Disgusting (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

Ldyniteshade -> Disgusting (6/9/2005 8:18:54 PM)

I know i should probably leave this topic alone. its a peeve im sure is shared by many. and heaven knows im new. mabye this is a fetish i just dont know about. But i somehow dont think so. if youll forgive my saying. It has come to my attention. afte the second email of its kind, and forth PM with no inqury of the like. That while this beautifull thing some consider a lifestyle, an art, a hobby or just a curiosity, is wholy alive with nothing to be shamed for. and all sorts of kind and polite folks give it life. There are those out there, who are shamelessly Useing it as a sexual outlet and like starlings to an otherwise peacefull group of sparows, slowly trying to take over. They have no respect. No real knownledge, or what they Do know they get from some cheap courner store novel or One sites opinionated artical, or a friend in florida. or last weeks kinky date. Frankly i find it disgusting. offensive and injury to insult. the mainstream already have us as some sort of sick freaks. we know differntly and can stand proude amidst that. but now its crept into the community. they say there into this and that. and have done wild things and are so experienced. But its a masque only. They grasp the physicality while understandng Non of the spirituality or metephisicality. Mabye i just dont see a point in masquarading in a dangerous game for a sexual kick. mabye im wrong to have even posted this. but it just seems wrong to me that now something that began as a place to meet and greet without insult to the mainstream injury, has become nothing more to many then another street corner on the net for overhormoned young teens and the stalkers of the web. Thank you for your time.



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Disgusting (6/9/2005 8:33:09 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ldyniteshade
mabye this is a fetish i just dont know about. But i somehow dont think so. if youll forgive my saying. It has come to my attention. afte the second email of its kind, and forth PM with no inqury of the like.

You really don't say what specificlally you're so disillusioned by so I can't respond to that. Just the entire fact that not everyone treats this the same way that you do?

quote:

There are those out there, who are shamelessly Useing it as a sexual outlet and like starlings to an otherwise peacefull group of sparows, slowly trying to take over.

Well you said it's nothing to be ashamed about. if people want to use bdsm as a sexual outlet, go for it! Lord knows I'm an active slut and try to have bdsm and sex often. There really aren't that many of us on the board who are in a state of chastity and I don't think any of us will say we prefer vanilla sex to bdsm sex, so what's wrong with the using it as a sexual outlet?

quote:


They have no respect. No real knownledge, or what they Do know they get from some cheap courner store novel or One sites opinionated artical, or a friend in florida. or last weeks kinky date.

Weren't we all at some point? Now, respect is another issue, but that is the way of things.
quote:


Frankly i find it disgusting. offensive and injury to insult.

You don't say WHAT you find disgusting and offensive? The fact that there are clueless dorks out there? Goodness, how have you managed to survive this long without being consumed by it?

quote:

but now its crept into the community. they say there into this and that. and have done wild things and are so experienced. But its a masque only.

Umm how do you know? Are there liars out there? Sure. But...so? It sucks, get involved with the non-liars, everyone's happy.

quote:


They grasp the physicality while understandng Non of the spirituality or metephisicality.

Well it's pretty closed minded to say that it's only good and pure if it's all spiritual and metaphysical. For me, Ms is a way of being in a relationship. My spirituality is totally unrelated to bdsm and M/s except in the fact that my spirituality deals with everything in my life.

And sometimes, well sometimes with a beau I just WANT to fuck, I just WANT to beat them, I just WANT to enjoy what it is I have. Sorry if that's beneath your standards of what's acceptable and offends you. OK, no I'm not sorry.

quote:


Mabye i just dont see a point in masquarading in a dangerous game for a sexual kick.

I don't see a point either because the lies are ALWAYS revealed and no one ends up happy. But some people love drama.

quote:

but it just seems wrong to me that now something that began as a place to meet and greet without insult to the mainstream injury, has become nothing more to many then another street corner on the net for overhormoned young teens and the stalkers of the web. Thank you for your time.

Whatever gave you the idea that being here was different than anywhere else? People in bdsm are JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. Sorry you seem bewildered, hurt and upset over it, but that's the truth.



jetsilver -> RE: Disgusting (6/9/2005 8:34:21 PM)

The problem's separable. Some people start with WIITWD as a fashion statement and wind up players; some really and truly are interested and know it; some are users and some are pathological. That's why it's good to know people you play with by reputation or reference. If someone says X is "a poseur but has talent" that is a positive statement to me. If someone has -no- references I will always and only play publicly with that person at first - and in a scene where the boundaries are well defined. Many of the people with whom you're upset will cave when the negotiation gets serious anyway, so by their acts shall ye know them.

It sucks a little to be new; you don't usually get to dive right in. A bit of sympathy and a hope for the best, combined with survival instinct, are the styles of mind I try to employ with new people.



ProScatman -> RE: Disgusting (6/9/2005 8:44:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ldyniteshade

I know i should probably leave this topic alone. its a peeve im sure is shared by many. and heaven knows im new. mabye this is a fetish i just dont know about. But i somehow dont think so. if youll forgive my saying. It has come to my attention. afte the second email of its kind, and forth PM with no inqury of the like. That while this beautifull thing some consider a lifestyle, an art, a hobby or just a curiosity, is wholy alive with nothing to be shamed for. and all sorts of kind and polite folks give it life. There are those out there, who are shamelessly Useing it as a sexual outlet and like starlings to an otherwise peacefull group of sparows, slowly trying to take over. They have no respect. No real knownledge, or what they Do know they get from some cheap courner store novel or One sites opinionated artical, or a friend in florida. or last weeks kinky date. Frankly i find it disgusting. offensive and injury to insult. the mainstream already have us as some sort of sick freaks. we know differntly and can stand proude amidst that. but now its crept into the community. they say there into this and that. and have done wild things and are so experienced. But its a masque only. They grasp the physicality while understandng Non of the spirituality or metephisicality. Mabye i just dont see a point in masquarading in a dangerous game for a sexual kick. mabye im wrong to have even posted this. but it just seems wrong to me that now something that began as a place to meet and greet without insult to the mainstream injury, has become nothing more to many then another street corner on the net for overhormoned young teens and the stalkers of the web. Thank you for your time.

That is a pretty scathing judgement call; don't you think? Unless you've met all these individuals, and know for a fact what you are saying is true, it isn't fair! Not fair to them, and not fair to the rest of the members here! It's simple, basically. If you are e-mailed, messaged, or contacted in any other way by someone you think fits into this catagory--ignore them! What you have here is an expose' that thrills the attackers, and lets them know they are getting to someone! That is how I deal with them, and it works! I have made a few good friends here; even though our sexual and lifestyle interests aren't the same. In a word acceptance of difference!



ProScatman -> RE: Disgusting (6/9/2005 9:05:40 PM)

C.O.S.



GreyStorm -> RE: Disgusting (6/9/2005 9:23:08 PM)

*wonders if he is stupid for not knowing what C.O.S. stands for then realizes it is 11:24 pm and he has been up since 5 am working his butt off and is a bit tired so he decides not to care anymore*



onceburned -> RE: Disgusting (6/9/2005 9:52:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ldyniteshade
There are those out there, who are shamelessly Useing it as a sexual outlet and like starlings to an otherwise peacefull group of sparows, slowly trying to take over. They have no respect. No real knownledge


I am thinking that some of the Horny Net Geeks (HNGs) have introduced themselves to you. HNGs come in both flavors, dom and sub, but really are the same thing... folks who have decided that D/s is an easy means to sex.

HNGs can be a real plague, especially to those new to a site and to the younger members. Unfortunately, they seem to be everywhere the internet is and Collarme is included. The 'delete' button and the 'block' button will likely become familar you to you.

But remember that there are good folks here. [:)]



kittencurious -> RE: Disgusting (6/10/2005 12:32:45 AM)

i know this isn't directly about me since i didn't message the OP or anyone else here for that matter, but all of this lifestyle stuff is very much wrapped up with my sexual outlets and other such nasties and though this is apparently not trendy i don't feel the need to be ashamed over it.

maybe i'm missing the point. :\



MzBerlin -> RE: Disgusting (6/10/2005 12:53:09 AM)

Wow. That was dramatic.
I hope you feel better. Sometimes the boards are good for ranting and raving.
I'm not sure exactly what you're upset about, but I'm going to take a stab at it. People view "the lifestyle", "wiiwd", "BDSM" etc., etc., in many different ways and approach it from different angles. Some people approach it from a physical standpoint, an emotional standpoint, a spiritual standpoint, and so on and so forth. We all look at life differently and this is no different. I don't think there's any "right" way to "do it". Balance, as in everything, is the key.
I think that perhaps the people that you don't care for are fixated on a different angle of whatever part of wiitwd than you are. Or maybe you are fixated on a different angle than they are. Either way, learn to appriciate honesty in yourself and others. And if you don't want to talk to someone- don't. It's as simple as that.
Also, I noticed that you are 21. Go get involved in your Real Life Community. You're young and it will be both fun and eye-opening, I'm sure. It gives everyone perspective.
Welcome to the boards!! Have fun!!!
-B



Moleculor -> RE: Disgusting (6/10/2005 2:01:49 AM)

Aw. Do people not bow to your view of How Things Should Be?



cumslutcockwhore -> RE: Disgusting (6/10/2005 5:40:34 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Ldyniteshade

I know i should probably leave this topic alone. its a peeve im sure is shared by many. and heaven knows im new. mabye this is a fetish i just dont know about. But i somehow dont think so. if youll forgive my saying. It has come to my attention. afte the second email of its kind, and forth PM with no inqury of the like. That while this beautifull thing some consider a lifestyle, an art, a hobby or just a curiosity, is wholy alive with nothing to be shamed for. and all sorts of kind and polite folks give it life. There are those out there, who are shamelessly Useing it as a sexual outlet and like starlings to an otherwise peacefull group of sparows, slowly trying to take over. They have no respect. No real knownledge, or what they Do know they get from some cheap courner store novel or One sites opinionated artical, or a friend in florida. or last weeks kinky date. Frankly i find it disgusting. offensive and injury to insult. the mainstream already have us as some sort of sick freaks. we know differntly and can stand proude amidst that. but now its crept into the community. they say there into this and that. and have done wild things and are so experienced. But its a masque only. They grasp the physicality while understandng Non of the spirituality or metephisicality. Mabye i just dont see a point in masquarading in a dangerous game for a sexual kick. mabye im wrong to have even posted this. but it just seems wrong to me that now something that began as a place to meet and greet without insult to the mainstream injury, has become nothing more to many then another street corner on the net for overhormoned young teens and the stalkers of the web. Thank you for your time.



i feel the same way about marriage or a myriad of other topics.
To seperate out the "pansexual," swinging, and open relationships from "purity" of lifestyle is only a useless fruitless activity........
debaucery exits at all levels, not just in what one's defintion of BDSM is.

~~ just me



cumslutcockwhore -> RE: Disgusting (6/10/2005 5:45:58 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: GreyStorm

*wonders if he is stupid for not knowing what C.O.S. stands for then realizes it is 11:24 pm and he has been up since 5 am working his butt off and is a bit tired so he decides not to care anymore*


hardily agrees after another sleepless night and needing to go back to another demanding 12 hour day of work.

~~just me



perfection20005 -> RE: Disgusting (6/10/2005 9:34:14 AM)

Everyone has their own opinion of this lifestyle and what it means to them. I can hold my head high and don't care what anyone thinks.

perfection



MzBerlin -> RE: Disgusting (6/10/2005 10:04:09 AM)

Moleculor-
Huh?
B



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Disgusting (6/10/2005 10:42:15 AM)

He probably wasn't replying directly to you, more likely the OP.

I've had that problem before when you don't include any of the OPs post. Your reply button just happened to be closest to the mouse at the time!



Kinkypupper -> RE: Disgusting (6/10/2005 12:21:52 PM)

This "lifestyle" has many many critics. but there is also a opening up an a more general acceptance over the last few years.
Look at the 1.5 hr CSI Las vegas program. that had to do witha Domanatrix Such a program ( weather good or bad) would NOT have been considered 20 years ago at all.
It does open "us" up to more critisism. regardless if its legal or from self appointed people like "DR" Laura or Opria.
For those not "in the closant" how we react to such comments is very important.
For those "IN" the closant ( for personal or professional reasons) thats way OK.
"Our" strength is in our acceptance of all without being narrow minded or preudicial.
I have no problem walking into a restraunt with a flogger on a belt and smileat those who do see it.
I will also not flaunt who or what i am but i will never EVER hide it from my children nor my customers or friends. Any any "sub" of mine will walk in public or in church or where ever wearing a collar with her head high and eyes smiling.

ok.. NO i do NOT condone "play" in front of minors Nor do I condone or approve of children below the age of 15-16 seeing or hearing it. ( by that age they will already know what is going on anyway and if they grow up with the attitude that its consentual and "fun" then I am being a good responsible parent).



mnottertail -> RE: Disgusting (6/10/2005 12:24:47 PM)

Oh, Dammit........
I thought this would be about something disgusting.........just another polythread.



Ldyniteshade -> RE: Disgusting (6/10/2005 2:57:32 PM)

Whew....>.< i was afraid to post in the first place...now im not posting anything ealse..my sincerest apologies for creating a thought and placeing it out there. ill just vanish and keep my thoughts to myself from now on



darkinshadows -> RE: Disgusting (6/10/2005 3:18:13 PM)

Please do not be put off by negative comments - your post is a voicing of an opinion and a valid one.

People do abuse sites - and use it souly for trolling and unfortuantely it does happen. Its all very easy for people to respond sarcastically(even crass sarcasm) to such a 'rant' - or airing of thoughts. Maybe they are fortuante not to have been inundated by 'on your knees bitch' - or 'can we meet next week' emails.

BDSM for some, however, is about sexual release. And if that floats their boat, thats great for them. Some people use Ds within a relationship which is (usually) seen as alot more than sexual, and that is where the confusion can occur. A sexual submissive is alot different than a service one. Some people use all concepts.

Your new to the site, and you will probably be targeted by 'trolls' until they see you have been here a few months. It happens alot with slaves and submissive on websites like this( even dominants and switches) - just take the time and use patience to discover what is out there on the site and ignore the negative (its a great feature!)

And warmest welcomes to CM and the forum.

Peace and Love



LadyAngelika -> RE: Disgusting (6/10/2005 3:49:49 PM)

quote:

BDSM for some, however, is about sexual release.


Exactly. Because BDSM is about a whole lot more then just D/s. And many people on these boards are not "lifestyle", but simply are kinky and like to partake in WIITWD.

If you want to come play in this big sandbox, I suggest you approach us with something other then a rant. Then perhaps you won't feel a backlash.

Welcome to the boards.

- LA



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.03125