domitablespirit -> RE: 2 mouths, one cock (6/26/2007 12:49:01 PM)
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I think I agree with LuckyAlbatross on this one: a clear explanation of what's expected during the course of a scene or session can help to mitigate confusion in advance, or, where previous explanation is not forthcoming for some reason, then guidance can also be helpful. If the scene was intended to "test" something, I would have at least made mention that that was what I intended. There will always be times when something doesn't work right--someone once said, "if you can't laugh during sex, then what's the point? Aren't we supposed to be having fun?")--but I know that I always feel awkward and inadequate when I fail to follow and/or meet expectations, and then find a lack of direction on top of it. This conversation wouldn't even be happening right now if, in that instance, everyone knew what was happening from the get-go: a question of style should be asked by the dominant, in my opinion. (I, for one, am very particular about oral sex, and I can't imagine anyone saying, "well, you know, just do whatever you feel like.") Whose responsibility is it to instruct whom in this situation--and, consequently, whose responsibility is it to do the research? Furthermore, may I stress the importance of constructive criticism? Stating that a dominant lacks something in his/her style shouldn't be taken as an affront--to the contrary, it should be taken for what it's worth and used in a constructive way, "for future reference."
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