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GoddessDustyGold -> RE: Faults (6/11/2005 7:27:42 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RiotGirl
As for this thread. i thought i pretty well stated what i thought, in a clear concise manner. Maybe its too much ramblings and musings thrown together? Okay, from the top. i believe everyone has their own unique set of faults. No one is perfect and no one is better then anyone else. i believe it is wise to find out what another's faults are before commiting oneself, because it is the "faults" of each other that will make or break the relationship. As the "good" is generally a pretty easy thing to get along with. i believe when it comes to relationships, its all about what you can and can not deal with.
Second topic. The questions i asked Emerald. And yes i already had a belief and was curious to hers. i believe that it is our duty (duty is a terrible word, but for lack of better) as submissives and s/o's to help our Doms improve. Because it also services them in their world. i believe our Tops do help us, vanilla wise, by improving us to their ideals. Example : Quitting smoking. That is something that could please a Master, but also helps the slave outside of the Master. Therefore i think its one in the same. Our Doms help us D/s and vanilla. Though it doesnt matter which world the improvement touches on or even if both, they are still helping us. As people who love, and subs that serve ~ shouldnt we also help them improve? i think we should. Like i also said, there are alot of faults we as people can not see about ourselves. Isnt it a service to point out the things our Doms can not see about themselves? i think it is.
Thank you for explaining, riotgirl. I feel better now.
Yes, W/we all have faults and W/we all should want relationships that are beneficial to both parties. So, if and when I have a good relationship with a boy, I would be open to him mentioning something he noticed. I am aware I don't eat at the right times. That should be pointed out to Me. But, I am also aware I smoke (there's a fault!), and no matter how strongly the boy feels about My health, until I am ready to quit, I am not going to do it. (I only mention smoking since you used it as an example). So no matter how much a boy wants Me to quit smoking and feels it is an improvement for Me, until I am ready, I will just get annoyed. And if he is concerned for his own health, then he shouldn't have come to Me in the first place. On the flip side, if he notices I am a foot shuffler, or that I react negatively to certain things too often, I would appreciate that input, and take a look at Myself.
Admittedly the Dominant has the upper hand in these situations, and, IMO, it is never good for a relationship where the Dominant is always right in every thing, and every habit, but it is a delicate situation. And there are some Dominants out there who do feel they are right all the time. Some things are acceptable and some are not. Each relationship is different and has different tolerance levels for different attitudes and dialogues. I have seen tons of questions on these boards from submissives who ask questions about something that happened or is happening and wondering if this is right. Unless it is illegal or medically harmful, no one can really say, yea or nay. All W/we can do is opine whether or not W/we would participate in such an acitivty or not and why or why not. SSC is really different for E/everybody. I demand things Others do not. I will not demand things Others insist upon.
So Some might see your effort to "improve" your Dom as a good thing, and Others might consider it just disrespectful.
Only you and your Master can work that out for Y/yourselves.
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