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RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/20/2007 10:29:56 PM   
stella40


Posts: 417
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: London, UK
Status: offline 		What's that saying about the pot and the kettle again?

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(in reply to ron2421)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/20/2007 11:36:50 PM   
susie


Posts: 1699
Joined: 11/21/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ron2421

To Juliaoceania:
You're right about other "vanilla" dating sites with people coming across as "neurotic lovelorn desperados with baggage."  Nevertheless, they still come across as kindly saints compared to some here on Collarme.

To Pandoravampire: It's a sad day on Collarme when one has to, like you say, resort to being unfriendly and insulting to others as the only way to ward off perceived undesirables.
Try other methods.
For one, don't write a profile that you yourself wouldn't care to read or respond to.


Perhaps you miss the point a bit. There are many here that are not looking for a response to their profile which is why they write in the way they do. I am one of those. I have tried many different versions from "Owned and not looking" "seeking friends only" "only here for the fora" and the current totally blank profile. None of these have stopped the constant emails from males, either Dominant or submissive emailing me. Tempting though it is sometimes to say "F Off everyone" I don't think it would go down very well. I think the difference between us is that you are looking for interaction with people here and are viewing this as a dating site. Some like me are not interested in meeting anyone and are using this an information site.

Take a look at why these profiles are making you angry. Angry is a very strong emotion to get from some words on a page from someone you do not know.

(in reply to ron2421)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/20/2007 11:41:01 PM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Maybe if everyone one the site was nice then people could have a nice profile.

But when you get message upon message from stupid little shits saying they want to "torture" you or "do you like cumplay" or calling you a "slut" right off the bat sometimes you have to lay down the law and tell peopel to fuck off.

Yeah you get a lot more flies with honey, but too many of the flies on this site are annoying pervs.

(in reply to susie)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/21/2007 5:27:07 AM   
ron2421


Posts: 37
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline 		Thanks for all the responses.
However, I don't think many of them are addressing my argument (I blame myself for perhaps not wording clearly enough).

No matter what people want to communicate to people, telling them the kinds of people they want to meet, the kinds they don't want to meet, maybe a desire keep away "the wankers", and "the pervs" etc. isn't there is a way to do it in a humane and polite manner?
No one should have to be demonstrably rude, insulting, bitchy, nasty condescending and etc. I would even go as far as to suggest if people represent themselves in this way, they'll only attract more of the very same. Perception becomes reality.
There's a place where one expects to find angry and insulting commentary, such as political blogs.
I would hope Collarme profiles would be more cordial and friendly...less mean-spirited.
Some responses here are right though. One way for kinder, gentler folk to avoid belligerent, rude or angry profiles is to simply stop reading them.

< Message edited by ron2421 -- 6/21/2007 5:35:29 AM >

(in reply to Usako)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/21/2007 5:35:49 AM   
Absolutemaster


Posts: 79
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline 		If people don't like my profile, then they can bugger off.  If they don't like it, then they won't like me.

If they DO like it, then they might have what I'm looking for.

Why write a profile that doesn't accurately portray the relationship on offer and the person behind it?  What?  You want me to lie?

(in reply to ron2421)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/21/2007 5:37:27 AM   
Absolutemaster


Posts: 79
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline 		And who the f**k reset my posts count and made me Vanilla again???

(in reply to Absolutemaster)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/21/2007 5:37:50 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		Just wondering, could some of the profiles you have been reading belong to people who are interested in particular kinks including humiliation, objectification or male/female supremacy to name a few kinks?  I imagine that some of the people who are attracted by what is written and how it is written on their profile would have similar interests. 

I definitely believe in politeness and killing people with kindness rather than a sledgehammer however after numerous rewrites of my profile and continuing to receive replies from people who have obviously not read it in detail I am going to be a tad blunter.  At the end of the day though I can skip profiles that I do not like, I can delete emails and I can switch off my computer so life is good.

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(in reply to ron2421)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/21/2007 5:42:38 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		If you have been a particularly bad boy, they can and will keep you vanilla forever.




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(in reply to Absolutemaster)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/21/2007 5:43:06 AM   
Absolutemaster


Posts: 79
Joined: 9/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ron2421

No one should have to be demonstrably rude, insulting, bitchy, nasty condescending and etc.



Very true.  However, being demonstrably rude, insulting, bitchy, nasty, condescending etc is sometimes the only way of impressing upon the dim-witted arsehole men, married women and cyber players who read my profile that I DON'T WANT TO HEAR FROM THEM.

In order to communicate effectively, it is necessary to speak to people on their level.  And the level of many people on here is pretty damn low.

(Apologies to anyone with an IQ of over 100 and a genuine desire for BDSM who felt compelled to read my post.)

(in reply to ron2421)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/21/2007 5:46:46 AM   
givemyall


Posts: 620
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline 		I think my profile has offended the odd few because of my very strange sense of humour and sarcasm (lowest form of wit... I know, thats before someone tells me!), but it makes sense for me to be honest with people.  What would the point be of someone writing to me that couldn't deal with or want to deal with the way I am

(in reply to ron2421)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/21/2007 6:20:34 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		My profile is a little blunt and to the point.  This is an email exchange I had just the other day...
him: Hello.  How are you?
me: I'm fine
him: Do you chat on yahoo?
me:  You say in your profile that you're intelligent.
       Are you?
him: intelligence is relative...do you want to give me and IQ test?
me: Hahaha.  No.
      Just figured that an intelligent man knew how to read profiles and comprehend them.
him: I have found that my charm can break down those boundaries.
me: He's my owner.  I doubt you are that charming.
him: Those boundaries I have found especially vulnerable.  So let's chat about that on yahoo.
me: A+ for effort.  Nope.
him:  do you work or are you at home?

I didn't bother to answer after that.  He would have just kept going and going.  It gets to be ridiculous after a point and a reminder why I usually don't answer those "Hello how are you " emails.

I wish domiguy would finally stop emailing me with his drivel.

(in reply to ron2421)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/21/2007 6:24:58 AM   
diz


Posts: 1076
Joined: 9/6/2006
Status: offline 		I get mail all the time from male slaves and submissives asking me to be there Mistress....... folk do not really read what you put......

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/21/2007 6:26:39 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mikal

What makes you think the people here should be any different from those in other walks of life? Unfriendly, narcissistic and emotionally unstable people exist in all social groups. Also, if this site is going to be the be-all or end-all of a persons foray into BDSM... they have bigger problems than just coming across some unsociable profiles...

If you don't like the tone of someone's profile, don't continue reading.





Exactly right! I totally agree.

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(in reply to Mikal)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/21/2007 7:00:44 AM   
Mikal


Posts: 3673
Status: offline 		I just love it when people agree with me... such a nice warm fuzzy feeling... *grins*

To the OP: I think you're also reading too much into a persons profile. I've perused many (most from posters), and I can't say I've ever found any to be offensive... not to my taste, certainly, but not rude. Blunt, upfront, not candy coated, etc. is not a bad thing. It may just not be your thing.

Get over it.


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(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/21/2007 7:18:55 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		for awhile i would get the weirdos (do you like newspapers, little girl? or the next time you and your Daddy fuck, may i join you? ), or the very desperate (i love you soooooo much ...i want to kidnap you) or the downright rude (i can't wait to fuck you black pussy and have you call me Master) in my inbox and bulk mail.  it's nice not having messages like those in ( )s clogging my mailbox anymore.



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(in reply to ron2421)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/21/2007 7:23:45 AM   
LadyOpinx


Posts: 35
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: givemyall

I think my profile has offended the odd few...but it makes sense for me to be honest with people.  What would the point be of someone writing to me that couldn't deal with or want to deal with the way I am



I think this is the main point here. 

People have as many types of personalities as there are stars in the sky.

My personal view is to accept that while everyone may be different, Everyone is Precious.

Even when they are wearing their Scary Mask to frighten trolls.


*Bright Blessings*

Lady O.
(who fights being jaded daily...and so far has won *smiles*)

< Message edited by LadyOpinx -- 6/21/2007 7:24:20 AM >

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"Every person, all the events in your life are there because you have drawn them there...What you choose to do with them is up to you." ~~~Richard Bach, "Illusions"

(in reply to givemyall)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/21/2007 7:26:52 AM   
drawntothedark


Posts: 572
Joined: 10/19/2006
From: Arkansas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

for awhile i would get the weirdos (do you like newspapers, little girl?



OMG the crazy newspaper guy! I had almost forgotten about him!

To the OP: My profile used to be very sweet. Then that sweetness backfired on me. Now I find the direct "I'm not looking.......yes that means I'm not looking for you" approach is much better. Call it bitchy if you must but it has cut down on the unwanted emails.

Personally I really don't care if someone reads my profile and takes offence. My friends here know me and know that I'm actually a nice person. Posters in the forums know that it's a way to deter wankers and they are okay with it. Anyone else who gets offened should probably read some ones elese profile.

The only person who I care about as far as changing my profile goes is Justin. As long as he is cool with it I'm not changing a thing. It works (less wankers and trolls). Infact he is the one who suggested that I word it a bit firmer.

And I usually do follow through with the thinking you catch more flies with honey - but in this case - I don't want to catch anything (let alone flies)

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/21/2007 7:27:08 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		At first I couldn't figure out why a guy sent me a message that read "have you received your newspaper this morning?"
Then I realized his name was newspaperboy.

I like getting initial messages like this:
I like the:  "I'm a strong, strict, real Master, do you yahoo?"



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(in reply to LadyOpinx)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/21/2007 7:30:41 AM   
MyMasterStephen


Posts: 219
Joined: 8/16/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: givemyall

I think my profile has offended the odd few because of my very strange sense of humour and sarcasm (lowest form of wit... I know, thats before someone tells me!), but it makes sense for me to be honest with people.  What would the point be of someone writing to me that couldn't deal with or want to deal with the way I am



I have followed your profile with great interest, and have always considered it to be one of the best on here.

More power to your elbow, and other bodily parts...

(in reply to givemyall)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Too many insulting profiles found on Collarme - 6/21/2007 9:34:19 AM   
QuietlySeeking


Posts: 297
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		If you received several hundred e-mails a day who did not match your stated requirements, I'm sure that you would eventually adopt a more cynical/in-your-face attitude as well.  If you didn't, I hope you enjoy your second full-time job.

Time to put our "big boy pants" back on.

(in reply to stella40)
Profile   Post #: 40
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