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MaamJay -> RE: Training (6/21/2007 10:28:34 PM)
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1. I decide which tasks and behaviours I want to train him in. These could be domestic or personal tasks, or ways I want him to behave.
2. I find out what style of learning he uses - is he visual (learns by seeing it done), auditory (learns by being told how) or kinaesthetic (learns by hands-on doing).
3. I adapt my instruction style initially to suit his best learning mode. For a visual learner I will complete all or part of the task while he watches. Then I tell him to repeat or complete it eg I show him how I like My laundry pegged on the line, putting up one of each kind of item, then leave him to complete the rest. For an auditory learner, I speak a set of instructions, then have him repeat them back to Me before telling him to do the task eg Peg tops where the seam joins the shoulder, skirts by the waistband. Use only one colour of pegs for the one item and don't choose a colour that clashes with the item (eg don't peg a pink item with red pegs). For a kinaesthetic learner, I ask him to peg things as he thinks I might like them (or as prior experience with pegs and washing suggests), then stand by and correct him gently until he is doing it as I want. I adapt My style to his initially because I want him to experience success not failure ... that sets him up with a heart's desire to learn more from Me. It's important that I check and provide feedback when the task is completed.
4. Over time I will use different modes of instruction with him and try to get him to be more versatile as a learner. However, if something isn't going well, I will fall back to his preferred mode of learning to improve the chance of success.
5. I praise a lot and punish little. However, I do correct a lot and expect him to take correction positively, as a chance to learn, rather than negatively, as a rejection of him. I do become frustrated when lessons aren't learned and the correction needs to be repeated more than once. Punishment is withdrawal of some kind - of privileges, of a planned treat, of his free time (when he might now have a research and writing task to do) or of My presence. I do not use impact play as a punishment, ever.
6. I expect him to be genuinely remorseful when he has knowingly stuffed up or disobeyed Me.
7. Over time, as he becomes more competent and confident, I will check tasks less often, showing trust in him that he will have completed them appropriately. However, a spot check is always on the cards, especially if I begin to suspect (from small things I've noticed like the dirt lingering behind the doors, or the amount of time taken) that the task has been done in a slapdash way. The exception is the journal or any set written homework, these are always checked and discussed.
Of course, all of this is predicated on his possessing the DESIRE to learn, and being willing to translate that desire into action ... not all men seem to possess this!
Maam Jay (who knows that the worst thing for a born teacher is someone who refuses to learn!)
PS BDSM play isn't necessarily part of My training, I see it more as a reward for good behaviour, or something I do because I enjoy it. There may be some training aspects to it (such as buttplug training), but it's not a direct part of My training agenda for a good D/s relationship.
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