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I'm new with somewhat of a clue - 6/9/2005 4:31:08 PM

COCODOMINANCE

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Joined: 5/30/2005
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I'm new and I have somewhat of a clue. I'm naturally dominant and I've found alot of people who don't understand me. I've been a member for about a week and I've spoke to lots of people who I feel are about lots of games. I really find it hard at times trying to scoop out who is serious or not and I would say people feel the same about me. What I'm really trying to say is since I'm new and never really had a mutual relationship (meaning I'm domme and your Sub knowingly) I'm having a hard time find the right person to explore with I know what I want and it to have control. I just feel women are what makes the world go round and if women did not exist and the world was full of men it would be a tragedy whating to happen I enjoy my power so again I just want to know how to find that right one through text and how should I act to control the relationship while in text I got it in person but writing I can't see who's true or not what should I look for in the right sub/slave

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RE: I'm new with somewhat of a clue - 6/9/2005 6:03:30 PM

SecretDomme

Posts: 152
Joined: 1/21/2004
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I would suggest that you get involved with a local BDSM group in your area where you can meet real people, learn more, and share ideas. If you prefer to stay online, just relax and take your time. It takes awhile to find the person with whom you click.

Best of luck,
Julie

< Message edited by SecretDomme -- 6/9/2005 8:03:40 PM >

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RE: I'm new with somewhat of a clue - 6/9/2005 7:30:55 PM

Sweeticing

Posts: 164
Joined: 12/30/2004
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The Number one thing I see over and over in profiles is "Looking for someone who is serious and not into playing games." What this tells us is that it happens all the time. Maybe they don't mean for it to happen but it does.

I personally weed through people in a way that really gets them its called time. I will not just jump in the car and meet someone even if the conversation is going great. I am amazed at how fast this great person soon turns into a jerk.

One of the best places to find people is look at local groups you know they are serious because they have made a commitment to join and participate in this group. Its not a easy step for everyone tho I understand that.

Unfortunately there is no easy way to know if someone is telling you the truth or if they are wasting your time. I feel sorry for some males because I know they are really great people but so many females are bombarded by trolls( trolls being a good word for these people) that they soon think they are all like that and there guards are up in defense mode. They miss some great people. I'm sure this happens to guys as well. You can only stand to get burned so many times. Often I see people go away from there profiles then in a few months come back to it and try again fresh.

After awhile of chatting with people and getting out and meeting the ones that will venture out you start to know what questions to ask and what answers you want to hear. I also think people come with the expectations too high finding anyone is not easy and finding someone who is in bdsm and has the same interest is even harder.You asked how you should act while in text just be yourself as if you was talking to this person face to face. Hopefully the person you are talking to will do the same thing.

Good Luck in your search...

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RE: I'm new with somewhat of a clue - 6/11/2005 10:23:49 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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One person's serious is another person's game player. The majority of the people on here are looking for someone to match their needs. They are not playing games. Someone who wants to serve an hour every three weeks is just as serious as someone who wants to serve every hour of every day. Just because they don't fit your definition of serious doesn't mean they are playing games or wasting time. If their needs do not match yours, accept it and move on. Getting upset or bitter about it just hurts you. Finding a partner is a long drawn out process if you really wish to find someone who meets your needs.

I suggest you take your search to the real world. We have a large local LA scene. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SoCalSMEvents/ is a list of the local events. If you find that daunting and need more help finding a local munch, let me know.

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Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
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RE: I'm new with somewhat of a clue - 6/11/2005 12:40:49 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
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Beach! I've missed ya!
Coco, Beach is right. I look at your profile and you are fairly vague. You do say You are new, and that You wish to explore. That is a pretty big open invitation to the boys!
Unless you try to state, in the nicest way possible (I have become pretty "blunt" as ScooterTrash says! LOL) how you wish to explore, you will get lots of boys willing to throw their bodies at You for Your use! And I am sure they feel that they are exactly what you are looking for, since you don't say anything very specific.
Get into the local real time scene in SoCal. You are very fortunate that there is a group like Club Femme which is Female Dominated. Most of U/us still deal with the groups that are pretty much Dom Male oriented.
BTW, your photo is lovely, and welcome to the boards. Hope to hear more from you.

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 6/11/2005 12:43:48 PM >

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They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
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RE: I'm new with somewhat of a clue - 6/12/2005 10:01:15 AM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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*grins* I'm popping in as I get my hands on a computer. Being married seems to be a time consuming process so far.. LOL. Hopefully things will settle down in the next day or three. I must admit, the only part of being married I'm not thrilled with so far is getting used to the ring. I've never worn them and it is drivin my nutty! I'm really enjoying having a Mr. Beach. (By the way Coco, I found him at a real time party in the So Cal scene.. Real time is the best way to find someone for long term.)

We were married in the same outfits we met in. *smiles* Gave me another excuse to wear a dress I absolutly love. I'll drop in one of the photos for you...

Attachment (1)

< Message edited by BeachMystress -- 6/12/2005 10:08:38 AM >

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Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

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RE: I'm new with somewhat of a clue - 6/12/2005 11:27:28 PM

GoddessDustyGold

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From: Arizona
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What a beautiful photo! I wish you so much happiness!
Kisses and hugs to both!

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Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

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RE: I'm new with somewhat of a clue - 6/12/2005 11:47:55 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
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From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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Thank you *hugs*

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Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

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RE: I'm new with somewhat of a clue - 6/26/2005 2:45:19 AM

GentleLady

Posts: 356
Joined: 2/1/2005
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BeachMystress...congratulations on that new ring. You have given Me a bit of a startle because of the date You posted. I had a legal wedding ceremony that included placing the collar on June 11.

Gentle Lady

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RE: I'm new with somewhat of a clue - 6/26/2005 5:40:46 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
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Well first of all, welcome COCO! You have some great advice here, I am going to add mine---dominant does not a Domme make--out the gate--when you say I am dominant and Women are supreme-- well that's a start. but Domme styles vary--greatly---I am going to suggest a few things--first evaluate yourself--what is it in domination YOU need? What is it that will make YOU happy? (There are several good sites avail to help with that research, but it all comes down to You --I would also suggest joining an online group designed for mentoring--I belong to one in GA, Imentor and get mentored-- its awesome!). Once you have an idea of what drives you INSIDE, then you can start adding the accoutrements (sp?)--the trappings if you will--I would suggest locating a mentor, I had one for a short period but She taught me where I did NOT want to go--(smiles)--I will also tell you that what I might not want to do with a certain sub, I may consider with another--because the innate things I am looking for exist in one but not the other--hence the reason to go inside and define what kind of Mistress you want to be--and use that as your foundation--and I agree-- what has been said about players vs--you may mean wannabes versus---I strongly suggest you do not jump to an LTR until you have "played" or practiced if you will--- My mentor located a boy for Me to use as a "crash test dummy" if you will--smiles, he was awesome--left to do security in IRAQ (tears)--but he accomplished serving but helped with My growth into new areas. This is a bit long, but I hope I've helped a bit--hugs and weclome

edited for typo

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 6/26/2005 5:41:46 AM >

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Mistress Hathor

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RE: I'm new with somewhat of a clue - 6/26/2005 9:28:58 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

I just feel women are what makes the world go round and if women did not exist and the world was full of men it would be a tragedy whating to happen

There would definitely be a whole lot of sodomy!

All jokes aside, welcome to the forums and I'm glad that you are discovering your inner goddess.

quote:

I enjoy my power so again I just want to know how to find that right one through text and how should I act to control the relationship while in text I got it in person but writing I can't see who's true or not what should I look for in the right sub/slave

It's so hard to tell. I made some mistakes at first but like every other skill that you surely have, you will hone and perfect it. I find that the best techique is to set high standards and boundaries and state clearly what you are looking for.

Welcome to the boards and good luck in your search. There are many wonderful boys out there.

- LA

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