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RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/24/2007 7:08:42 AM   
PairOfDimes


Posts: 324
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		He or she will need to learn to control his or her gag reflex. This happens with practice (which might be a good thing for you!). You can practice with fingers, penises, or dildos. It's a question of developing conscious control of a muscle that one doesn't ordinarily control.

Also, it's important to learn to control one's breath. Cocksuckers who have experience with diving, singing, or yoga have an advantage here--they have already figured out that they can regulate their breath.

Once one gets the hang of suppressing the gagging muscle-thing, it's possible to activate it at will, which some people find a quite arousing stroking sensation. Again, practice. It occurs to me that you could learn first to make it not happen at will, or make it happen at will, whichever comes easiest--either way, you're gaining self-control over gagging, and the other will come easily once you understand where the muscles are and how you control them.

Some say that it's easier to deep throat upside down, with the sucker's head hanging off a bed or chair to make a straight line. I have never, ever had success with that, and I'm pretty seasoned at giving fellatio. I don't think it has anything to do with approaching a cock from the "wrong" side--I do that often enough with success. I suspect that I find it disorienting and a touch nauseating to hang upside down, and if I put something in my mouth then it makes it worse. Give the position a try, by all means, but know that it's not a holy grail.

Finally, if you really, really want books or online resources, I think Violet Blue has a Complete Guide to Fellatio.

(in reply to RealDom69)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/24/2007 7:18:18 AM   
Kitte9


Posts: 411
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:


Hey! Someone other than LA posted a string of links to old discussions on this board.

Master Darkmoon


You read my mind! *snicker*


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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/24/2007 7:51:21 AM   
LadyHeart


Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
I always wonder if these posts are those manly chest beaters: " heh heh Mine is so big it will tickle her innards"
 
puhleez, why would you come here to ask that question unless to impress us that you MIGHT have a sizeable schlong--puhleesz--so here is the 411--common sense hellooo---there is a gag reflex and if she doenst like your cock she will never get past that-----and if she has a strong gag reflex, it aint going to happen---and if it hasnt happened by now naturally, Im betting it won't.


Ummm, actually I am the slave in question, and it was a serious request for information about safety and technique. It hasn't happened naturally, even though I do like the cock in question, so we needed to get some advice, tips and opinions from people that may have tried it.

Many thanks to those helpful people who have posted to this thread. I am going to try some of those tips and see if I can get past this block, whatever it is. BTW, Master has tried it himself with a dildo, and couldn't work out how to get past the gag reflex either.

:))
LH

who thinks his dick may not be "so big it will tickle my innards" but quite big enough to satisfy both of us, ROFLMAO

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(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/24/2007 12:04:47 PM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		Hello RealDom69. I'm not going to tell you "go slow", positions etc.

I find this overly complicated because of  two things: Gagging and fear of gagging (and in some cases, "fear" of fear of gagging!)

The gagging reflex is there for a reason, and progressive "desensitizing" has a drawback as it "reduces" the gagging reflex. You really "need" a good functioning gag reflex to keep you from chocking at times. Desensitizing a normal reflex is simply telling the brain to "ignore" sensations, it is just hardening a "trigger".

There are four major reflexes using more or less the same group of muscles. All have different triggers: Coughing is a semi-voluntary reflex (triggered by air way obstruction, and can be done at will), swallowing (saliva level control is invonluntary, eating is voluntary), yawning (involuntary but the group of muscles can be used voluntarely) and finally gagging (involuntary and usually no one wants to learn to gag at will!).

What I do is concentrate on the gag reflex first. This is the major obstacal, as it causes a lot of stress. The start point is using another reflex in the voluntary mode to "bypass" the gag trigger; you practice voluntary yawning. This is easy and psychologically non threathning.

Gag reflex is a "closing" reflex. "Yawning" is an opening reflex. If the muscles in the throat are in the "yawning" position the gag reflex is canceled. Simply, you cannot gag and yawn at the same time as the muscle group positions are completely opposite.

When you "yawn" on a volontary basis, you may once in a while actually yawn! But this is simply an auto-suggestion thingie. Lots of people yawn when they "see" someone yawning (visual suggestion).

Ok, this is getting a bit long, but it is important to know the "why" of things when you are going into sexual practices that cuts someones air off, could make them vomit and could set you back a few years in the "hard limits" department.

Once the gag reflex is under "control", the person can experiment with level of penetration. First "objective", is the back of the throat in a vertical position (I call this "throating" to differentiate from "deepthroating"). The gag reflex being canceled "voluntarely", slow "experimentation" can start until things become "pleasurable" to all involved.

It can take five minutes to learn how to "yawn voluntarely". I recommend the dominant to "learn" this before "teaching" it to others. It is always better to know what "you" are talking about when using a control "technique".

Hope this helps. RL.

(in reply to RealDom69)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/24/2007 2:28:56 PM   
bladedom


Posts: 39
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I'd much rather have a slave expertly suck me minus the deepthroating acrobatics then have the both of us worrying about her throwing up in my lap. Frankly I'd much rather have my girl's skilled tounge working on as much of me as she can take than worrying about getting it down her throat.

(in reply to RealDom69)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/24/2007 4:43:13 PM   
LadyHeart


Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Yay! We tried some of those tips and it worked! First deep throating experience for both of us, successfully achieved, with no up chucking in his lap. It's a great feeling of achievement. It just shows that you can teach an old dog new tricks (or should that be, an old bitch, hehehehe)  We had an interesting conversation with some vanilla friends yesterday, who seriously believe that people's sex life is over once the woman reaches menopause - they don't do it any more. Sad. They can't believe people still do it into their last years. What a shock they would have got had they known we were off to practice deep throating that very night, ROFLMAO

:))
LH

BTW, for us, the best angle position proved to be a 69 on our sides, with him lying still and me doing all the moving. Now it's worked, we can start experimenting with other positions....

< Message edited by LadyHeart -- 6/24/2007 4:45:22 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/24/2007 4:52:14 PM   
DuchessDawna


Posts: 5
Joined: 2/26/2005
Status: offline 		 Who says sex stops when the female goes thru menopause?  I am 46 and I went thru menopause at 33....and No I didn't get a hysterectomy....I just went thru it.....At 46 I still enjoy sex and am very comfortable with tell my lover how to get me off....He's a generous lover and knows what makes me orgasm...over and over and over again....

So, not every woman stops having sex or enjoy it...it depends on the woman and her body....and mind obviously

(in reply to LadyHeart)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/24/2007 4:54:30 PM   
DuchessDawna


Posts: 5
Joined: 2/26/2005
Status: offline 		In fact for me....going thru menopause was kind of like a new found freedom.......NO FEAR OF GETTING PREGNANT.....and my orgasms became much more intense...as I get older....

(in reply to DuchessDawna)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/24/2007 5:33:45 PM   
LadyHeart


Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DuchessDawna

Who says sex stops when the female goes thru menopause?  I am 46 and I went thru menopause at 33....and No I didn't get a hysterectomy....I just went thru it.....At 46 I still enjoy sex and am very comfortable with tell my lover how to get me off....He's a generous lover and knows what makes me orgasm...over and over and over again....

So, not every woman stops having sex or enjoy it...it depends on the woman and her body....and mind obviously



Couldn't agree with you more. I am 55 and intend to go to my deathbed with one hand on my pussy and the other clutching a dick or a vibrator   ....  it's sad that some people think that way, when people like us are still learning new sexual skills - but there you go..
:))
LH

_____________________________

"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

(in reply to DuchessDawna)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/24/2007 5:42:40 PM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHeart

quote:

ORIGINAL: DuchessDawna

Who says sex stops when the female goes thru menopause?  I am 46 and I went thru menopause at 33....and No I didn't get a hysterectomy....I just went thru it.....At 46 I still enjoy sex and am very comfortable with tell my lover how to get me off....He's a generous lover and knows what makes me orgasm...over and over and over again....

So, not every woman stops having sex or enjoy it...it depends on the woman and her body....and mind obviously



Couldn't agree with you more. I am 55 and intend to go to my deathbed with one hand on my pussy and the other clutching a dick or a vibrator   ....  it's sad that some people think that way, when people like us are still learning new sexual skills - but there you go..
:))
LH

Well hell...i didn't even START getting horney till i reached fourty....LMAO


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(in reply to LadyHeart)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/24/2007 5:43:13 PM   
MsLadySue


Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline 		I totally agree with you LadyHeart. I'm also 55 and going strong, even though still going thru a mild menopause. It hasn't stopped the interest or the lubrication and I swear my body is more sensitive everywhere than it was before. I need to get a young sub to keep up with me.  LOL 

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I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to LadyHeart)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/24/2007 7:47:03 PM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLadySue

I totally agree with you LadyHeart. I'm also 55 and going strong, even though still going thru a mild menopause. It hasn't stopped the interest or the lubrication and I swear my body is more sensitive everywhere than it was before. I need to get a young sub to keep up with me.  LOL 


Hello MsLadySue. A young 18 year old? just kidding! (am I?)

I am 54, you gals are very tempting! Enough to make my 40 year old age kink change to 50! RL.

(in reply to MsLadySue)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/25/2007 9:57:33 AM   
Domspaintoy


Posts: 158
Joined: 2/25/2007
Status: offline 		Master loves it when i gag, he said its a very pleasurable feeling having my throat contract on His cock.

W/we have tried the lying on the bed head hanging over the edge thing it didnt work very well for U/us, my kneeling  well you cant call it kneeling really because im actually on my bottom, legs beside me (bit like a frog position lol) in front of Him and Him allowing me to (sometimes anyway) to guide Him down, my head is almost in the same position as being laid on the bed but i find it easier and Master finds it more controlling, because He can grab hold of my head and force me to stay in position which W/we both love and i always say its breath play at its finest lol

Works for U/us anyway

(in reply to RealDom69)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/26/2007 12:32:40 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		I find that trying different positions helps. Plus allergies can be the culprit, if my allergies are more under control then I can do better. Allergies very bad, forget about it.

(in reply to Domspaintoy)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/26/2007 2:51:54 PM   
onmykneesforhim


Posts: 112
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHeart

past that-----and if she has a strong gag reflex, it aint going to happen---and if it hasnt happened by now naturally, Im betting it won't.


Hi LH,
About the gag reflex, you dont want the nice tightening of the throat muscles?
  Gagging is an art form in itself.
hg




(in reply to LadyHeart)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/27/2007 1:31:35 AM   
RealDom69


Posts: 64
Joined: 4/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314
-----and if she has a strong gag reflex, it aint going to happen---and if it hasnt happened by now naturally, Im betting it won't.
  
Your wishes may not always be wise wishes.
 
 


Hmmm ..  looks like you backed trhe wrong horse....

:))

Johnny Reble

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"Winners make things happen; losers let things happen."

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/27/2007 6:56:33 AM   
bladedom


Posts: 39
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		 I'd much rather the slave concentrate on the business at hand which is sucking and use of tounge. If I am inclined to fuck her throat gagging is just part of the job description.

(in reply to RealDom69)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/27/2007 7:30:11 PM   
MarkC


Posts: 54
Joined: 5/15/2007
Status: offline 		I haven't found that teaching a sub to deepthroat is difficult, nor does it require alot of concentration. (I know I'm going against what everyone else is saying here) I have taught several woman to give me head in such a way that they don't use their hands, and it's more pleasureable for both of us my way . . . In my opinion. Pretty simple technique actually, so here goes.

Put the tip of your dick in her mouth, (and only the VERY tip)
Do NOT let her suck on more than just the very tip until she comes.
Now while she holds the tip (not even the head) in her mouth she masturbates.
She does NOT get any more of your dick in her mouth until she comes, then she can go down on it as far as she wants.

I haven't met a woman yet who had gag reflex problems in the middle of a climax with this tech. hehe After about 10 or times of doing this, you'll find that she gets horny and wet just putting your dick in her mouth. At first though I don't let them try to give me head. I wait until they can hold it in their mouth and suck on it good after they climax before they even get to try giving me head. After she's gotten to where she can deepthroat well then you don't need to do the tech any more, but it never hurts to do every once in a while. This can also allow you to "fuck her face" however you need to understand she has to breath. She can not breath with your dick in her throat, so don't hold it in there forever. Also don't fuck her face quickly, and make sure you move your dick around in her mouth in between strokes so she has a chance to breath. I also give warning before I shove it all the way in so she has a chance to take a breath first. I normally do this by putting just the tip on her lips. (this also gives her a chance to swallow first and what not) I've trained several woman to give head, and none of them use hands on my dick. For me personally I just consider that her masterbating me with her mouth on the head to catch the load.

(in reply to bladedom)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/27/2007 7:45:15 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHeart


Ummm, actually I am the slave in question, and it was a serious request for information about safety and technique. It hasn't happened naturally, even though I do like the cock in question, so we needed to get some advice, tips and opinions from people that may have tried it.

Many thanks to those helpful people who have posted to this thread. I am going to try some of those tips and see if I can get past this block, whatever it is. BTW, Master has tried it himself with a dildo, and couldn't work out how to get past the gag reflex either.

:))
LH

who thinks his dick may not be "so big it will tickle my innards" but quite big enough to satisfy both of us, ROFLMAO


Try the 69 position with you on top. I could never deep throat until, quite by accident, my ex-fiancee's cock slipped into my throat quite easily from that position. From there I've gotten to the point where I can do it in just about any position. However, forcing it is still a bad idea. I love the idea of Valyraen forcing my head onto his erection. The only time we tried it was a disaster though - I ended up vomiting, so now he just maintains a gentle pressure on the back of my head and a death grip on my hair.

Also, don't rush yourself or put too much stress on yourself. Just keep trying!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LadyHeart)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Deepthroating .. - 6/27/2007 7:51:29 PM   
SirStephan55


Posts: 69
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		I am not paticulary large but my slave is just learning to deep throat me. Try taking a 6 inch dildo all the way without gaging - the gag reflex is usually located much closer than 6 inches - even a tongue depressor gags many.

(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 40
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