RE: Am I just kidding myself?

RE: Am I just kidding myself? (Full Version)

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slaveish -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/20/2007 11:23:33 AM)
So much advice, so many avenues, so little bandwidth. Let me go at this from another angle. This is online only. You know he is married. You know you will never meet him. You are jealous of this other girl. If it does not bother you that you will never meet him, and if you can continue to think he is the whipped topping on a dessert straight from heaven, then don't think about the rest. Wrap yourself in the luxury of his attention when you have it, daydream about it when you don't. But get it firmly fixed in your head that this is a ~fantasy~ and not reality. Do not get the two confused. Do not think he will suddenly appear at your doorstep to whisk you away from your current situation. And if he did ... would you be jealous of his computer?

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/20/2007 11:25:55 AM)
i can only speak from my personal experience where i have been in your shoes blinded with golden stars in my eyes for someone here on CM ...he's married (though it was an unhappy one) with a UM with the same medical condition as my oldest. we fell head over heels for each other in a matter of weeks even though we had to sneak around to chat online very late in the evening. long story short - i broke it off when it became very clear there was no chance of him leaving his wife ...plus realizing it wouldn't work out between us because i would be blaming myself for breaking up their marriage no matter if it was unhappy or not. already went through that experience with my ex, myself and his 1st wife (which he's currently and legally still married to ...something i didn't know about) ...i didn't want to go through it again. hope my tale helps you ...my advice - get out now.

KatyLied -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/20/2007 12:04:54 PM)
~fr~ I wonder why anyone would want to attempt to build a life with a cheater. Don't you think they eventually will cheat on you too? The pattern is set, it's there, it's pretty obvious. There are exceptions, of course, but for me it would give me a huge pause and make me consider that perhaps that person is not the best relationship risk.

Neeka -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/20/2007 1:11:04 PM)
thankyou so much for your understanding please read the dripping sarcasm I spoke with him at length this morning and he had not realised the extent of how much this was hurting me so he has released me. He did the right thing and we parted on the best terms possible in such a situation. While many of you will no doubt pull a muscle rolling your eyes and snorting in judgement, just remember that we all started somewhere. That many of us were lost when we first discovered who we are and it is the intial people that we meet like Him that may very well set the tone for all of our D/s lives. He is a man caught in an impossible situation and he handled himself well. Red, I thank you for your insightful comments and the time you took to respond to what obviously seemed so foolish in most of your eyes. Your are a very wise woman and I thankyou for your help. It was your words more than others that gave me pause. annare, you are a love and I thank you for your kind words of encouragement. You are right...I need to look after myself, no one else will. For those of you who do ridicule online relationships....for some of us...like myself living in the north in an isolated community its all we have. and now...I think I will go back to reading about D/s and leave the experiencing of it to those of you who are lucky enough to get the chance to be who you are. goodluck to you all

KatyLied -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/20/2007 1:23:27 PM)
quote: He is a man caught in an impossible situation and he handled himself well. Yep, we're gonna judge him. He's playing on-line games hoping his wife won't catch him. I hope you can see you are better off without him and better off with a chance of finding someone who conducts his life in a more open and honest manner.

maybemaybenot -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/20/2007 1:40:56 PM)
Neeka: While online relationships are definately not my style, many of the comments were not as much about online as about a dead end, nowhere relationship. And about your jealousy of a * ghost * of a person, when the man in question has a real live warm fuzzy body to curl up with every night. I know this was your first post, but when you put it out there, you're going to get lots of different views. Some you will like, some you will not. And this may seem unkind to you, but it is not intended so: You told this man about your feelings, and he dumped you quickly. My guess is that he doesn't want any emotions involved in his online cyber life, just the quick thrill. He reserves them < feelings> for the people he can reach out and touch. I will give him credit for backing out and saving you further pain. I am guessing you live in the Kootenays, since Kelowna and VC have a pretty active scene ? I personally know a few submisives and Dominants from that area, and I live in New England. And yes, I do know that there is almost no lifestyle events in that area. If I am correct and you live in that general area, I did a search here on CM and found one sub and two Doms, perhaps contact them and see if they know of stuff going on or of others in the area that have an interest. mbmbn

annare -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/20/2007 7:18:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Neeka I spoke with him at length this morning and he had not realised the extent of how much this was hurting me so he has released me. He did the right thing and we parted on the best terms possible in such a situation. While many of you will no doubt pull a muscle rolling your eyes and snorting in judgement, just remember that we all started somewhere. That many of us were lost when we first discovered who we are and it is the intial people that we meet like Him that may very well set the tone for all of our D/s lives. He is a man caught in an impossible situation and he handled himself well. It's obvious that your feelings were quite strong for this Man and so i won't go about telling you how much He took advantage of you... The truth is that none of us know anything about Him apart from the fact that He is married... for all W/we know His wife could be in a coma (Lord forbid). i'll just say that i'm glad that things ended well in your eyes and that you were able to honestly communicate your feelings to Him in a way that led to your release. i know it may not feel like it right now but it was probably the best for B/both of Y/you. quote: ORIGINAL: Neeka annare, you are a love and I thank you for your kind words of encouragement. You are right...I need to look after myself, no one else will. blushing thank you for the very kind words and you're always welcome to my words of encouragement, my email is open to you any time. And although it is important for your to look out for yourself, don't sell yourself short, you are valuable and lovely and some day you will find One who will look after you better than you ever could. quote: ORIGINAL: Neeka For those of you who do ridicule online relationships....for some of us...like myself living in the north in an isolated community its all we have. and now...I think I will go back to reading about D/s and leave the experiencing of it to those of you who are lucky enough to get the chance to be who you are. Please don't give up just because you may be in a remote part of the country that has no community. i live in a lifestyle hub and yet have never been to a single event, munch, or play party. i also had to bite my tongue when reading the ridicule of online relationships as my current Master lives several states away. While W/we are planning on meeting in the real, it is not something that will happen for a while and for now, online is all W/we have. Realize that you have options, online can be a wonderful venue for learning about the lifestyle and finding Those that you otherwise never would have found. i hope that you will be able to realize the joy of serving "in the real"... to One who will appreciate what it is that you have to offer. i'm hoping it for me right along with you. in service, annare

angelic -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/20/2007 7:44:43 PM)
Hi Neeka and welcome to the board. Do not let a few turn you from this site. It is a good one and there are a great many good people here. Yes, as in real life there are assholes. They know nothing more than how to ridicule, it is where their comfort level is. Take heart and grow a thick skin and you will be just fine. :)

subsfaith -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/21/2007 4:27:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Neeka Is it possible to overcome jealousy in a D/s relationship? Hi Neeka, Firstly, a warm welcome to you. It appears that your other questions have been answered, so shutting the stable door after the horse has bolted seems pointless, which leaves the above outstanding question. "Jealousy denotes a feeling of resentment that another has gained something that one more rightfully deserves: to feel jealousy when a coworker receives a promotion. Jealousy also refers to anguish caused by fear of unfaithfulness. " [Dictionay.com] Given the above definition, and by personal experience, overcoming jealousy is completely achievable in a D/s relationship by achieving a higher level of security, which takes both time and increasing levels of trust. Faith :: smiles ::

shyinini -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/21/2007 5:01:40 PM)
Neeka, Several questions.... What do you want? How can you really love a man you have never seen/met? A man you will never get to enjoy the rest of your life with? If that is what you even want? This other sub you are jealous of..... Is she is online sub as well? But you know her in real life? If you have only met her online, where does the jealousy stem from? I would think he wife gets less time with him than both of you. I am not sure what waht you mean by when we all play together,.... as in cam2cam?? 3 way cam2cam? How can that really be together? I am not sure that you might be experiencing some sort of severe subdrop because of non physical invovlement.......... Maybe you just need to find a monagoumous dom in real life. Your profile being empty, possibly you have all that you desire? But now conflicted that this man is some "sort" of a poly dom, a man off limits and your frustration is getting to you. OK, I'll stop "anyalizing"..............good luck Neeka Sir's cumslut

onegoodgirl -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/22/2007 11:06:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dragone This IS online ? Then, it is shit, nothing; you can write anything, be anyone, do anything, with no accountability, no danger of real encounters or responsibilty whatsoever. Online is a swamp of liars, cheats, exploiters of every shape, size, fashion. Are you so hungry for a relationship that you've given yourself to this ...fantasy? You are really just as screwed in the head as this so-called master of your imagination. You've fallen in love with your own imaginative creation, of what you idealize as your perfect true love relationship. The same thing as falling in love with an on screen hollywood star. It is all in your brain? Why are you posting this? It's a bullshit, go nowhere, do nothing situation. There are plenty of real life goings-on to take up your time, and energies, but you must get wet on this fabrication of yours, and enjoy it emensely. Get a life...a real life. Speaking of which, I must get on with mine. Ask your master (ahem) to beat you with a whip, dipped in oil, studded with barbs, all over your body, your tits, nipples, pussy, stomach, ass, thighs, with all his power, letting the barbs bite into your flesh, dragging and pulling the skin apart, over and over again, let the lash crash against your flesh. You can replie, ohhh, ahhh, I beg you stop, I can't take more, ohhh, ahhhh. Yeah right. Harsh.. lol - I was really feeling the barbs.. (Can you see my flesh tear and bleed?) ohh ohhh.. oohhh my god I'm laughing my ass off. Too much!

aSlavesLife -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/22/2007 11:15:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: dragone This IS online ? Then, it is shit, nothing; you can write anything, be anyone, do anything, with no accountability, no danger of real encounters or responsibilty whatsoever. Online is a swamp of liars, cheats, exploiters of every shape, size, fashion. Are you so hungry for a relationship that you've given yourself to this ...fantasy? You are really just as screwed in the head as this so-called master of your imagination. You've fallen in love with your own imaginative creation, of what you idealize as your perfect true love relationship. The same thing as falling in love with an on screen hollywood star. It is all in your brain? Why are you posting this? It's a bullshit, go nowhere, do nothing situation. There are plenty of real life goings-on to take up your time, and energies, but you must get wet on this fabrication of yours, and enjoy it emensely. Get a life...a real life. Speaking of which, I must get on with mine. Ask your master (ahem) to beat you with a whip, dipped in oil, studded with barbs, all over your body, your tits, nipples, pussy, stomach, ass, thighs, with all his power, letting the barbs bite into your flesh, dragging and pulling the skin apart, over and over again, let the lash crash against your flesh. You can replie, ohhh, ahhh, I beg you stop, I can't take more, ohhh, ahhhh. Yeah right. While getting up after falling out of my chair laughing, I used the opportunity to give you a standing ovation. I couldn't agree with you more. Owner of slave L

MagiksSlave -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/23/2007 12:47:58 AM)
Im just not sure how you could be in love with someone you have never met?? Jelouse of this other "pet" but not the wife who actually is with this man... oh and she is sooo lucky isnt she ((rolls her eyes)) Magik's slave

slaveish -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/23/2007 10:16:27 AM)
Neeka, as you have seen, most posters are completely against cheating and completely against online. I am against neither - people do what people will do. Nothing is inherently good or bad - ~people~ give the labels, the universe does not. I know what you are feeling is real but you are going to have to come to terms with your situation. If you cannot tolerate feeling alone or feeling jealous of his other pet, the only thing to do is let go, and believe me I know how hard it can be. Get out in the sunshine, make a daisy chain, paint someone's portrait, do something to create peace within your own soul. If you still want to interact with this man, do it. No one can stop you. Do what you think is best for yourself. If you don't do what you believe to be best for you (and I do not know what that is since I am not you) do what makes yo feel peaceful for that amount of time. I wish you well.

becca333 -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/23/2007 11:06:37 PM)
Neeka, all you really know about this guy is that he's prepared to lie and cheat to get what he wants. Not really fine qualities. He used you and at least one other netnymph to get his rocks off, and he released you when you started to be a problem. He's probably had a series of girls, and keeps at least two at any given moment so he's never without entertainment. Don't use him as the standard to judge others. It's not impossible to find someone, despite being in a small town. Even if you can't find 24/7 yet, you could find someone online that you can meet now and then. But set your standards higher than a cheating, selfish rat. He's not Dom you can respect. His only skill is the ability to type with one hand. You said you were jealous of his other girl/s online - how do you think his wife will feel when she finally catches him out? You don't want to be part of that. I wish you well in your search. There's some really great guys out there, Dom or vanilla, and all shades between. Find someone worth all that caring, someone who'll really care for you.

michaelOfGeorgia -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/23/2007 11:14:07 PM)
sometimes i wonder if we're all kidding ourselves

Sinergy -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/23/2007 11:37:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia sometimes i wonder if we're all kidding ourselves Only sometimes? Sinergy

Neeka -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/24/2007 3:02:03 PM)
Im so glad that my stumbling beginings were of such entertainment to some of you. I guess we all get our jollies in different ways...for some of you its kicking someone while they are down. How very courageous and ultra special of you.

slaveish -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/24/2007 3:46:39 PM)
Take this small chastisement for what it is worth, girl. Stop laying your sore feelings on others. Grow from the experience and move on.

Sinimint -> RE: Am I just kidding myself? (6/24/2007 7:11:03 PM)
My post for one, wasnt about "your stumbling beginnings", your post was in no way entertaining, and it gave me absolutely no jollies whatsoever. But if you are going to post something like that be ready for different comments from a wide variety of people. Your last comment there "how very courageous and ultra special of you" just screams immaturity. You cant take peoples honesty???? Then dont come onto the forums!!! Simple as that. Otherwise take it with a grain of salt, pick out the bits you agree with and dont knock what others say. It is rude of you to come back and be sarcastic like that. People were trying to help. I just think people in general do not like cheating. Being the ex wife of a cheater online and in real life I understand completely. Dont be nasty. We're just here to offer comments.

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