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Playparty Virgin.... - 6/23/2007 7:24:47 AM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		I will be going to my first play party and dungeon soon.  My main goal is to learn but I want to play also.  Any advise or do's or don'ts would be appreciated.  Also, how was your first experience?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Playparty Virgin.... - 6/23/2007 7:37:46 AM   
Driver1961


Posts: 459
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		He dips His lid,

Just try to relax, watch, ask to understand your observations politely, if unsure of protocols ask the door bitch or hostess.

People should be only to willing to assist you- otherwise leave if you feel you are a guppy in a pool of sharks!- to find a nicer pool...

Warm regards, Driver1961- Sir to His loving Wildchild.

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Dance as though nobody is watching!

(in reply to MsPleasure)
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RE: Playparty Virgin.... - 6/23/2007 7:52:43 AM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		I plan to take a sub with me, so that will make things more comfortable. 

(in reply to Driver1961)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Playparty Virgin.... - 6/23/2007 8:50:32 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Hello,

Playparties can seem imposing.  It might help to remember that (almost) everyone there has normal jobs, lives, families, children, bills, etc.  If you approach it with the similar spirit you might approach a Halloween party, you'll probably be fine.

Different parties have different rules.  Talk to one of the co-ordinators of the part, and let them know it's your first time.  They'll probably be more than happy to clue you in as to any house rules.  When in doubt, don't touch unless it's yours.  If someone touches something of yours without permission, let them know or let a co-ordinator know.  A common rule is if someone asks to 'play' with you, you can say yes, no, or maybe.  If you say maybe, they can ask one more time, later. 

All in all, there's nothing to be intimidated about.  It's supposed to be fun!

Stephan


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Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to MsPleasure)
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RE: Playparty Virgin.... - 6/23/2007 9:37:35 AM   
Nosathro


Posts: 3319
Joined: 9/25/2005
From: Orange County, California
Status: offline 		Tal and greetings
 
Usually at the door there is some release that you sign.   I do know that many do not want camera or cell phone with cameras.  The ones I have attended there is a designated social area, any protocols are relaxed and this is where you can meet and talk to people.   If I bring a slave I instruct the slave to refer anyone who asks them to play to me, you may want to do the same.   Now, don't get me wrong, I have read your other thread on chocolate...I would not push it at the party, I am Gorean and I don't push that at parties either.  Just relax, be yourself, ask questions,
You will find most of the people there open and accepting.
 
I wish you well
 
Nosathro
 

_____________________________

"The love of a slave girl is the deepest and most profound love that any woman can give a man. Love makes a woman a man's slave, and the wholeness of that love requires that she be, in truth, his slave." Magicians of Gor, page 31

(in reply to Stephann)
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RE: Playparty Virgin.... - 6/23/2007 10:09:39 AM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		I will probably do more watching than anything at first then participate.  My concern is if its a clean environment and overly aggressive behavior due to alcohol.  As for the thread, Im not there to promote anything but to learn.  If someone likes Delicious Chocolate and wants to play Im sure they will ask.

(in reply to Nosathro)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Playparty Virgin.... - 6/23/2007 12:58:28 PM   
Joseff


Posts: 505
Joined: 6/2/2007
Status: offline 		Most play parties have a basic set of common sense rules geared towards safety, privacy, and legality. Most common are things like: No cameras, No genital to orifice penetration, No bodily fluids, and What you see here or do here stays here when you leave here. Good party coordinators should appraise you of the House rules shortly after you arrive. The parties I attend are social gatherings. They usually consist of such things as food and socializing, maybe a presentation, and open dungeon time. Sometimes they are themed, like for Halloween. Usually, alcahol and drugs are not allowed at these parties.
Joseff

(in reply to MsPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Playparty Virgin.... - 6/23/2007 5:00:54 PM   
farieanne


Posts: 65
Joined: 2/24/2007
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline 		Hi,
Eeveryone seems to have some really good thought and advice. i would like to add a little something. When watching a scene be quiet. Sometimes voices can distract from the scene and ruin the Dom/me and sub/slaves concentration. my Master and i do not play publicly but Wwe have been to a couple private play parties and though Wwe still do not play Wwe have heard people who do complain about people talking to loudly near the scene and it being a distraction. Also for those of Uus watching it was also very annoying. This is just my opinion and i do hope it helps.

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"A woman will always sacrifice herself if you give her the opportunity. It is her favourite form of self-indulgence.” - William Somerset Maugham

(in reply to Joseff)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Playparty Virgin.... - 6/23/2007 6:04:59 PM   
LadyHeart


Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		We have been running play parties for five years now. The best guide is to behave with good manners at all times. This means that you seek out the organisers when you arrive and ask about any protocols you need to be aware of, and whether there are Dungeon Masters. The DM's have the authority to ask you to move out of the way, be quiet, stop your scene etc, so you need to know who they are, or you might react badly to a total stranger giving you orders. Some Dungeons also require you to notify the DM if you are going to attempt any edge play (so find out what classifies as edge play, as this varies from Dungeon to Dungeon).

No matter how experienced you think you are, you may see some things that scare or repulse you. The thing to remember is that the people doing them are enjoying them and you need to keep your opinions to yourself. Look away if you don't like what you see. Keep quiet when people are playing, and give them plenty of space - a flogger's length, in fact. Most people don't mind respectful questions after a scene, but wait till they've had time to come down from their high. What happens in the Dungeon stays in the Dungeon. Don't talk about it afterwards or you'll get yourself a bad name.

One more thing - even if you think you're just going to observe, take your gear anyway. How many times have we heard people cursing that they left it behind thinking they weren't going to play. The first time I went to a party with my Master, we were so thrilled to see all that wonderful equipment that we couldn't resist playing, but he had nothing with him except his belt. He took it off and used that, hehehe.

Most play parties are very well run, but if you have the bad luck to strike one that isn't, try not to let it put you off. Just keep looking till you find something more congenial. Enjoy!

:))
LH

< Message edited by LadyHeart -- 6/23/2007 6:31:22 PM >

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RE: Playparty Virgin.... - 6/24/2007 8:15:23 AM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		Nearly all of my play has been at play parties. There has been great advice here. As Joseff said most parties do not allow drugs or alcahol so if you see someone slipping a drink you can usually tell a DM or the organizer and that person will be asked to leave (often in a none to polite way). There are a couple of different types of parties, and I dont know which you are going too but please allow me to explain.

1. Private Party. Usualy at someones house, few rules but then the guest list is usualy hand picked so rules are not very nessacary.

2. Group Social. Usualy at someone's house or at a public dongeon. Often different rules but the standards include no drugs or alcahol, no unprotected sex if allowed at all, DM is the law. Usualy with a seperate play area and social area. Please use these as labeled.

3. Public Dungeon. Sex is usualy not allowed at all, nudity is often frowned upon if allowed at all. DM is law. Alcahol is sometimes allowed no other drugs

4, Club play. in my area there is and excelent S&M (Stand & Model) group that holds fetish nights. Often in a night club setting so Alcohol is often served at the bar, DM is the law. Even being topless is a huge no-no in some areas.

where ever you find yourself playing, please be polite to the players and voyeurs.

_____________________________

"Isn't wonderful when our bruises show what we hide in the back of our heads?"Fayetteville band, Nephilym

"He is my angel, my devil, my naughty boy, but above anything else my Master"My girl sin

(in reply to LadyHeart)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Playparty Virgin.... - 6/24/2007 1:06:54 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		My first experience was a while back, but since relocating, I've had to get into the scene again here in GA.  Everything old was new again.
 
Most dungeons will either have rules posted at the door, or a handout given that you will have to read, sign, and return.  Usually, you'll have to sign a release, too, so that the dungeon is not responsible for liability for anthing that might be the result of play.  The DM's are there to ensure nothing goes out of control. 
 
If you tell the DM that it is your first visit, they will most likely show you around, make sure you understand the rules, and answer any questions that you might have.  Personally, I just love the DM's at My favorite club.  They are absolutely wonderful!
 
Definitely take your toys, especially if you're taking your submissive.  You'll probably be introduced to some equipment that you'll really want to try for yourself.  Like someone else said, better to bring them, and not need them, than to want them and not have them.

(in reply to Phin)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Playparty Virgin.... - 6/24/2007 1:23:05 PM   
santalia


Posts: 142
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsPleasure

I will probably do more watching than anything at first then participate.  My concern is if its a clean environment and overly aggressive behavior due to alcohol.  As for the thread, Im not there to promote anything but to learn.  If someone likes Delicious Chocolate and wants to play Im sure they will ask.


Greetings

Most play parties do not allow alcohol and if anybody has been drinking before the party, they are not usually allowed to play. The Dungeon Monitor will be certain the rules of the playspace are followed. If there is no Dungeon Monitor, someone will be watching all in attendance to be certain rules are followed...whether that be the owner of the space, whomever is hosting the party, or someone else who is designated by either the owner of the host.

Most playspaces also do not allow fluid exchange, and require barriers when doing anything sexual. These barriers include condoms, gloves, cellophane when doing anything oral, and are generally (but not always) provided at the playspace.

Cleanliness is everybody's responsibility at most play parties. Those playing are usually required to clean up after themselves, and supplies for this are usually provided. Before and after play parties, a thorough cleaning of the playspace is usually done to ensure nothing was missed by those who played at the party.

i hope this heps.

Well wishes and i hope you enjoy your first play party.

-santalia{JR}

(in reply to MsPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Playparty Virgin.... - 6/24/2007 8:09:21 PM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		It will be a private social gathering that will end with play in the dungeon.  Basically an open invitation whenever I'm ready to visit.

(in reply to MsPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Playparty Virgin.... - 6/24/2007 8:19:27 PM   
Mystique567


Posts: 273
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline 		All of the advice here is great, I remember my first and yes it was scarey. As a Dom I am sure that it must be worse for you. As a sub I had someone leading my way.

I would ask ahead of time, if you are friends with the host.

And I parrot the ones that talk about cleanliness.

(in reply to MsPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Playparty Virgin.... - 6/24/2007 8:40:54 PM   
MsPleasure


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		Im not friends yet, but could easily be.  This person was very jolly and has over 20 years experience.  I know I can learn a lot from her.

< Message edited by MsPleasure -- 6/24/2007 8:44:26 PM >

(in reply to Mystique567)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Playparty Virgin.... - 6/25/2007 1:01:41 AM   
MaamJay


Posts: 2101
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline 		I echo what has been said here. Sounds like a small gathering so the main thing is to talk to the hostess ahead of time and ask Her about the rules/protocols. For example, there may be simple instructions about where to park, what street clothes to wear (to not freak out the neighbours), what to wear inside and where you can get changed (depending on whether or not You and Your sub have fetish gear), where smoking may/may not be allowed etc. As You've heard, most parties limit alcohol so that shouldn't be an issue. Be polite, be friendly in the social area, be quiet in the Dungeon. Watch, learn, enjoy!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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(in reply to MsPleasure)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Playparty Virgin.... - 6/25/2007 1:16:03 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		Vanillas have this idea that BDSM is so wild and dangerous - but those parties sound far safer, better organised and more controlled than most vanilla bars or parties!

(in reply to MaamJay)
Profile   Post #: 17
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