You are Responsible (Full Version)

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cheekybottom -> You are Responsible (6/9/2005 5:16:21 PM)

"Many have forgotten this truth, but you must not forget it. You remain responsible forever, for what you have tamed." -Antoine de Saint-Exupery, The Little Prince


Displayed before you, an admirable work of art graceful in presence, she is as the mirror you’re property resting effortlessly against the wall, a shiny piece of silver, calm and divinely accepting, appreciating the care your labors bring her, you’ve polished her until she shown pristine, the image reflected back stands proud and pleased.

There comes a day when the reflection changes, if what you see is dust, do you miss what is lost? And if there is a new image before you, can you look past it, and see the echo it left behind?

Tell me Sir, everything you’ve ever acquired, and tamed, do you not wake in the night and remember? Do you wonder what’s become of such Mastery?

When the fabric of time ripples across your dreams, tell me Sir does this responsibility twist, and bunch in your sleep? Perhaps it cocoons you or still yet does it instead slip off your body without a care, all crumpled and used upon the dawns floor?

Left responsible…

Dominant: name with held

quote:


Sometimes I stand in front of the window wondering about the world -- wondering about the scarlet women I've known and owned and opened. Somewhere beyond my window, their lives go on without me. The sorrows of an occasional phone call serve to fill in the blanks.

Maybe two years ago I ran into a former slave at the Guggenheim. Ten years earlier we had listened to each other's skin as if it were made of music, but when we saw each other again, we couldn't actually bring ourselves to touch. Old electricity would have moved through us.

Responsibility? Well, as Dominique Aury said to Jean Paulhan, "You should never have agreed to be a god for me if you were afraid to assume the duties of a god." When I was younger I used to worry about damaging something beautiful, but I don't think that way any longer. We don't need to protect a fragile innocence; the universe will always provide new beauty.

I made room in my heart for them once, for the girls who were mine, for the girls who learned to open and obey. They are beautiful bruises in the universe, scarlet women in a world that is so black-and-white. Once we knew each other so well that our intimacy bordered on telepathy, and now we are vibrant strangers in the museum. Once they served me so deeply that they could almost anticipate my desires, and now I stand at the window, wondering.


My reply:

You’ve answered my musings, and yet I’m still left wanting. These Scarlet women in which you speak, I now speculate about them as well, and can’t help but to know that I am one of them, not yours, but someone else’s. I am one of these Scarlet wraiths left scratching at His mind.

Left responsible…

Sir, do you feel responsible?

The Dominants who polished you, and help make who you are today:

1. Are there parts of you that you don’t care for because of Their polishing?
2. Do you hold Them responsible?
3. And remember it stands to reason that if you hold another responsible for the negative, then you must also hold them responsible for the positive.

Left responsible, these scarlet women who bleed your mind…

~d~



lovingmaster45 -> RE: You are Responsible (6/9/2005 5:54:52 PM)

Barf



cumslutcockwhore -> RE: You are Responsible (6/9/2005 6:12:44 PM)

this girl is truly sorry you cannot see the beauty, the despair, the integrity, the honor, the pain, the restlessness, the brokenness, the longing of this post.

thank you cheekybottom for sharing this... i am humbled to read it.....

~~just me



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: You are Responsible (6/9/2005 7:25:12 PM)

I guess I just don't "get it"? What's the driving force here? I can't read beyond the flowery language.

Everyone needs to be responsible for creating a functional and fulfilling situation for themselves and who they decide to be in a relationship with. It won't work unless everyone takes responsibility for their own commitments and expectations.



cheekybottom -> RE: You are Responsible (6/9/2005 7:41:18 PM)

Please forgive the flowery speech smiles. While I might seem romanticized over BDSM I’m no more so romanticized in that area than in any other area of my life, it is who I am.

A Dominant accepts certain responsibilities in the training of a submissive or property as it were, that is not to say that the submissive does not have any responsibilities within the dynamics of each particular relationship, but when this submissive asks to be released or released by the Dominant the Dominant is still in part responsible for which they created, just as the submissive is now held responsible for the care and keeping of herself once alone until the next Dominant claims her. Even though she now becomes someone else’s responsibility I wonder does the Dominant not still feel responsible in some way.

I am not a Dominant, and so this is a curiosity of mine. When you let go, do you let go completely? As in your responsibility ends even though you helped shape, does it stop for you when someone picks up where you left off? Or does it continue on even though you no longer wish for the responsibility and care of her?

~d~



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: You are Responsible (6/9/2005 7:56:21 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: cheekybottom
but when this submissive asks to be released or released by the Dominant the Dominant is still in part responsible for which they created,

Not necessarily. Once the relationship is over, it's over. If they want to set up a new situation, that's between them. But hey, submissives are strong and capable right?

quote:

just as the submissive is now held responsible for the care and keeping of herself once alone until the next Dominant claims her.


Jeez, single slaves aren't just put on a shelf to wait to be picked up again. We're dynamic people, single or not. I don't find a dom so I no longer have to care and keep myself, and I know few doms who want the job of babysitting grown women. This sounds like we're all stuck in a convent waiting to be chosen by our shining knight and live happily ever after.

quote:

Even though she now becomes someone else’s responsibility I wonder does the Dominant not still feel responsible in some way.

Some do, some don't. Another question is whether it's the responsible thing to ACT on those feelings or better to allow the sub to be alone?
quote:


I am not a Dominant, and so this is a curiosity of mine. When you let go, do you let go completely? As in your responsibility ends even though you helped shape, does it stop for you when someone picks up where you left off? Or does it continue on even though you no longer wish for the responsibility and care of her?

~d~


I tend to think CARING for someone continues, but being RESPONSIBLE is more damaging than helpful. You end a relationship because it's not right for you to be in one anymore. It's good to learn how to be on your own again- doms AND subs.



cheekybottom -> RE: You are Responsible (6/9/2005 8:26:09 PM)


Once a relationship is over its over, is it? There are things done that can’t be undone, they are now part of you. And so my premise of this thread is to know from both Dominant and submissive do you feel responsible for that in which you’ve helped create and the submissive do you still feel the polish of His touch?

Smiles I’m singe right now, and beyond strong, I am the sphinx. Strength has nothing to do with what I speak about in here, what it does entail are memories in which I’ve never forgotten and most likely you haven’t either those that helped us become who we are today. Do you remember as well?

A Dominant once told me that they hold themselves responsible for the things that they’ve done, but they did not hold themselves responsible for another person they no longer have dealings with. You are not Dominant nor am I, this is not a question you or I can answer.

~d~



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: You are Responsible (6/9/2005 8:34:23 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: cheekybottom
A Dominant once told me that they hold themselves responsible for the things that they’ve done, but they did not hold themselves responsible for another person they no longer have dealings with. You are not Dominant nor am I, this is not a question you or I can answer.

~d~


What makes you think only dominants ever have authority over other people/things in life?

Feeling responsible for yourself or others is a fairly universal experience.



cheekybottom -> RE: You are Responsible (6/9/2005 8:42:11 PM)

Smiles I don’t. I am quite responsible as are most submissives and have much authority within my job as I am sure others do as well. But the question wasn’t if we as submissives feel responsible, but if the Dominant himself does.

I’m sorry if this is rubbing you wrong,
~d~



harmony3709 -> RE: You are Responsible (6/9/2005 9:30:16 PM)

I enjoyed reading the OP. Don't be surprised though if it brings on a flurry of opposing opinions because you brought up the dreaded "R" word: responsibility; a word often avoided in this lifestyle, by both Dom and submissive. I, for one, have accepted my responsibilities as slave to a Master who explained HIS responsibilities to me and to our relationship in great detail and before I committed myself to him. I did not, nor would I, presume to tell him what I think his responsibilities are (now) because that is not my place as I have accepted it and choose to be in. However, I would not have begged to be the slave of a man who felt he could own me and not consider that a responsibility in the first place.

Regarding the questions posed on the OP specifically:

1. Are there parts of you that you don’t care for because of Their polishing?
Parts of me? I would have to say no. Behaviors or other kinds of impact? Yes.

2. Do you hold Them responsible?
Yes, I do, for things that were a direct result of their "polishing".

3. And remember it stands to reason that if you hold another responsible for the negative, then you must also hold them responsible for the positive.
Absolutely. I guess I'm lucky because I don't think only of the negative and feel there was a lot of positive as a result of their responsibility.

Responsibility does not have to mean caretaker, nor does it imply that the one you are responsible for is a weak imbecile imcapable of caring for themselves. Even though my children are reaching the age where I will no longer be responsible for their food and clothing and shelter, it does not mean that my responsibility to them has ended. It changes, but it does not end. My father is nearing 80 and still feels responsibility for me, even though our roles are changing and I am also in many ways becoming responsible for more things in his life.

Being responsible is an admirable quality, especially when you continue to do so even though many may feel it is no longer required nor necessary.

Blessed be,
harmony



DublinSwitch -> RE: You are Responsible (6/10/2005 3:04:49 AM)

Ummmm - doms are responsible for subs?

As in - the Dom finds the subbie is a psychotic bunny-boiling lunatic, the Dom ends the relations and the Dom is somehow responsible after the relationship is over?

Or the Dom finds that the sub is a needy whingey clingy bore, ends the relationship and the needy whingey clingy bore thinks that the Dom has some on-going 'responsibility?

Think some common sense needs to be applied somewhere...

Cheers

DS



cheekybottom -> RE: You are Responsible (6/10/2005 3:20:54 AM)

We are all responsible. You are responsible for which you helped create and I am responsible for agreeing with such creating.

Common sense, yes by all means DublinSwitch My thread wasn’t written in hopes that people would agree with me, but to think about what they’ve done and who they’ve touched, and how the touched feels. You yourself have been touched by your past it shows in your words, and I thank you for sharing them.

~d~



DublinSwitch -> RE: You are Responsible (6/10/2005 3:36:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: cheekybottom

You yourself have been touched by your past it shows in your words

Ummm - think most people have been 'touched by there past'...course we could get into some sort of 'nurture vs nature' debate here...

Anyways - was not disagreeing with you, to be honest I am trying to figure out what your point of view on the topic is?

Cheers

DS



cumslutcockwhore -> RE: You are Responsible (6/10/2005 5:23:10 AM)

Owner
The Modern Master recognises His responsibility that in accepting the gift of submission from His slave/submissive, He has obligations. He owes her His trust and will behave with the utmost trustworthiness too. His submissive must be safe in the knowledge that he will never harm her (the definition of harm will have been clearly stated before the transfer of power). . He will recognise that His responsibilities transcends any agreement. He cannot allow His submissive to enter into a self-destructive activity no matter how willingly. He will manage the transfer of power; accepting that it is He who should ensure that all activities that He expects from His submissive will have been discussed and honour the fact that no submissive can honourably be obliged to comply with any omissions. He will honour His submissive's hard limits as He would His own. While always seeking to make this relationship His last, He will honour His obligations should the relationship fail. His goal will be to leave His submissive whole and able to trust again.
...taken from www.submissiveloving.com

Two people who have had an intimate relationship of some sort, in my opinion, carry for the rest of their lives apart of the other with them.... and a responsible Dominant doesnt take a girl to pasture and just abandon her anf all those deep levels intenseness.
He sets her free with dignity. If they lived in dignity as a whole, why not allow the dignity to continue. Is this not responsiblity?

Each individual, both Dom and sub, will view the topic of responsibility as they view their own honor and integrity.

The articulation level of the original OP was amazing.
There are basic levels of understanding, and also intensely deep levels of understanding that only one person carries deep inside, whether Dom or sub. To each their own level of private discourse, understanding and deep introspection. Some appreciate this, others are cynical, some barf, others just dont get it........ so be it.
Cynacism is one's nature. Personally, i am not of a cynical nature (altho i do indulge on occasion), but quite introspective, so i have appreciated the articulation of this topic by cheeybottom.

i'd like to see a better discussion of this topic..... a few Doms with honor and integrity reply to their understanding of responsibility, not on just owning, or freeing a girl.... but because of their level of intimacy with a girl, will there always be some sense/measure of pride in seeing in her the portrait of beauty He took the responsiblityto begin to shape?

harmony spoke well of the family unit and its responsility to its members......
does that sense of pride, honor and integirty just dissipate because one is emancipated?
Life is a circle.... taking care of ones elderly parents is that circle of life and as, in my own opinion, one takes care of the cirlce of life the way they were taken care of by others.

just some fuel, i hope.

EXCELLENT TOPIC!!

~~just me



happypervert -> RE: You are Responsible (6/10/2005 5:54:40 AM)

quote:

You are responsible for which you helped create and I am responsible for agreeing with such creating.

Not me. This may apply to guys with what LadyAngelika calls a Pygmalion complex where they try to mold their partner into "something". However the ladies I'm attracted to tend to have enough going for them that I wouldn't want to change them, and I can't even see any reason to be involved with someone that I would want to train to be something else or who would be so malleable. Even this notion of "training" is alien to me -- I think it is just a fancy way of saying a partner learns another's preferences as in any normal relationship.

I feel some responsibility for the influence I've had over the years on my friend's son, but none at all for any influence I've had on adults.



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: You are Responsible (6/10/2005 6:21:04 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: cumslutcockwhore
Some appreciate this, others are cynical, some barf, others just dont get it........ so be it.
Cynacism is one's nature. Personally, i am not of a cynical nature (altho i do indulge on occasion), but quite introspective, so i have appreciated the articulation of this topic by cheeybottom.

Your basic logical conclusion here is that you either appreciate what she's saying or you don't. I appreciate what she's saying, I think it's an over-romanticized and over-simplified view of how relationships are formed and ended amongst adults, specially in the scene.

I'm not cynical, just analytical.


quote:

but because of their level of intimacy with a girl, will there always be some sense/measure of pride in seeing in her the portrait of beauty He took the responsiblityto begin to shape?

Maybe. Remember not all doms want intimacy with their subs, not all doms really want to shape their subs that much.
quote:


harmony spoke well of the family unit and its responsility to its members......
does that sense of pride, honor and integirty just dissipate because one is emancipated?

If the person wants it to.



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: You are Responsible (6/10/2005 6:22:03 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: cheekybottom

Smiles I don’t. I am quite responsible as are most submissives and have much authority within my job as I am sure others do as well. But the question wasn’t if we as submissives feel responsible, but if the Dominant himself does.

And my answer is that doms probably feel responsible the same ways subs do.

quote:


I’m sorry if this is rubbing you wrong,
~d~

It's not. Don't confuse strong arguments and difficult questions with personal feelings.



ProtagonistLily -> RE: You are Responsible (6/10/2005 7:16:15 AM)

quote:

Barf

_____________________________

Master Jerry


I concur.

Lily



cheekybottom -> RE: You are Responsible (6/10/2005 8:52:30 AM)

DublinSwitch:

Some people don't necessarily understand what I'm saying as I do not write in a direct manner, instead I wish to write with feeling in hopes that it strikes a cord with someone and get them to feel first and think later. I like fresh reactions, I’ve always have. And so I am enjoying everyone’s responses even lovingmaster45 and Lily’s, scooting waste receptacle closer.

There are many points to this topic as EmeraldSlave2, harmony3709, and cumslutcockwhore have already exemplified concerning what responsibility meant to them. But let us set that word aside for now and consider a more emotional aspect rather than an analytical one. What of a person’s memories, the very things that grab at you even in the face of something new. When you let go, do you do you let go completely?

These Scarlet women, do you have one that you can’t let go the memory of, one that scratches at your mind. And you the Scarlet woman what poems can one read upon your skin is there one in which you’ve memorized?

happypervert:

I’m not speaking of changing any one person, but of enhancement. It is important to know who you are and not tailor yourself after another. A working relationship will reflect each other, the Dominant and submissive at the same point from opposite directions, a perfect mirror image. Perfection in the sense that each compliments the other, as time goes by we polish, we strengthen, what we have with one another, and sometimes the glass shatters, and we move on or do we? One can move ahead while still be lost in thought.

EsmeraldSlave2:

quote:

Remember not all doms want intimacy with their subs, not all doms really want to shape their subs that much.


Excellent point, we have a certain responsibility owed to ourselves in knowing who we are so that we don’t settle for someone incapable of serving our needs in doing so we waste their time as well.

quote:

Don't confuse strong arguments and difficult questions with personal feelings.


Smiles, I’ll try not to!

Experiences are in part who we are, not the sum, but certainly a good portion. And so I’ll think in color or rather more emotionally, while others who are more apt in black and white factual concepts. I find it important to realize that both are true these painted thoughts no matter the hue for they come from real people. I won’t tell you how to think and feel, but yeah I want to hear exactly the way you do.

~d~



AlphaGeek -> RE: You are Responsible (6/10/2005 9:26:10 AM)

Each and every one of us is responsible for what we've been, what we are, and most important of all, what we shall be.

Anyone telling you different is either seeking to place blame elsewhere or looking for money from some source or another.

Solely my opinion, your mileage may vary.

AG



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