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Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 8:40:04 AM   
BearAsSpanker


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/20/2007
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I went to the company picnic yesterday, and a coworker introduced me to her friend that is single. The funny thing is, of course is that in that venue people know me, they trust me, and they see my potential with their friends. Their friends in turn see this as an open door. There are no flags. Am I willing to take the long road with another vanilla submissive, no. The nurturing, structure can be provided to grow, but are they really wired for APE.
Of course on CM, I do not have that luxury. I see a lot of threads on criminal background checks, character and the written word. Am I just a another peacock posturing? If I display empathy for the sensitivity of others and change my profile, does that mean I am not of honorable character. Would you view this as deceptive behavior or honesty and fair-mindedness?

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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 8:43:56 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I'm not quite sure what it is you're asking.  I don't see posturing if you state who you are and what it is you want.  What's deceptive in that?

(in reply to BearAsSpanker)
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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 8:49:36 AM   
MistressNoName


Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		"...vanilla submissive?" First off, you don't know where anyone's mindset is until you get to know the person. You can make an assumption about this "vanilla" woman if you like, but that does not mean your assumption about her is correct. As for being deceptive, honest or fair-minded, I have no idea what you're asking, so I cannot respond. Please elaborate.


MNN

< Message edited by MistressNoName -- 6/24/2007 8:50:18 AM >

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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 8:51:29 AM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		To summarise the replies,

WTF?

Yours,


benji

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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 10:09:26 AM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		"vanilla submissive" isn't that almost an oxymoron of sorts?? Are you talking about a vanilla female with submissive tendancies??
 
In my vanilla life most people think I am rather dominat, I have to be; yet, with MJ, I am a pussy cat most of the time.
 
I'm hoping I can figure out what you are asking, so I will go out on a limb and say, if you show empathy that does NOT mean that you are anyway LESS of a top-type. It shows you are a human who can empathicize with another person; vanilla or not.

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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 10:43:01 AM   
LadyPaige


Posts: 187
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I read your profile and still couldn't make sense of your post.  I don't see anything insensitive in your profile for you to change, nor do I see posturing.  Unless you make changes to your profile that conflict with previous statements, I don't see why anyone would think it deceptive.

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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 11:13:04 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		i think most of us would love to answer you fully but we really dont understand the heart of your post...can you be more concise?

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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 11:15:12 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I think he's just frustrated on a Sunday morning because he doesn't have a slave even though many people who know him love and trust him.

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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 11:18:42 AM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		awww that is a bummer....

thanks for explaining it LAM

to the OP: (((hug)))

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"Its none of my buisness what other people think of me."




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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 11:24:41 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Yep, y'all have it. He is cool in real life and women come to him, but they don't here. If you only knew how great he was in "real life" he would soar.

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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 11:32:48 AM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		The Waa Waa Waa thread?

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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 11:41:40 AM   
ELUSIVE1


Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline 		"Am I willing to take the long road with another vanilla submissive, no. The nurturing, structure can be provided to grow, but are they really wired for APE.
Of course on CM, I do not have that luxury. I see a lot of threads on criminal background checks, character and the written word. Am I just a another peacock posturing? "

Posturing and assuming the 'vanilla submissive' isn't worthy of "YOUR" time and attentions....and you wonder why people TRY to introduce you to potential partners......


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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 1:25:46 PM   
canupleaseme


Posts: 775
Joined: 7/9/2006
Status: offline 		  whats posturing ??

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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 1:44:30 PM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Only if you show up on AMW or My neighborhood p***** list.

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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 4:38:12 PM   
BearAsSpanker


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline
It is true, that it's very difficult to know a person's mindsets until you get to know them better. I do think though that here, it is much easier to find a submissive with your same interests and if not, at least it is good place to start. I have met vanilla females with submissive tendencies, women that enjoy some of my interests. Some are willing to try but the collar is not for them. Here I can clearly state what I enjoy (WIITWD) and have a reasonable expectation of meeting a like-minded person.

Why do I feel like I'm posturing, because it's like a picture.   You see only what is there in the written word. I will have to be more diligent in my pursuit.

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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 5:38:20 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Your coworker introduced you to a friend of hers. The friend seemed interested in a date. You assume from this that therefore the friend will let you do anything from this whereas an online date would involve criminal checks first.

The collection of assumptions you have going is astonishing.

All you know for sure is that the friend was available to walk over to a table with you and her coffee and chat for a while. You don't know that she would afterwards have agreed to a date. Even if she had, she might have first gone home and run your name on google or other online checking sites (intelius?). You don't know for sure that she doesn't normally do that and just never mentions it. You also don't know that everybody who meets online pays for criminal checks first, insists on camming to assure gender and age matches what has been told, or any other thing. Not all of us do, some of us meet for coffee without safe calls, without exchanging pictures, etc, instead we simply talk first and then meet with no preconceptions of what will follow except getting a cup of coffee.

And even vanillas meeting friends of a friend bring another friend to the coffee shop, so they have an excuse to go home with the friend if the blind date turns out to be a minus three on a scale of one to ten.

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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 7:26:57 PM   
BearAsSpanker


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline
What I'm saying is that when I'm introduced to a woman by a mutual friend. There doesn't seem to be as many barriers in establishing a relationship. This of course is if we hit it off, we find each other attractive, you have things in common and so on. But at the same time it takes a while to know for sure that they would be a willing participant in a TPE relationship, if they would be at all.
On the Internet... People who are on this site (and others) have an interest in BDSM, and I hope that some are seeking a collar. Now one thing is for sure whether it's vanilla or this. If you don't like the person it will never work, but if there is some interest, at least in this venue, I feel you stand a better chance of getting what I really want at the end. Now if I do get to the point where I want to meet. I will hope that the two of us can find the appropriate comfort level and if that coffee was pretty darn good, and we both had fun. Next time maybe we could have dinner. I've been looking into clubs in my area. Perhaps that would be a good place to meet and play the first time. Normally, I'm not much of an exhibitionist but would be a willing participant to be safe. Perhaps somebody could shed light on how you get sponsored to some of these events. Who knows there might be some willing participants there.

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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 7:57:00 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Dude,

TPE and APE are fantasies and have about as much to do with real world BDSM relationships as porn does to sex.  I realize they are cherished concepts to many but if you read the threads here you will realize how unobtainable that is for most people and how unrewarding for many of the rest.

Why not have a rewarding relationships with someone and see where it goes?  Fuck a few of those up first, learn what it is you want first.  Some of the best women here were once vanilla, same goes for many of the dominants.

For those who will post long diatribes about how they do tpe, ape, tweak, or twinkle, I don't care and won't bother responding.

(in reply to BearAsSpanker)
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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 8:44:36 PM   
BearAsSpanker


Posts: 21
Joined: 5/20/2007
Status: offline
Everybody who is here wants to be, at lease I should hope so. If a couple have a TPE relationship perhaps to them it's real. Even if it's agreed upon. This is what they choose. I personally do not want to keep on having relationships that reach an impasse. Never assume that what is rewarding for you is rewarding for me. I do not agree that many people like myself started vanilla I clearly remember playing cowboys and Indians, I enjoying tying up the Indians. ( No offense to the Native Americans) I remember the Indian, enjoyed being tied. Was I taught this at age 7, or was I imprinted with this by nature? I don't know, but I'm here, willingly.

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RE: Peafowl posturing - 6/24/2007 9:12:00 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Ok, I'm lost...  I can't tell if you are asking a question or are trying to make a statement.  I can't determine whether you are advertising or in a process of self discovery and wish to move a bit fast in my opinion. Why not learn some more... get comfortable with where you are and take people for being people rather than vanilla or otherwise?  If you are focused on a lifestyle relationship... continue to be where they are... but take your time.  Some submissives will take an inexperienced Dom... for which I am thankful because I am new.  But you can't walk into a room expecting to find your one true love just because it is a room filled with people with the same interest.  It takes time.  It takes work.

The lifestyle isn't just about bondage or any sexual thing... it is so much more and those things take some time to understand/learn and then move into.  A submissive is going to be looking to you for a lot more than being tied.  Being Dom is a big responsiblity.

If I am misunderstanding... I am sorry.

Lockit

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