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MaamJay -> RE: Introducing a sub to new kinds of play (6/25/2007 2:49:14 AM)
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I'd be going for a compromise on the binding ... I wouldn't usually do it with anal play, but if the sub is sure they will feel more comfortable bound, I'd go with loose bindings so he can still wiggle his legs a bit but can't actually kick. My last play sub said he loved being bound and was experienced with anal play and strap on, so I put ankle cuffs on and loosely chained these to the bondage bed so he could move a bit but not too much. Alternatively, bind his 2 legs loosely together but not actually TO anything. Might still give him the feeling he craves. I've tried 3 different positions - him on his stomach, him on his side sort of in a foetal position, and him on his back with his legs up. The latter would be a bit hard to be bound in unless you've got gynaecology stirrups or a suspension harness! I've also found it a bit hard to see what I was doing and it's too uncomfortable for him to hold for a long time.
Either him on stomach or him on side can work, whichever makes the hole more easily visible and accessible to You (varies with the shape of the ass and the actual location of the hole, some are higher, some are lower!) ... make sure he is at a good height so You're not breaking Your back bending over him because this can take a LONG time ... or have something You can sit comfortably on by his side (sitting on the same bed as he is on can be awkward as the extra person distorts the mattress and can cause unexpected motion that could cause problems when You have something inside him). Also make sure there's enough light! It's important that You can see what You're doing AND his reactions too, so this isn't a time for dim mood lighting. I would treat the enema thing separately also, as long as he's emptied his bowels that day and had a good wash, there's not usually anything much to worry about. I ALWAYS use gloves to protect him from scratches and Me from anything that might emerge. DO check if he's allergic to latex though (ooooh so not nice there!) ... if so, You can buy vinyl gloves and allergy to those is much less likely.
Lube, lube and more lube ... just go gently, try the little finger first, or if You find that awkward, just Your index finger, take it slow, talk gently the whole time, reassure and praise. I usually start gliding up and down the crack first with the lube (feels good to most people) then just tickle a bit around the opening ... this may well turn him on a bit which is good. Ask him to bear down or at least concentrate on breathing out as You try to slide the tip in past the sphincter. Remember, this circular muscle is there to keep things in and other things out, so it will likely clamp down when it senses You. Be patient, give it time to relax, tell him to keep breathing ... say Relax! Relax! and see if it loosens a bit. If so, ease in a little more. Report Your progress ... "in up to the first joint, well done!" ... this builds confidence and the sense of success of overcoming nerves. Ask him for feedback as to which angle to move forward in ... it might not be realised that males have a longer anal canal than females. Generally that canal tilts forward towards the front of the body as it goes upwards in a standing person as seen from side on. Then it straightens out and tilts slightly towards the back of the body as it opens up into the rectum. If You're interested in finding the prostate for future "milking" it can be felt through the forward wall of the anal canal at about where it changes direction and starts to straighten up (pretty much a whole finger length in ... closer to the entrance than that You can feel the anal folds). In females the anal canal opens up into the rectum in only a couple of inches. Remember it's not a goal-achieving exercise ... just go as far as You and he feel comfortable with that first time. This may "open the way" (couldn't resist that LOL!) for future explorations!
One extra little thing - with all that lube and activity, it is usual for the sub to have a slightly loose motion the next time, usually a bit sooner than they might normally expect it to be. Can be a good idea to warn him of that and tell him not to wear his best underwear if he doesn't want the skidmarks! Good luck!
Maam Jay aka violet[A]
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