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What Makes You Tick? - 6/26/2007 8:29:33 AM

lovingsteel07

Posts: 6
Joined: 5/30/2007
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Being a primarily submissive male switch who has only recently begun exploring the concept of dominance, I look at the world through the eyes of a servant, but I have often wondered what makes Mistresses tick... What they feel about the experience of domination, what makes this or that submissive appeal to them, what they want out of D/s relationships... So if any of You would like to share Your thoughts on the subject, I would really like to hear what you have to say.

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RE: What Makes You Tick? - 6/26/2007 9:01:18 AM

HeavansKeeper

Posts: 1254
Joined: 5/14/2007
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I'm a firm believer in an innate similarity between men and women. I feel people of both genders who lean toward dominant behavior have enough in common for me to feel qualified to at least give you my opinion.

Dominating another is not an easy thing. Even if the tendencies come naturally, it takes a lot of creativity, trust, and willpower to do it right. A good submissive gives up most or all of his/her power to a dominant. Said dominant has the ability AND (not or) responsibility to use it.

I am not unique in my situation, but from what I gather it isn't completely (I cringe to term it this way) 'stereotypically standard d/s relations.' I love My Pet. If she wasn't willfully My Slave, she'd still be my lady. I have a constant (and enjoyable) internal battle between putting my wants and desires before her and ensuirng she feels loved. I know she enjoys serving me, and lives for the opportunity to, but I don't want her to wake up one day and feel used. And I mean 'used' in an abusive sense. In my mind, what gives me the right to use her as I see fit is that I know she feels loved and I know she trusts me to respect her.... Even if I am writing "My Fuck Toy" on her breasts in red lipstick.

What makes me tick? I can't speak for anyone else, but 'our' happiness makes me tick. I am happy taking pleasure from her. She is happy giving pleasure to me. "It's a beautiful circle and we're lucky to walk it forever." I want her to be happy, I want her to be satisfied, and I feel that as Her Master, I can bring her to that point.

Some people might see this as a 'topping from the bottom' or misunderstanding of a d/s dynamic, but I don't. I think a Master wants the best for his or her Pets. Just because she is happy certainly does not mean she holds the leash. (The loopy end, not the clicky end.)

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The Loving Owner of HisHeavan

... You've waited your whole life for this moment...

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RE: What Makes You Tick? - 6/26/2007 9:04:29 AM

Calandra

Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
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I have a naturally dominant personality that comes out wherever I am. I like to organize things and oversee things and feel great satisfaction when everything comes out well. Of course I like to get MY needs and wants met, but there's a special feeling inside when I can get that and also know that those in service to Me are happy and fulfilled too.

I also enjoy the scene or fetish side of the lifestyle as well, but My main enjoyment comes from the more mundane aspects. I like to be happy and secure within a circle of happy and secure individuals who dote upon Me.

What kinds of submissives appeal to Me? To be honest, I am drawn to those who enjoy pleasing others with a truly submissive streak - those who can relax into their life's choices and use their skills and impulses to make both of us happy. They must also be unselfish and openminded towards others since I have a poly household. I outright reject manipulative, bratty, or abrasive individuals since poly is difficult enough without harshness among the ranks.

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Lady Kathryn
Athens, Ga.
House of Phoenix

"Nothing is ever final until you're dead - and even then I'm sure God negotiates" Anjelica Huston in Everafter

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RE: What Makes You Tick? - 6/26/2007 10:53:50 PM

queencaliph

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Joined: 6/4/2007
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Don't know what makes me tick. I truly don't know why I get pleasure from dominating male submissives. I've always told myself that I'm just weird.....but boy is it a "wonderful kind of weird!"

I have met a sub-male that has helped me see what type of D/s relationship I am looking for........ When he first contacted me, he said nothing about D/s. He complimented me on a story I had written and from there we started emailing back and forth. We rarely talk about WIITWD. We've been way too busy building a friendship. We have found out we have a lot in common and are not too far away in proximity to each other. He asks me about my day and shares with me about what's happening in his life. Instead of asking what kind of toys I have, he asks about the dreams I have for my life. We talk about our families and art and music and poetry and so many things. He has never asked me to meet or to do a session. But now, I want to meet my friend in person. I want to do a session with him, and even if it doesn't work out in the D/s area we are friends and I want to keep that. I have plenty of men asking to be my sub, but he made an effort to be my friend. THAT was his appeal.

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"awwww hell......the Queen!"

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RE: What Makes You Tick? - 6/27/2007 12:25:52 AM

MsRose

Posts: 98
Joined: 5/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: queencaliph

Don't know what makes me tick. I truly don't know why I get pleasure from dominating male submissives. I've always told myself that I'm just weird.....but boy is it a "wonderful kind of weird!"

I have met a sub-male that has helped me see what type of D/s relationship I am looking for........ When he first contacted me, he said nothing about D/s. He complimented me on a story I had written and from there we started emailing back and forth. We rarely talk about WIITWD. We've been way too busy building a friendship. We have found out we have a lot in common and are not too far away in proximity to each other. He asks me about my day and shares with me about what's happening in his life. Instead of asking what kind of toys I have, he asks about the dreams I have for my life. We talk about our families and art and music and poetry and so many things. He has never asked me to meet or to do a session. But now, I want to meet my friend in person. I want to do a session with him, and even if it doesn't work out in the D/s area we are friends and I want to keep that. I have plenty of men asking to be my sub, but he made an effort to be my friend. THAT was his appeal.

This sounds like an ideal beginning, queencaliph, and certainly a path that I would like to embark on when engaging in correspondence with a sub. I hope you continue to be friends with this sub-male. Good luck with your first meeting as friends.
MR.

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"man is born free, and everywhere he is in chains" ~ Rousseau.

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