Scenes with Mistress???

Scenes with Mistress??? (Full Version)

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gingerbenn -> Scenes with Mistress??? (6/9/2005 12:22:53 PM)
Not sure if anyone can help me, I'm sub and have been doing bdsm scenes on and off for the last 5 or 6 years but mostly all of my experience has come from Male Doms/Masters only due to the fact the time i got into bdsm scenes i could not find a Mistress to take me on for scenes/play. So here is my situation, I am lucky to enough have found a Mistress (with experience) and so far have had a few scenes with her and also attended a fetish club with her which was totally new experience for me (Which I really enjoyied once i got there). Anyway my problem is i feel i am not getting as much enjoyment from the scenes have been doing with Mistress compared to the fun she is having using me in bdsm scenes. For a start I would of expected myself to be more excited (eg Hard) in bdsm scenes i have done with Mistress but i am very up and down when it comes been turned on or hard. Stress the scenes I do with my mistress are purely bdsm scenes no actually sex takes places. I have been told in later scenes i will be allowed to cum in the presents of my Mistress, but i just can;t understand why i don;t get excited more when used by my Mistress. I could just putting it down to earily days with her within the scenes have done so far, or could it poss be something else. So far nothing has been done to me within scenes I've not actually liked or could't take but within the two scenes I have done i have taken more actually cbt, nipple torture and cp then i ever thought i would. So guess that progress on my part, but i want to get more out of the scene and be more turned on or hard thought out the scenes no just on and off like i am currently experiencing. Can anyone help with my probs at the moment just need someone else's views on my problems. Regards gingerbenn

MistressMarry -> RE: Scenes with Mistress??? (6/9/2005 5:34:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gingerbenn Anyway my problem is i feel i am not getting as much enjoyment from the scenes have been doing with Mistress compared to the fun she is having using me in bdsm scenes. For a start I would of expected myself to be more excited (eg Hard) in bdsm scenes i have done with Mistress but i am very up and down when it comes been turned on or hard. Stress the scenes I do with my mistress are purely bdsm scenes no actually sex takes places. I have been told in later scenes i will be allowed to cum in the presents of my Mistress, but i just can;t understand why i don;t get excited more when used by my Mistress. So guess that progress on my part, but i want to get more out of the scene and be more turned on or hard thought out the scenes no just on and off like i am currently experiencing. A couple of things come to mind: First, its not about you. Its her scene and you are there for her pleasure and amusement. So the question becomes, is SHE having a good time? Is SHE attempting to get an erection from you and its not working? Fear can be an interesting tool. For some, they get so hot and hard they are stupid and others just shrivel right up when placed in a situation of fear. Second, just because you have met someone doesn't mean SHE is the right one for you or you are the right one for her. There is a lot to be said for chemistry and also taking the time to learn what trips each other's trigger. Third, relax and stop worrying about the hardness factor. Concentrate on pleasing her and enjoying the other parts of the scene and see if that makes a difference in your response.

SecretDomme -> RE: Scenes with Mistress??? (6/9/2005 5:57:20 PM)
Are you truly compatible with her, or did you just agree to be her sub because she was the first female to take you on as a submissive? Are you attracted to her? What is she doing differently from the male Doms you had? Just some questions for you to think about. Be well, Julie

gingerbenn -> RE: Scenes with Mistress??? (6/14/2005 6:44:57 PM)
MistressMarry, Thats for the advice, yes I understand it not about me its about my Mistress and her enjoyment. Which i feel is part of reason maybe i am not enjoying scenes that much so far, I been told by my Mistress that i need training from scratch as slave to an Mistress. Fear i feel i need more of, as i like the unknown factor within bdsm scenes. But i guess i could be just worrying so much that am doing scenes with a Mistress at last which is what have always wanted within since got into bdsm scenes. Yep so far have relaxed in one scene, which was good scene. But last scene was bit of nitemare for me, don't feel i relaxed at all and did't help there was 2 x Mistresses. Thanks very much for your advice Mistress Mary. Regards sub gb

gingerbenn -> RE: Scenes with Mistress??? (6/14/2005 6:50:21 PM)
SecretDomme, thanks for your reply regarding my problem. First of all yes maybe i did agree poss too quickly as she is the first Mistress to actually use me in bdsm scene. (But have experience of Masters using me) Yes am attracted to her, but nothing sexually goes on in scenes. My Mistress uses me slightly different from Masters due too the non sexual use in scenes, the scenes i do with my Mistress are more just pure cbt, tt, cp and bondage. So guess that makes a difference some what. Please get back to me if this gives you a better picture of my problem Thanks again for replying. sub gb

gingerbenn -> RE: Scenes with Mistress??? (6/14/2005 6:54:10 PM)
Sorry not sure you got this msg, sorry if already have. MistressMarry, Thats for the advice, yes I understand it not about me its about my Mistress and her enjoyment. Which i feel is part of reason maybe i am not enjoying scenes that much so far, I been told by my Mistress that i need training from scratch as slave to an Mistress. Fear i feel i need more of, as i like the unknown factor within bdsm scenes. But i guess i could be just worrying so much that am doing scenes with a Mistress at last which is what have always wanted within since got into bdsm scenes. Yep so far have relaxed in one scene, which was good scene. But last scene was bit of nitemare for me, don't feel i relaxed at all and did't help there was 2 x Mistresses. Thanks very much for your advice Mistress Mary. Regards sub gb quote: MistressMarry, Thats for the advice, yes I understand it not about me its about my Mistress and her enjoyment. Which i feel is part of reason maybe i am not enjoying scenes that much so far, I been told by my Mistress that i need training from scratch as slave to an Mistress. Fear i feel i need more of, as i like the unknown factor within bdsm scenes. But i guess i could be just worrying so much that am doing scenes with a Mistress at last which is what have always wanted within since got into bdsm scenes. Yep so far have relaxed in one scene, which was good scene. But last scene was bit of nitemare for me, don't feel i relaxed at all and did't help there was 2 x Mistresses. Thanks very much for your advice Mistress Mary. Regards sub gb

MistressMarry -> RE: Scenes with Mistress??? (6/17/2005 7:03:57 PM)
Your welcome and good luck.

CanuckDoms -> RE: Scenes with Mistress??? (6/19/2005 6:26:50 AM)
I guess i look at it a different way...the dom/sub relationship has to be a two way street i WANT my sub to enjoy the scene as much as possible...that said i also like to push that sub as far as they can go and a little bit beyond. maybe im too nice lol but i prefer to err on the safe side.

SecretDomme -> RE: Scenes with Mistress??? (6/19/2005 6:53:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CanuckDoms I guess i look at it a different way...the dom/sub relationship has to be a two way street i WANT my sub to enjoy the scene as much as possible...that said i also like to push that sub as far as they can go and a little bit beyond. maybe im too nice lol but i prefer to err on the safe side. I certainly feel the same way. I wouldn't have a relationship if I didn't think we both were getting something from it. However, it is still clear to the sub that I am going to do things that I enjoy. In choosing a partner, I am going to make sure that he, for the most part, enjoys the same things that I do. If there are activities that he doesn't particularly care for, he would still enjoy the control I have over him to make him endure those things for me and get pleasure from knowing he pleased me. It's all part of the dynamic. Be well, Julie

Chayne -> RE: Scenes with Mistress??? (6/19/2005 7:40:37 AM)
All good advise here...and one question. Have you talked to HER about this stuff? Having asked that question, an observation You sound nervous and sounds like you are getting a little stage fright going on. That is my sense, in any case. Another possibility is that you actually do prefer the male energy over the female energy. It sounds like, tho, that you and your Mistress should sit down, have a talk about all of this, and just see where the two of you are headed. I would hope that she will listen to you, hear you and your concerns, and that the 2 of you can address them. It really IS ok to question your Dominant.. I do recommend doing it outside of a scene, tho. Make sure all of your concerns and Hers, as well, are aired and working towards resolution. I wish you good luck..and I suspect you arent the first person to feel as you are feeling. Chayne

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