Two faults (Full Version)

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Politesub53 -> Two faults (6/19/2007 3:20:16 AM)

Which two faults do you feel affect your role as a Dominant or submissive. ( For the perfect just name one  < grins > )

Firstly, i am at times insecure, not to a major degree, but maybe enough to need reassuring more than i should.

Secondly i sometimes have to have the last word. Not a nice trait but im working on it :)

Mistress : Thats enough
me : But Mistress.....
Mistress : you know your problem, you always have to have the last word.
me : No i dont
Mistress : < with a wry and triumphant smile >  SEE !
me : < finally catching on just hushes >



Lashra -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 5:16:16 AM)

1. I do not have a lot of patience.

2. When I tell a sub to do something, I expect him to do it. I don't want to hear a bunch of excuses or  "Ill get to it soon Mistress"

3. I am told that I am pushy, that probably has a lot to do with number 1.

~Lashra



thetammyjo -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 5:57:01 AM)

I have a lot of left over self-esteem issues from my childhood survival -- actually in domspace those are a lot less likely to rear up but stuff you were programmed with when you are young is near impossible to reprogram, you learn to cope and try to get a jump on it before it gets bad.

Part of that is that I have a borderline eating disorder -- if I wasn't hypoglucemic I'd probably have a very nasty disorder but passing out every other day in high school cured the not eating thing. Now it's just eating too much. At least I try to eat more healthy and I exercise every day for at least half an hour.

I have zero patience for many things. I look at my life and I see someone who as risen above much of the past and who struggles to make sure she stays above it. I do things in a timely fashion without being reminded. I expect the same from others and I have little tolerance for other behavior.

I have a perfectionist streak. I've worked on this a lot but it can play out when small details aren't met in service.

As I tell anyone -- friends, lovers, slaves, subs, family, and even colleagues and student -- I am intense. This is your one warning. Run now if you can't handle it.



chiaThePet -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 6:20:50 AM)

Hey PS,

First, my ability to pick locks allows for those late night trips out of the cage and
straight to the fridge, kills the whole deprivation theme.

Second, i'm bright enough not to give those whom would use such against me
the additional cannon foder needed to assault my weaknesses.

Respectfully, chia* (the pet)



canupleaseme -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 6:39:08 AM)

Hmm
1, I dont always have enough faith in myself as a domme or in general
2, I think about stuff way way too much instead of just enjoying it



Stephann -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 6:48:20 AM)

I'll jump in...

1.  Occasionally I take a slave's obedience for granted.  I'm not sure if that's a fault or not; I would think a good slave would strive to be so effective, as to be able to be taken for granted, but in not recognizing her accomplishments, I do her a disservice.

2.  I talk things out too much sometimes.  Instead of just grabbing her by the hair, and saying "I friggin told you to make dinner, GO!" I end up spending 15 minutes trying to reason out a 2 minute job.  It's a male thing, I suppose, in that we figure once we explain something it will magically make the task at hand easier.  Too analytical for my own good.

3.  I'm the opposite of Lashra; I'm too patient.  I don't get angry when I should, I don't get frustrated or flustered, and I think it appears that I am disinterested, when in fact I just have a very very long fuse.

Stephan



LadyPact -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 7:43:41 AM)

I'll give three, since I don't especially consider one a fault, rather more the situation.
 
1.  I'm considered (by some) poly.  While I don't consider this a fault, it knocks Me out of the loop for a lot of submissives.
 
2.  High expectations.  Once something is established, I expect it followed through.  I don't micro-manage and I don't give the same direction over and over once it's been understood.
 
3.  I'm aggressive, especially during play time. 



Politesub53 -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 7:51:02 AM)

Lady Pact......Is three so bad Maam ?......... < Grins >

Then again i am not on the receiving end...
[;)]



earthycouple -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 7:58:32 AM)

I want what I want when I want it.  End of story.

I have little to no want for useless conversation.  If you have nothing to say then keep the trap closed.  Small talk (weather, etc) is boring, I'd rather be left with my own thoughts.  Feigning knowlege to "look good" just pisses me off.  Trying to initiate a conversation just because you don't like the silence is your problem, not mine; take it somewhere else.

Yeah... I know I know...that's why they are faults.



chiaThePet -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 8:41:30 AM)

Hey, what's with the three items!?

This is the express lane!

Could i get a Manager over here.

Respectfully, chia* 'i need a price check on super maxi pads' (the pet)



slaveboyforyou -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 8:43:09 AM)

I wouldn't exactly call mine major faults, they are just issues of compatibility with some dominants.  I do not generally enjoy bdsm groups.  I do enjoy socializing, but I find a lot of the groups cliquesh.  There are just a lot of people trying to out-dom or out-sub everyone else, and I find it ridiculous.  So I am generally not a good match for a domme that is involved in a lot of different communities.  I will admit that I don't take a lot of the ceremony of bdsm seriously.  I tend to find a lot of it to be overly histrionic, and I have a bad habit of poking fun at it.  It's not just bdsm I do that with, I make fun of a lot of things.  This is not a problem with every woman I meet.  But some women don't have the same sarcastic sense of humor that I have.  Some dominants see that as arrogance and being uppity.  A person has to have a similar sense of humor to enjoy my company.     



chiaThePet -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 8:44:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'll give three, since I don't especially consider one a fault, rather more the situation.
 
1.  I'm considered (by some) poly.  While I don't consider this a fault, it knocks Me out of the loop for a lot of submissives.
 
2.  High expectations.  Once something is established, I expect it followed through.  I don't micro-manage and I don't give the same direction over and over once it's been understood.
 
3.  I'm aggressive, especially during play time. 


Dearest LadyPact,

Ah, the post was about faults, not fabulous traits, but i won't fault You for such.

Respectfully, chia* (the pet) 



LadyEllen -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 8:47:04 AM)

Well, I've been racking my brains all day to answer this thread. Very difficult to come up with two faults when one is as perfect as I.

But then it occurred to me, that arrogance and conceit might just count as faults.

E

PS - More seriously, those likely are two of my faults.




Lashra -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 8:55:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen



But then it occurred to me, that arrogance and conceit might just count as faults.

E

PS - More seriously, those likely are two of my faults.




Those are faults? Since when? I didn't get the memo....[;)]

~Lashra




MaamJay -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 10:47:25 AM)

As a Domme, I can get snappy and impatient at times. I don't suffer fools very well ... even temporary foolishness gets My goat.

As a sub ... i hate to admit it ... but i procrastinate! *shakes head* bad to have a fault that I as a Domme would get impatient with LOL! Master is fortunately for me a lot like Stephann ... He has a lot of patience and a very long fuse!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]



LadyPact -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 10:49:40 AM)

I think the point was made.  Smiles to chia and ps for noticing.
 
Any 'fault' can be put in such a way that a positive spin can be made of it.  A grueling perfectionist can be said to be a person who pays particular attention to detail.  Talking to much can be expressed as encouraging the lines of open communication.  Cheapskate can be aligned as financially cautious.
 
We all have good points and bad points.  Sometimes, our bad points are good points.  It just depends on context.
 
Some of Us don't love the people in our lives in spite of their flaws..... We love them because of them.



Politesub53 -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 10:55:32 AM)

i agree no one is perfect Maam, my two faults prove that. < Smiles innocently >  The way i see it is the faults i have are noticable to me, they would annoy the hell out of others, so therefore i should try and amend them.
[;)]



pixelslave -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 4:25:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I think the point was made.  Smiles to chia and ps for noticing.
 
Any 'fault' can be put in such a way that a positive spin can be made of it.  A grueling perfectionist can be said to be a person who pays particular attention to detail.  Talking to much can be expressed as encouraging the lines of open communication.  Cheapskate can be aligned as financially cautious.
 
We all have good points and bad points.  Sometimes, our bad points are good points.  It just depends on context.
 
Some of Us don't love the people in our lives in spite of their flaws..... We love them because of them.


I've heard it said that it's not unusual for our greatest strengths to also be our greatest weaknesses.
 
When I worked as an engineer, being a perfectionist was a great asset during the day at my job, but it definitely got in the way of relationships or in "just getting things done" when it came to little things that needed taken care of around the house.  It can be paralyzing while you try to get everything ready that's needed to do it "perfectly".  I think that's why a measure of balance or moderation is called for in most things in life. 
 
1.) While they still can be an asset at times, I consider my perfectionistic tendencies to be more of something that gets in my way more often than not.
 
2.) I'm definitely a big procrastinator when it comes to certain things.  I believe it's related to #1 along with having been told repeatedly as a child, "If you can't do it right, don't bother to do it at all!" 
 
There are others as well, but I'm working on them all as the opportunities arise.  None of us is perfect, which always helps when I remind myself of that when those tendencies to try to be as such come out. [;)]
 
 - pixel



maledave7 -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 5:38:09 PM)

I would say that I am insecure sometimes too. And allowing small problems to get to me.



zavalfuin -> RE: Two faults (6/19/2007 7:22:04 PM)

1. Thinking too much which leads to self-critique

and

2. Indecisiveness. Although I really shy away from calling it indecisiveness, I can't come up with a better term. It's not exactly that I don't care and it's a little bit that I am capricious.

e.g.

-j: are you tired?
me: yes, pls bring me a glass of wine
-j: because you don't seem as tired as you normally are on these days
me: yes, I feel pretty wide awake right now

Thing is--I felt tired when I said I was, and I felt wide awake when I said I was. *grin*



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