.rules.rituals.structure. (Full Version)

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RCdc -> .rules.rituals.structure. (6/21/2007 11:07:47 AM)

After reading some of the threads I wanted to ask if people would give their 'definition' and examples of the difference between rules, rituals and structure.  I have seen them all compared into being exactly the same thing by some, by others I have seen them used as seperate entities.  To me they are all seperate.  Rules being how things should/will be.  Rituals being how they are.  And Structure being as it is. (If that makes any sense to anyone other than me[;)]).
 
So - my questions are.
 
  • What is the difference between/ personal definition of rituals, rules and structure.
  • Do you want/already have in place all/some/none pertaining to your relationships.
  • What are your best/favourite examples of these three.
 
Peace
the.dark.



slaveish -> RE: .rules.rituals.structure. (6/21/2007 11:14:03 AM)

Rituals are the things we do to put us in a particular mindset. They are repeated actions.

Rules are rules. Some rules might include ritualistic behavior. Breaking rules or adhering to them should be consistent. The consistency is what helps give us structure. Structure is what helps us know what to expect of our actions and inactions.

Examples ... mm. It seems too personal to me and I defer at this time.



RCdc -> RE: .rules.rituals.structure. (6/21/2007 11:17:49 AM)

 
Thanks so much for your input slaveish - I am glad you participated as much as you felt comfortable with.
 
Peace
the.dark.



MasterFireMaam -> RE: .rules.rituals.structure. (6/21/2007 11:29:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
  • What is the difference between/ personal definition of rituals, rules and structure.
  • Do you want/already have in place all/some/none pertaining to your relationships.
  • What are your best/favourite examples of these three.


#1:
Ritual - an action or series of actions that has spiritual significance.
Rules - a law, code or guideline that dictates acceptable behavior.
Structure - the enforcement of the above.

#2:
Yes, I have things in place.

#3:
Ritual - An example would be Presenting. The first thing the slave does is take the appropriate stance. The second thing is to center, or ground, themselves. The third is to look up into my eyes and say, "Ma'am, yes Ma'am" when they are ready to be in service, or ready to be continued about their lives. This makes them mindful of their service and mindfulness is a spiritual process.

Rules - An example would be WHEN to Present. First coherant greeting of the day, when they are leaving my presence for an extended period of time and at the end of the day.

Structure - Making sure the Present is done. This can actually be enforced by me or the slave. It's nice when they remember and do it without being told.

Presenting and the whole "Ma'am, yes Ma'am" thing just never ever gets old to me. It feeds my Master side and thrills me each and every time, especially when I get to look in their eyes as they say it. *sigh*

Master Fire



slaverosebeauty -> RE: .rules.rituals.structure. (6/21/2007 11:43:37 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

  • What is the difference between/ personal definition of rituals, rules and structure.
 
Rituals ~ are things that are done on a regular basis or done as part of a daily routine, or even as part of a scene or during playtime.
 
Rules ~ those are by which I am 'governed' and those 'things' that I must remember to keep on track. They are rules.
 
Structure ~ Thats what keeps the rules and rituals together as well as the relationship. Its what gives me comfort and what guides our relationship to some extent.
 
 
quote:

  • Do you want/already have in place all/some/none pertaining to your relationships.
 
MJ an I do have a few bit of each already, we are working on more of each and creating 'our' relationship based on those things and on each of us. I thrive on those above mentioned things, and MJ knows that and likes the idea of having more and of incorperting those things into our relationship as things progress.
 
quote:

  • What are your best/favourite examples of these three.
Fav rules {giggles} ~ no doing :P at MJ [on IM or on the phone]; be open and honest with eachother even when frusturated or upset.
 
Rituals ~  We don't really have many at the moment, probably our biggest or closest thing to any ritual would be, is asking what eachother did that day, what plans are for the week or weekend; when I get online I give a :* to Him.
 
Structure ~ We are working on that. We don't live together, so our 'structure' is kinda different. MJ an I talk about everything, so nothing gets in the way; we have a few things that we are working on as far as 'stucture' goes for when we see eachother next month and we will go over those things at that time; right now, we are focusing on us as a couple.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: .rules.rituals.structure. (6/21/2007 11:51:27 AM)

Ritual- an action or set of actions used to call up or remember a particular feeling, usually done in relation to a set time/event

Example:  Lighting a menorah at Hannukah

Rule- I'll go with the dictionary on this one and say that in this context it means "a principle or regulation governing conduct, action, procedure, arrangement, etc."  Rules can be used in rituals :)

Example:  No bread after 10 pm

Structure- I'll also go with the dictionary on this and say "The interrelation or arrangement of parts in a complex entity"

Example:  Though we've never discussed this TV show before, I have reason to believe he will like it and, due to prior similar experiences, set the DVR to record it for us to watch and enjoy together



Mercnbeth -> RE: .rules.rituals.structure. (6/21/2007 12:02:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

After reading some of the threads I wanted to ask if people would give their 'definition' and examples of the difference between rules, rituals and structure.  I have seen them all compared into being exactly the same thing by some, by others I have seen them used as seperate entities.  To me they are all seperate.  Rules being how things should/will be.  Rituals being how they are.  And Structure being as it is. (If that makes any sense to anyone other than me[;)]).
 
So - my questions are.
 
  • What is the difference between/ personal definition of rituals, rules and structure.
  • Do you want/already have in place all/some/none pertaining to your relationships.
  • What are your best/favourite examples of these three.
 
Peace
the.dark.

to answer question #1
general personal definitions
Rules:  Master's wishes-- things that He has decided will or will not be and His preferred protocol for certain situations.
 
Rituals:  the way the rules are memorized and the way some are adhered to or performed.
 
structure:  the boundaries of Master's wishes spelled out by the rules and re-inforced with the rituals.
 
question #2
yes
 
question #3
Rule:  Master will use His slave as He wishes.
 
Ritual:  Memorize above rule and incorporate that into daily activities, in short...be prepared to be on call, 24/7 for anything Master might have in mind for her to do/be for Him, outside of the daily instructions she might have for a variety of tasks.  If anyone else desires use of Master's slave, for any reason...they MUST get His approval, first.
 
structure:  this slave is always in submission to Master...at the ready to please Him regardless of circumstances, if that is His wish.  within this structure, other's influence of or desire of this slave for any reason are at His discretion and as He wishes. 



Wildfleurs -> RE: .rules.rituals.structure. (6/21/2007 12:08:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

After reading some of the threads I wanted to ask if people would give their 'definition' and examples of the difference between rules, rituals and structure.  I have seen them all compared into being exactly the same thing by some, by others I have seen them used as seperate entities.  To me they are all seperate.  Rules being how things should/will be.  Rituals being how they are.  And Structure being as it is. (If that makes any sense to anyone other than me[;)]).
 
So - my questions are.
 
  • What is the difference between/ personal definition of rituals, rules and structure.
  • Do you want/already have in place all/some/none pertaining to your relationships.
  • What are your best/favourite examples of these three.
 
Peace
the.dark.



To me a ritual would be the same action done with the same frequency at a perscribed time/date/location (such as going to visit someones grave every Sunday with flowers).

A rule is a specific directive to do something that re-occurs (if my boss gave me a rule that every Friday morning we had to meet to go over the progress on projects).

Structure is the overall framework of the relationship, like the frame of a house.

Examples of the three?  I used to have a ritual of doing a particular act before I went to bed and then sending my owner a prayer he developed for me with the Xth letter capitalized depending on the day of the week (on Sundays X=1, Mondays X=2, so on Mondays every second letter in the prayer was capitalized).  A rule that my owner recently gave me is to go to the gym at least twice a week.  Structure is a bit to complex to try to describe because to me it would be the basic philosophy and practices of the relationship that create the framework that is his ownership of me.

C~



kyraofMists -> RE: .rules.rituals.structure. (6/21/2007 3:05:14 PM)

Rule (which we refer to as Standing Orders) is what I am instructed to do or not do.  These define the boundaries of my behavior.

Structure is the pattern of how my life and my relationship is organized.

Ritual is a repeated pattern of behavior that has emotional/spiritual significance.

A term that we use a lot is protocol and it is how the rules are to be carried out.  Protocol defines how I am to behave.

A favorite ritual is the ritual we do for bed.  Whether I am sleeping with him or not, I kneel at the foot of the bed and I am given permission to sleep in a bed for that night and I thank him for the privilege.  It is a moment in our day where we make time to reconnect with each other.  When things prevent this ritual from happening we both feel a little off-center for the night.

A favorite rule is that I am required to use hand signals to request permission to ask a question, give information or offer an opinion.  The protocol for this rule defines what the hand signals are and how I am to use them.  This is gratifying for me on many levels.  One is that I know when I start speaking, he will more likely than not be paying attention to what I am saying.  Another is that the signal is so discrete that many people don't see them and it is unobtrusive to what is going on around us.  Being unobtrusive is something that I consider to be an aspect of quality service.

Knight's Kyra



MaamJay -> RE: .rules.rituals.structure. (6/21/2007 9:16:56 PM)

Rules - the codes that govern my behaviour eg do not rock from side to side while i am speaking, always ask Master's permission before going to the toilet etc.
Rituals - repeated actions that have special significance. Master and i aren't big on those but W/we always have a last kiss at night and first kiss in the morning.
Structure - the general pattern of life eg usual times for meals, my serving Him first, the way i keep His food, drink, plate etc on the right side of mine (Master's always right!), considering Him first and what He may want to do before deciding how i use my free time.

violet[A] aka Maam Jay



earthycouple -> RE: .rules.rituals.structure. (6/22/2007 7:20:41 AM)

Fast Reply

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

 
 
So - my questions are.
 
  • What is the difference between/ personal definition of rituals, rules and structure.
  • Do you want/already have in place all/some/none pertaining to your relationships.
  • What are your best/favourite examples of these three.
 

 
Ritualizing something is what you do with it to make it yours.  It is doing something the same way each and every time. (Kneeling when handing an object)
 
Rules are things like particulars about behavior or tasks.  (May not spend money beyond X amount each week)
 
Structure is creating boundaries and guidelines. (If you don't know ask)
 
I do believe these overlap and have fuzzy gray lines but I do see a difference in them all.  I do have different things in place in my home.  Ritual not so much, though I did just begin a Friday night bathing ritual.



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