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Omnin -> From friend to master, what did I do wrong? (6/5/2005 12:54:39 PM)
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I am sort of new to this so I may be feeling something that is normal and I just don't understand it but here goes.
I am going to simplify this a lot since in order to do details it's like 3 pages long.
I have a close friend who recently became my master. She was at one point helping me to explore my feelings about being a slave and spent a lot of time working with me and talking to me and asking how I felt, it was always how do you feel about this, or that. We spoke every day about it and she ran me through some exercises if you will.
Well she made it clear in the beginning I would never be her slave since we were such good friends. So I looked for another master, which she suggested would be a good idea. When I started talking to some though she got very possessive and jealous and demanded that I stop talking to them and serve her and her alone. I agreed and she pronounced me her slave and made me acknowledge her ownership of me as my master.
Now here is the problem, Since that time she has virtually cut herself off from me. She wont take my calls, wont answer emails. She has cut off every form of communication I had with her, and since I was originally a friend, I had a lot.
She calls once in a blue moon to demand I acknowledge she is still my master and that I am still her slave and then hangs up again. The only instructions she has ever given me since she became my master were, never to try to contact her, and that I could never look for another master until she released me from my service. But there is no service, other than a strange phone call every couple of weeks from some angry person she has no influence on my life what so ever. I had a ton more contact with her when we were just friends, now that she owns me there is nothing.
What good is being a slave if your master makes absolutely no use of you? Sets no rules or guild lines? Has no expectations? Wont even talk to you?
Is this some kind of odd reaction to her seeing me as a good friend and not being able to treat me as a slave? Could she be really struggling with this and can't tell me? She has been a dom and has trained slaves before I figured this would be easy for her, she told me once though that she would never be able to do the things she did to her slaves to me. Could she be in some kind of emotional trauma from this?
I tried twice to talk to her about it and even suggested we end our master slave relationship but she got furious and just reinforced her ownership of me and asserted that she is keeping me. So she must really want this? Or am I mistaken?
What can I do for my master to help her? I am not even sure what is wrong with her to even begin, I feel like all I can do is wait for her to come to me and talk. But the longer I sit here with no contact the less I feel like I am hers. Does that make sense?
thank you in advance for any insight,
-A very confused slave.
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