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aidan -> RE: Question about age (6/19/2007 6:45:12 AM)
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Dude, you've got to accept, right here and now, that for a long time your age is gonna be a stigma in this world, especially if you're looking for an older woman. The sooner you can understand that, the easier a time you'll have.
There's a lot of reasons for that. We're new, in a club that's still pretty exclusive despite all the people who appear to be trying to get in. There's thousands of people out there who pretend to be who and what they're not. You've got to earn people's trust, prove that you're not here to piss off your parents or be edgy and counter-culture. That this is the long-haul. That takes time.
Being young comes with a lot of disadvantages. No money, no job, no house...Generally speaking of course, but show of hands people ages 18 to 25 who have a secure and well paying job and their own home. The fact is, we're just starting out in the real world, and rightfully so a lot of folks don't want to take the time to deal with that. Fair point.
Another aspect is just that people always look down on folks our age, and in this generation probably not without good reason. Most of us are stupid, whiney, obnoxious, immature, borderline narcisstic and emotionally void. Sure, the only difference between us and most older folks is that they're better at hiding these things, but a fair amount do eventually grow out of it, and they remember just as well what it's like to be young.
But it's not the end of the world! You can rise above the stereotype. Get out there, talk to people, mix it up. Become a part of the scene, here, on other sites, in the real world. Wherever you can, dip your toes and and wade in. Then you tread water, for as long as it takes. Years, mayhap. Ever see Blazing Saddles? Once you establish yourself, they've got to respect you. There's always gonna be people who think you're a stupid little kid, sure. But fuck'm. They'll get old, and you'll still be in your prime. Try to laugh behind your hand.
That's another thing. These might be the lean years, but think about it. Most folks don't realize they can do this stuff until much later. When most guys are trying on their first pair of leather shorts and gals shopping for My First Flogger, you'll have experience, friends and connections. You'll be laps ahead of the competition.
And you live in New York City, dude. One of the best scenes in the Eastern United States. There's a good (well, a better chance) that you can meet an older woman who wants to trade in for that younger model or a college girl who liked tieing up little Jimmy as a kid. There's no gurantee, and odds are stacked against you, but it's never going to happen if you don't try.
So don't dispair, my Man in the Box. Your age is an albatross only if you let it be. Go out, explore, and remember that what you do, not what you are, defines you.
"Once you establish yourself, they've got to respect you."
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