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Emperor1956 -> Another Take On Criminal Background Checks (6/20/2007 9:35:48 PM)
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Well I've skimmed the lengthy threads on Criminal Background Checks (lets call 'em CBC to save pixels), and what I don't see (although some touch on it) is any analysis or even understanding of WHAT A CBC SHOULD BE.
I'm not going to revisit the entire "do it/don't do it" debate. I just want to ask what the people who advocate doing a cbc on a prospect think they are getting? And I'll advance a theory: Those that talk big about doing background checks either don't know what they are getting, and are being scammed and paying for crap information, or they are scamming all of us when they say they do CBCs, because they have no clue what a valid CBC would look like, and how to access one.
You have two major problems with CBCs. First, the only halfway decent databases are closed off to the general public. Second, the data even the best CBC databases hold is old, incomplete and suspect. Allow me to elaborate (oh, yes, Sir E. Please DO!).
The key national databases are The Interstate Identification Index, which maintains information on criminal history; the National Crime Information Center, which maintains information on protective orders, active arrest warrants, and immigration violations; and the NICS Index (the major file), which maintains information provided by federal, state, and local agencies on persons prohibited from possessing firearms and explosives. All of these are maintained by the FBI, which is VERY serious about keeping the data out of the hands of those who shouldn't have it.
It is a crime to access the accurate State and Federal data bases for anything but approved purposes. (Does anyone see the delicious irony of people becoming criminals in order to check out if the people they want to meet are criminals? But I digress.) Checking out your next fuck buddy is not on the list of approved purposes...golly gee. Only authorized law enforcement persons, and certain limited designated individuals (the largest group of which is Federal Firearms Licensees and similar folks, like explosive vendors and explosive licence examiners) are allowed to access the databases. And ONLY for permitted purposes. If your fuckbuddy the cop tells you he'll check out your next friend, he's breaking the law and can lose his job, and the ability to do that job anywhere in the USA, or he's lying to you (I'm betting on the lie). So if you are getting accurate data, you are either in this limited group AND doing authorized searches, or you are breaking the law.
Now, the second problem. There is NO publicly available database (online, in-person or otherwise) that checks criminal activities on a person in all of the jurisdictions in the USA. Hell, there are states where the data isn't available even for the entire state in one place! Several states keep criminal conviction data by township or county ONLY. Some centralize warrants (makes it easier to get a guy wanted in, for example, Pittsburgh but living in Philly) but actually convictions require a county by county search in many States. Arrests? Hah! you can't find accurate arrest records often even within counties.
So lets say you are smitten with MasterOhSoClean, and you decide he is your one twue Dom. You chat and chat. You KNOW he's the one. but...there's that little niggling earworm that says "sweetie...your judgement isn't too good...remember the blue eyeliner debacle? Maybe you should do a CBC on the dreamboat?" Now when you buy that CBC on MasterOhSoClean, you have NO clue what you are getting. Even if he's honest and gives you his real SS, address, picture, mother's maiden name and day of first nocturnal emission, when you go to check on a legitimate public database (like a courthouse record), you will at BEST get the criminal convictions (and arrests, warrants, orders of protection...maybe) for that one local jurisdiction. So MasterOhSoClean shows up great in West Virginia, but you have no way of accessing his record in Washington, where he lived for the previous 30 years, unless you know his Washington details. (by the way, his record in Washington includes his convictions for pederasty, rape and jaywalking, for which he drew 30-life). Do you check every jurisdiction? HA. I think at last count, county-by-county was in the nature of 5300 separate searches, many which require an in-person visit.
If that isn't enough...lets say you really DO reach the Holy Grail...and you have access to the NCIS. Go ahead, bucko (or buckette), tell me how many States this incredible FEDERAL database covers? Come on....50? 52 (Wash DC and Puerto Rico?) Uh....no. last time I checked only 27 US States provided information to the NCIS register. uhhhhh yeppers. 27 (I forget if its now 26....Georgia dropped out). The other guys, well they are what we call POC (point of contact) States....that means....well...by the time I tell you what it means, Mr. Wonderful has run thru your savings AND your panties, and to say goodbye, he rogered the dog, too.
My point: Those of you pontificating about the importance of CBCs don't have an effing clue what you are talking about.
Fondly,
E.
(who has a record longer than Domidong's moniker...but it is in Hebrew, and accessible only by circumcised Mossad agents who read left-to-right.)
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