Getting what you wished for

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angelicslaveMDF -> Getting what you wished for (6/23/2007 12:12:36 PM)
earlier today in having a conversation with Master...something happened...that He was upset about...and my answer to Him seemed liked i was not listening or that i cared what had happened either way...so He went and sat outside...i went to speak to Him...and He said what had happened made Him feel abandoned and betrayed in a sense...(not by me)...but the way i reacted to Him made Him feel i was not listening to Him...although my tone might have come across that way...i knew that isnt what i felt in my heart...i felt that because me as a slave and my hearts desire is to make Master feel wanted, need, desired and safe here with me as well as i with Him...then i had not done my job...so i felt that He could in turn do the same to me by releasing me...and i did mention this as an option as well....more than once too... well He proceeded to take me inside the house and kneel and procced to take off the collar that He had placed around my neck...asking me how i felt...and i spoke to Him honestly that i felt like i was missing my heart...and it hurt...and how i didnt like it...and He wanted to know if thats what i truly wanted....to be released...of course my answer is no...and He proceeded to put the collar back and say that if i dont wish to have that then why did i keep metioning it...and if i didnt want that to happen for real or again...then i best stricken that phrase of being released from my vocabulary...which i intend to do... i know it was a harsh thing to do...but it did get His point across and it is a hard lesson...my sister in chains...did comment to me that saying that was a weapon and we as slaves arent to have a weapons...which i do understand to an extent....i am still learning and will continue to learn...and know that when i stop learning...i hope to be dead... thank you

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Getting what you wished for (6/23/2007 12:29:06 PM)
since i'm not a slave, i had a hard time trying to understand the question of your op.

countrygirl69 -> RE: Getting what you wished for (6/23/2007 12:30:14 PM)
to me everything we do is a lesson one way or another and by you sayinf that in my mind was like a bratty child saying i am taking my ball and going home so now none of you can play its the easy way out for you .i wonder what you would have done,felt if he had kept the collar off and said leave .

windchymes -> RE: Getting what you wished for (6/23/2007 3:53:20 PM)
Having one's bluff called is a good eye-opener.

viperess -> RE: Getting what you wished for (6/23/2007 4:40:13 PM)
Greetings, As i have not looked i do not know how long you have been a slave. From reading the post i am guessing not a real long time..as in years..i do so like the fact that you have realized it is always aan on going learning experience. i will say from personal experience that begging release is something that you must never do IMO unless you are ready to live with that happening. It is not something to be done lightly as it will have a lasting effect on you if your collar ever meant anything to you. i also agree even after 28 years of being a slave i hope that i never think i know it all..i want to always learn more about myself and how better to serve. i figure if i ever quit learning it is time to put me 6 feet under as life will be no fun anymore. But then again that is just this old slaves 2cents worth.

slaveish -> RE: Getting what you wished for (6/23/2007 7:44:06 PM)
angelic, your reaction with regard to your collar (mentioning release so often) was most likely fear-based - "do it" to him before he can do it to you. It takes some of the sting out and allows one to be at least a little prepared for this "inevitibility". Try your best to never do this again - he may take you up on it. It sounds like his illustration was appropriate and realistic. He obviously wishes to keep you. Be well and consider it a lesson well-learned.

crouchingtigress -> RE: Getting what you wished for (6/23/2007 10:03:00 PM)
ask him "what does me listening to you look like?" ask yourself what does "you doing your job" look like? there are hundreds of little course corrections like the ones above that you can choose, before you steer the thing off in the ditch, and honestly if you ask me that is "your job".... but i have to also add that him feeling"abandoned and betrayed" over you not listening to him. when you were, might be an indicator of a relationship that is higher maintenance and will exact a higher emotional dowery then you may have originally thought.

becca333 -> RE: Getting what you wished for (6/23/2007 10:10:42 PM)
It's a learning curve. He called your bluff, now you'll learn from that and grow. You can't keep testing him.

angelicslaveMDF -> RE: Getting what you wished for (6/25/2007 5:03:24 AM)
thank you A/all who did respond...believe me...this girl has learned her lesson and is still learning...no i have not been a slave a very long time...short maybe 3 weeks...i started as switch and have come this far...Master says He saw it in me...but didnt mention it because of what i claimed to be... a good friend told me that comments like me suggesting that were "weapons" to an extent...and slaves are not to have "weapons"... so now it has made me stop and think of things before i say them...and asking thinking things through so that my thoughts dont get all jumbled...and if you read any of my posts...they are like that as well...hopping from one thought to another...so it takes time for me to slow down and think of what i want to say and how to say it... thanks A/all...i am starting to get more into these boards because i see that sometimes...it pays off to share what you may have an opinion on and honestly read what others say as well...

sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Getting what you wished for (6/25/2007 5:30:15 AM)
Do you keep repeating the same behavior that he has constantly had to deal with? If so that would be a reason for Master to threaten release. Otherwise I do not have enough info to understand what it is you are asking?

littleone35 -> RE: Getting what you wished for (6/25/2007 8:02:25 AM)
Unless you really want to be released never mention it again. He mightjust take you up on it. I was glad to hear you learned from your. Those who don't learn tend to make the same mistakes over and over again. Now you can move on with your relationship. Matt's littleone

angelicslaveMDF -> RE: Getting what you wished for (6/25/2007 10:09:27 AM)
no sorry for those....i really wasnt asking a question...just wanted comments...and yes...the ones who said have i learned....yes...that is so... :)))

Littlepita -> RE: Getting what you wished for (6/25/2007 11:12:33 AM)
I learned years ago that when upset or fighting with someone I'm in a relationship with to never say I want out or that they can leave me. Same thing applies in a BDSM relationship. Glad you learned a valuable lesson.

santalia -> RE: Getting what you wished for (6/25/2007 11:42:43 AM)
Greetings angelic sis :) i'm glad to see you here, sis. The forums are a wonderful resource for all. And, sis, don't worry, all will be well. Lessons learned today will help guide you through all of your tomorrows, so long as you always remember what you have learned. Well wishes. -santalia{JR}

favesclava -> RE: Getting what you wished for (6/25/2007 12:05:34 PM)
the first time Master really used me i sent him an email regarding what had happened. not wanting to sound like a whiner i was very matter-of-fact . Master wrote back that it sounded like i wanted to be released.he ordered that from that moment on anything like that will be in person or over the phone. i keep it in person so that he may see my eyes and expression and never have my words misunderstood again. it was hard to read about when your collar was removed. it made my heart twinge. i think i will call Master and tell him how much i miss him.....

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Getting what you wished for (6/26/2007 10:18:43 AM)
It's not healthy for anyone in any kind of relationship to use weapons against eachother, being a slave has nothing to do with it. Seems like you guys had a problem and used direct, honest and somewhat striking communication to reach a mutually fulfilling understanding. Love it.

shyinini -> RE: Getting what you wished for (6/26/2007 10:43:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress ask him "what does me listening to you look like?" ask yourself what does "you doing your job" look like? there are hundreds of little course corrections like the ones above that you can choose, before you steer the thing off in the ditch, and honestly if you ask me that is "your job".... Another approach which I use at work and with which Sir understands my feelings.... Since we DONT own another's feelings, we do observe their behaviour. Since we DONT know the intentions or motiviations of someone when we dont understand their behaviour, the approach would / might be.... "I noticed________" "What were you feeling?" "When you were feeling _________ what were you thinking? Instead of putting a label on an action or before you think you can own another's feelings, ask clarifying questions, so all do not get hurt in the process. As was this dominant, feeling betrayed and abandoned. Clarifying and explaining respectfully without whining or trying to convert or sway any thoughts or emotions, always helps communication. Both ways ! [sm=argue.gif] [:D] I would agree, our insecurities and fears DO become our weapons, consciously or unconsiously. [sm=boxer.gif] Am most happy for you he put your collar back on Angelic. Sir's cumslutcockwhore

Viciousbabe -> RE: Getting what you wished for (6/26/2007 6:30:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelicslaveMDF so now it has made me stop and think of things before i say them...and asking thinking things through so that my thoughts dont get all jumbled...and if you read any of my posts...they are like that as well...hopping from one thought to another...so it takes time for me to slow down and think of what i want to say and how to say it... thanks A/all...i am starting to get more into these boards because i see that sometimes...it pays off to share what you may have an opinion on and honestly read what others say as well... My concern is that you have only been a slave for three weeks and it sounds like you did not understand it fully before you agreed to be his slave. It does sound like you are trying to learn, but perhaps you should have taken more time to understand what he wanted from you. Hopefully he has the patience to teach you. I, too, have the habit of jumping from one train track to another, usually with out any viable connection between the two. Slowing down is always a good thing. However, be mindful of your tone when trying to slow yourself. Some times it can be frustrating for you as well as the other person. Best wishes, and good luck on your journey

angelicslaveMDF -> RE: Getting what you wished for (6/27/2007 8:09:34 AM)
ty very much...no girl hasnt been a slave long...but have been with Master for almost 6 months now...and yes He is very patient...for me...if i dont have that...i feel like i am sometimes set up to fail...because if i know i will do something with/for/to them that they will be disappointed in...then whats the point of trying... i am taking it slower and am very thankful that Master and i have open communicationa nd i have no fear with being honest with Him...thanks for all the great advice and encouragement...it is a pleasure

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