more structured time/ritual for confessing ones perversions and or sins?

I don't feel any sort of guilt for my perversions and I don't believe in sin the way most people do, certainly not as something to be confessed, so I wouldn't really get anything out of that.

I enjoy wallowing and connecting with people through kinks and other activities.

quote:


If you were to set up such a time or already perform such how many of you struggle for worthwhile transgressions, and or dark thoughts to share with your Master?

It would be hard for me because my fantasies and scenes are rarely well thought out- more like flashes and fragmented ideas. But as it is we regularly share what we feel and ideas we have already, whether we're out at dinner together or having a scene.
quote:


It seems an insult to confess to the same petty faults every time. But when one sins or breaks a rule as it were no matter how minor or severe shouldn’t they all be confessed each and every time they happen? Perhaps one has simply confessed, but was not effectively contrite.

I'd be very concerned if a submissive broke rules with any sort of regularity, but yet obviously they should be made aware to the dominant if not known already.

quote:


Right now we are at confession, these forums our personal therapy. I’m not implying that anyone comes here for analysis to be examined or repair any problematic factors in their lives, but simply to confess and share experiences.

~d~


Share experiences sure, confess no.

(in reply to cheekybottom)
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RE: I have a confession to make - 6/5/2005 10:23:39 AM   
cheekybottom


Posts: 69
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline 		This is not about guilt but a ritual based form of verbal power exchange between Dominant and submissive.

~d~


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RE: I have a confession to make - 6/5/2005 10:48:35 AM   
Raphael


Posts: 263
Joined: 5/10/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cheekybottom

This is not about guilt but a ritual based form of verbal power exchange between Dominant and submissive.

~d~



Exactly.

And I think it's hot.

However, there is the risk of it being taken the wrong way, as that response shows. I wouldn't want to do anything to encourage a girls feelings of guilt, I'm definately trying to work in the other direction.



(in reply to cheekybottom)
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RE: I have a confession to make - 6/5/2005 12:26:46 PM   
RiotGirl


Posts: 3149
Status: offline 		yeah i suppose that'd be hot

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RE: I have a confession to make - 6/5/2005 8:57:00 PM   
Lepidoptera


Posts: 161
Joined: 4/14/2005
Status: offline 		I'd have a lot of trouble with that, because I rarely do thing that I feel remose for or are ashamed about. The "confession" would feel forced and dishonest. I can see myself desperately making things up, because nothing displeases a dom more than saying "I don't know" continously.


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RE: I have a confession to make - 6/5/2005 9:09:52 PM   
cheekybottom


Posts: 69
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lepidoptera

I'd have a lot of trouble with that, because I rarely do thing that I feel remose for or are ashamed about. The "confession" would feel forced and dishonest. I can see myself desperately making things up, because nothing displeases a dom more than saying "I don't know" continously.




Smiles, and hugs, I do understand, but try and see past the words and into the heart of this thread. It is all in what you make of everything you do within the dynamics of your relationship. Confession is not just about guilt or wrong doing, but a structured time in which to say all the important things not yet said before the day fizzles out. Let me ask you Lepidoptera how do you and your Dominant unwind after a long day? Do you do so separately? Privacy is important but too much leads to distance, and so I offer you a verbal ritual between that of a Dominant and a submissive, nothing more and nothing less.

~d~



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RE: I have a confession to make - 6/5/2005 9:20:05 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: cheekybottom
Privacy is important but too much leads to distance, and so I offer you a verbal ritual between that of a Dominant and a submissive, nothing more and nothing less.

~d~

The Owner and I aren't into rituals and such. We tend to unwind by watching tv or movies and eating dinner, checking email, and then to bed.

Interrogation scenes can certainly be hot, but rituals as a whole just aren't what we're into.

(in reply to cheekybottom)
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RE: I have a confession to make - 6/6/2005 4:30:18 AM   
ElektraUkM


Posts: 309
Joined: 2/19/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe some kind of communion ritual would go down better than a confession..?

~ Elektra

(in reply to EmeraldSlave2)
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RE: I have a confession to make - 6/6/2005 5:51:36 AM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

There is another act of confession that we must also consider and that is of our perverted images.

One man's perversion is another man's (like me) virtue. So this could be more like bragging than confessing.

I suppose this confession ritual could be useful in the early stages of a relationship as part of the "gettin' to know ya" process, but eventually I'd expect transgressions to diminish as expectations are consistently met. But there's also the issue that it could be manipulated by someone with a "punish me" kink to make stuff up and get a fix. So though the idea of confession as you described it appeals to me in theory, I'm still wondering how to make it work in practice.

_____________________________

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RE: I have a confession to make - 6/6/2005 5:54:29 AM   
MemphisDsCouple


Posts: 146
Joined: 11/1/2004
From: Memphis, TN, USA
Status: offline 		Many years ago, I set up a daily time for:


quote:

ORIGINAL: cheekybottom

a ritual based form of verbal power exchange between Dominant and submissive.

~d~



and just to take care of business.

This particular ritual has been tweaked over time. For example, at times when we have had more privacy in our relationship I have had my girl caress herself sexually as she reported to me the day's events, her thoughts, feelings and impressions, including her confessions. I particularly like that format.


quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

yeah i suppose that'd be hot



I find it so. But! I have to be careful. She's not at her business best when she's approaching orgasm and wondering whether I'm going to command her to cum or if I'm going to make her stew in her juices. lol

When there has been less time and/or privacy she and I might sit at a table or stand in the kitchen for her daily verbal "constitutional".

She also has ongoing tasks, temporary assignments and general responsibilities that I monitor. This daily ritual is the time during which I get an update these things. I find it much more efficient than trying to monitor things piecemeal.


quote:

ORIGINAL: cheekybottom

a structured time in which to say all the important things not yet said before the day fizzles out



Yes. I find it quite useful, rewarding and generally beneficial to the relationship as well as to the practical management of my home and family as well as productive to keep the relationship in close communion.

In my home, it is also a time when my girl can tell me about any problems. It is a time when I expect her to have input. Suggest changes. Point out things I could do better.







_____________________________

B. (the male half of MemphisDsCouple)

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RE: I have a confession to make - 6/6/2005 6:12:55 AM   
MemphisDsCouple


Posts: 146
Joined: 11/1/2004
From: Memphis, TN, USA
Status: offline
Sometimes we say, "I don't know" when we really mean, "I don't want to talk about it," or "I don't think you will understand". In those cases, if the dominant feels it is an important issue and needs communication, then it is probably appropriate for a dominant to insist on a more substantive response. Continued refusal can indeed be displeasing.

Sometimes, "I don't know" is the only true response. In those circumstances it behooves the dominant to back up a step or two and lay a foundation upon which to base the discussion, a basis and/or context upon which, and/or within which the submissive can predicate her response to his question.. So the submissive will "know".

In the context of this thread, I can see that a dominant would be displeased by a submissive simply "making things up".

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lepidoptera

I can see myself desperately making things up, because nothing displeases a dom more than saying "I don't know" continously.





_____________________________

B. (the male half of MemphisDsCouple)

(in reply to Lepidoptera)
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RE: I have a confession to make - 6/6/2005 10:14:52 AM   
Lepidoptera


Posts: 161
Joined: 4/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MemphisDsCouple


Sometimes we say, "I don't know" when we really mean, "I don't want to talk about it," or "I don't think you will understand". In those cases, if the dominant feels it is an important issue and needs communication, then it is probably appropriate for a dominant to insist on a more substantive response. Continued refusal can indeed be displeasing.

Sometimes, "I don't know" is the only true response. In those circumstances it behooves the dominant to back up a step or two and lay a foundation upon which to base the discussion, a basis and/or context upon which, and/or within which the submissive can predicate her response to his question.. So the submissive will "know".

In the context of this thread, I can see that a dominant would be displeased by a submissive simply "making things up".

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lepidoptera

I can see myself desperately making things up, because nothing displeases a dom more than saying "I don't know" continously.






I find it extremely difficult to vocalize in a D/s environment. I can talk until the cows come home as long as I'm talking at the same level as a person. However, the more and more I drop in a submissive state, the less capable I am of talking.

This is because normally, I do not express emotion in real life. Part of submitting, for me, is letting myself feel everything. I just let myself react. This means letting my amygdala (the part of the brain that controls emotion) take over. The more the amygdala takes over, the more it bypasses the frontal cortex (the part of the brain responsibe for thought and language). This why when someone gets really angry, they do things that they would normally never do. They literally have no control over themselves, because their frontal cortex is no longer in control. The evolutionary reason for this is simple- the thought process just takes too damn long, and in times of danger, the organism needs to react quickly. For instance, when a prehistoric human would see a predatory animal, instead of sitting there and thinking "hmm, that looks kind of dangerous, maybe I should do something about it" they would experience fear. Fear would make them react immediately.

At the first levels of subspace, I can talk, but simply. The further I go in, the less and less capable I am of thought. At my deepest state, I can't talk at all- even the word "no" is impossible. I make noises, I react to the fear and pain, but on a very animal level.

Out of subspace, I can answer any question a dominant throws at me. But as I soon as I am submitting, even a little, to answer the question requires me to pull myself out of subspace, which is exactly the opposite of what I, and probably the dominant, wants. Sometimes, depending on how deep on in, a complicated question will make me feel frustrated, because I want to answer, but I'm just not capable of it, and I'm scared of what will happen when I don't.

(in reply to MemphisDsCouple)
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RE: I have a confession to make - 6/6/2005 9:37:09 PM   
SteelBondager


Posts: 86
Joined: 5/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Naked and on bended knees you lower your head in deference. “Master, it has been a month since I last confessed to you.”

quote:

Perhaps one has simply confessed, but was not effectively contrite.


Contrition. That's not a word often heard (by me) in our circles. Contrition carries a connotation of "bitter regret", a gnawing anguish about that which we cannot undo.

In this context, there would also be a great release, accompanied by a great fear(?) or unknowing(?) of what is to come.

This confession provides an opening into which the "Master" can begin to examine her moral core - something often hidden. This might end in questioning regarding how fully contrite she is and what she is willing to endure to make penance.

I like the humility factor. I like the trust bonding aspects. I like that she has to endure something (which is why I added it). I like naked slaves.

I'm not sure how "they are both manipulating each other".

Thought-provoking, if nothing else.

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RE: I have a confession to make - 6/7/2005 11:38:16 AM   
feline


Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline 		I found this to be quite interesting. Excellant post, very thought provoking.
Best reading I have done on this board in a long time. I especially enjoyed MemphisDsCouple post.

To answer the questions;


How many of you would enjoy a more structured time/ritual for confessing ones perversions and or sins?

I think it would make me uneasy, not something I could do freely at first. But I can see how it could be beneficial to both partners.

If you were to set up such a time or already perform such how many of you struggle for worthwhile transgressions, and or dark thoughts to share with your Master?

Struggle with "dark thoughts"? I guess it all depends on what your ideas of dark thoughts are. I would hope I would have few transgressions. But having to admit to them might be a tad hard.

Take care,






Attachment (1)

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Variety is the soul of pleasure.
~Aphra Behn~

(in reply to cheekybottom)
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RE: I have a confession to make - 6/7/2005 2:24:50 PM   
cheekybottom


Posts: 69
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline 		ElectraUKM: Communion ritual is a nice way to put it, I do understand that most equate the word confession to one of guilt, but then I prefer contrasts and words that exemplify power exchange and control, that’s what gets me hot, my headspace.

happypervert: If this interests you then it might be more beneficial to think of such a ritual in terms of developmental levels as you stated “the getting to know you phase.” Transgressions come and diminish over time as expectations are met and handed out, you are correct. If you think about it this ritual is actually a common vanilla practice where the individuals in a committed relationship come together to share their day, their troubles, and their desires. Again, it’s what you make of it after all it is your relationship. I am but offering a more structured and disciplined method of sharing.

SteelBondager: Contrition is the act of confession where one shows genuine remorse and a firm resolve never to sin or transgress again. Bitter regret, yes you’re absolutely right but as to the undoing that isn’t for us to say for that would depend upon the dynamic of the relationship in question. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.” Sometimes words only go so far, and when ones actions do not show how sorry we are then yes, you’ll have bitter regret. Also in the context of this thread contrition or act of confession can be completely positive based as well such as sharing ones genuine feelings our emotional desires like MemphisDsCouple did in their relationship.

We manipulate each other in many ways, when the Dominant does they are training but when a submissive does they are in a sense testing. But how do they manipulate each other here you ask? The Dominant decides when and how the submissive surrenders thoughts he manipulates them into a discussion, the submissive complies and divulges what she wishes or is ready to, her word choice does indeed have the power to manipulate, how could it not, is a Dominant without thought or his own feelings? Can he not be manipulated into great emotion? Is this right, is this wrong? Neither, it is what it is. Use your power for greatness or use it for destruction after all it is your relationship, not mine.

quote:


Confession conveys the very seeds of a personality, and so the teller and the hearer are inflamed.


Thank you feline and everyone else for sharing their thoughts, I’ve enjoyed reading them.

~d~


< Message edited by cheekybottom -- 6/7/2005 3:09:36 PM >

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RE: I have a confession to make - 6/7/2005 2:38:04 PM   
asissyforher


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: iowa now..maybe move soon.
Status: offline
quote:

Lepidoptera
as in what Lepidoptera says, i also do not have much for confession. i maybe should apologize? but moving from vanilla to lifestyle? i cannot find, anything to feel guilt or remorse.
especially when i try so hard to be good anyway. i tend to walk-theline as it is anyway.
ah well.
thank you
asissy

(in reply to cheekybottom)
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RE: I have a confession to make - 6/7/2005 2:48:05 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

We manipulate each other in many ways, when the Dominant does they are training but when a submissive does they are in a sense testing.


Now, manipulation I have a problem with. Maybe some people use manipulation within a relationship, but I do not see the point of it. If a submissive is using manipulation in any form, is that not topping in a bad way?

If there is something I need or wish, I will ask - I do not need to manipulate or test. It is neither a positive nor a constructive situation to be in.

To manipulate IMO, is to abuse the trust that is built, and shows little respect for either oneself - or the the person you are manipulating.

Peace and Love

_____________________________
.dark.



...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to cheekybottom)
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RE: I have a confession to make - 6/7/2005 3:01:22 PM   
cheekybottom


Posts: 69
Joined: 5/28/2005
Status: offline 		Manipulation is a problem in general, but for the purpose of my thread my intent was to use it in a scene related context based on a verbal power exchange such as an interrogation and not an act of contrition as that would defeat the purpose. In no way was I condoning manipulative behavior, however it does in fact happen I but answered a question a poster had concerning how the Dominant and submissive could manipulate one another.


I would like to add to what I said about manipulation. By the use of manipulation I am thinking more in terms of ingenious and deviant behavior and not one in which portrays false manners there by gaining ground in a personally advantageous way.

~d~


< Message edited by cheekybottom -- 6/8/2005 4:26:43 AM >

_____________________________

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