Meeting new master

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Meeting new master

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Meeting new master

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Meeting new master - 6/6/2005 2:01:00 AM

jenna696

Posts: 7
Joined: 5/30/2005
From: birmingham
Status: offline

Meeting my new master soon and was wondering if you could please give me some advice

Many thanks Newsoul (jenna696)

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Meeting new master - 6/6/2005 2:50:52 AM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

Assuming I'm reading this right, I'd be highly suspicious (lotsa flashing red lights and sirens) of anyone presenting themselves as your new master if you haven't even met him!

Look at it in a vanilla way - how many in the Western World would marry someone they've never met? To many, committing as Master and slave is a marriage equivalent.... I only meet a fem/sub with the potential to be my slave, the Master/slave dynamic comes later if we like each other - *much* later....

Perhaps you could offer some more information to get better advice.... At least make sure you meet in a public place such as a club etc - somewhere where you have privacy to talk but still have people on the periphery in case of emergency.

Focus50.

(in reply to jenna696)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Meeting new master - 6/6/2005 3:26:31 AM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

yeah what he said. Trust your instincts, your gut.

Make sure you look nice, well groomed. Make sure yer completely shaven for the (devilish grin) just in case. Never can be too prepared! Ask what he'd like you to wear. Anything special? Try not to talk to much, be silent and attentive. Take your cues from him. Does he want a lively conversation? Or does he wanta more quiet convo. Pay attention, completely focused detail attention, especially to what he says. Learn as much about his likes and dislikes as you can.

(in reply to Focus50)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Meeting new master - 6/6/2005 6:13:39 AM

EmeraldSlave2

Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Use good judgement, take condoms.

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Meeting new master - 6/6/2005 6:57:13 AM

kc692

Posts: 3701
Joined: 3/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Assuming I'm reading this right, I'd be highly suspicious (lotsa flashing red lights and sirens) of anyone presenting themselves as your new master if you haven't even met him!

Look at it in a vanilla way - how many in the Western World would marry someone they've never met? To many, committing as Master and slave is a marriage equivalent.... I only meet a fem/sub with the potential to be my slave, the Master/slave dynamic comes later if we like each other - *much* later....

Perhaps you could offer some more information to get better advice.... At least make sure you meet in a public place such as a club etc - somewhere where you have privacy to talk but still have people on the periphery in case of emergency.

Focus50.

Not to be rude, and not a master (does mistress count?) but, WTF??? How do you know he is your master, if you have never met? You joined collarme about a week ago, and your profile says you met your master on here, so you have talked to him less than a week????? He may be wonderful, but please take safety precautions, and meet in a public place...you have no idea if he is all that he said he is, who he is, etc.....being honest, seems very foolish on your part.....

Started to write more, but get the feeling I would be wasting my breath...

(in reply to Focus50)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Meeting new master - 6/6/2005 8:30:11 AM

SadistDave

Posts: 801
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

First off, congrats. Hope it works out for you. Second, read Focus50 and KC692's posts again after reading this one. No; strike that. Go back and re-read them before you read my comments. I think she would have offered some sage advice if the whole thing didn't sound so suspicious.

I have to admit to being curious how you gained the experience stated in your profile without knowing how to meet someone. Anyway...

You need 4 things. A wristwatch and a way home, a good friend, and a cell phone. Frankly, it sounds like you're moving pretty damn fast. Slow down. This is not a time to savor the moment, or to lose yourself in the excitement of it all. You should approach this with a high degree of caution, and a healthy dose of skepticism.

As KC and Focus both stated, meet in a very public place. VERY public. Preferably someplace outdoors like a busy park or cafe, or inddors like at a shopping center with multiple exits. The actual location isn't nearly as important as meeting in a place with lots of people. I've gone to first meetings having coffee on the steps of the police department before.

Limit your first meeting to a set time. Normally I advise no more than 30 minutes. It helps if you have some basic questions in mind before the meeting. 30 minutes is long enough to know someone well enough to decide if they are worth knowing, and short enough to allow you to walk away no matter how wonderful and sexy you may find him. If he's truely that wonderful, then take RiotGirl and Emeraldslaves advice for the second meeting.

Ideally, you should have someone known to you in the lifestyle go with you and get a second opinion on the spot. Or at least someone to sit and watch to make sure you're okay. Lets assume that you can't set that up at the moment.

Find someone to be your safe-call. Someone trustworthy. Arrainge for that person to call you halfway through your meeting on your cell phone. I always suggest a simple code thats unrelated to the lifestyle that can be used in any conversation. whatever code words you devise, they should tell the caller one of 3 things. All is well, call me back in 5 minutes so I can leave, or call the police immediately. An experienced Dominant will be expecting such a call, so the following is very important. If he gets nervous while you're on the phone you need to leave immediately.

Incidentally, for any submissives reading this. You should know the capabilities of your cellular provider. Some companies can trace your phone even when it is off. Some can even activate it and call you while it is off... That's a handy thing to know if the police ever need to trace you. To find out what your provider can do for you, simply turn off your phone and call them. Tell them it's lost somewhere in the house, and ask them if they can call or beep you.

There are probably a dozen more things you could do, and hundreds of good suggestions like taking mace with you, but I just don't have time at the moment. Gotta get to work. Lots of luck.

-SD-

(in reply to kc692)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Meeting new master - 6/6/2005 9:05:20 AM

jenna696

Posts: 7
Joined: 5/30/2005
From: birmingham
Status: offline

Thank you for the advice i have read it through and i agree with you all

Many thanks

(in reply to SadistDave)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Meeting new master - 6/6/2005 11:48:59 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

Here are just a few of the many threads about first meetings:

first meeting guidelines

how does one protect themselves....

playing on a first meeting

first meeting protocol

thrill vs danger on first meeting

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to jenna696)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Meeting new master - 6/8/2005 9:59:19 AM

AlphaGeek

Posts: 86
Joined: 8/22/2004
From: Charlottesville, VA, but in Orlando for a temp job
Status: offline

In no particular order....

1. meet in a public place

2. arrange a safe call

3. ask for references

4. Get their Real name, address, phone number, vehicle description, license plate. (Yeah I'm paranoid, but guess what? THERE ARE FREAKIN" AXE MURDERERS OUT THERE!)

5. Actually meet someone, maybe even date a few times before calling them your master. (oops, too late on this one for the OP!)

6. Trust your instincts. Use the Force. That little tickle in the back of your head really is worth listening to when your life could potentially be on the line. Always err on the side of caution, so you can come back and tell us how it went!

AG

(in reply to proudsub)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Meeting new master - 6/12/2005 12:25:06 AM

SadistDave

Posts: 801
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

Just a quick note about references: They are largely useless. No one with the wit of a titmouse will give you a bad reference. No predator is going to use his last date rape as a reference. No homewrecker is going to give you the phone number of the last guy, whose life she ruined.

Even honest people will not offer a reference unless they are assured to have a positive impact on their goals. (Well, maybe under truely bizairre circumstances...)

-SD-

(in reply to AlphaGeek)

Profile

Post #: 10