how many times do we say sub not stupid (Full Version)

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frazzle40 -> how many times do we say sub not stupid (6/27/2007 4:44:22 PM)

How many times do we say, im sub not stupid. then become stupid.    

6 missed meets, all reasons very plausable.        Had someone else posted this, i'd have laughed. Said gullible idiot.

Yes i have the home phone number, he has mine.     When i look now at some of the excuses they make me laugh,       but i fell, hook line and sinker.

Lets say we need to take a reality check, if someone else was going through what youre going through, what would you say.        Exactly forget it.        So easy to give advice very hard to take it.

Sorry wasnt a question there, just a pause for thought.




KatyLied -> RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid (6/27/2007 5:23:43 PM)

You gave someone SIX chances?  Who's stupid here?




amiciaN -> RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid (6/27/2007 5:28:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle40

How many times do we say, im sub not stupid. then become stupid.    

6 missed meets, all reasons very plausable.        Had someone else posted this, i'd have laughed. Said gullible idiot.

Yes i have the home phone number, he has mine.     When i look now at some of the excuses they make me laugh,       but i fell, hook line and sinker.

Lets say we need to take a reality check, if someone else was going through what youre going through, what would you say.        Exactly forget it.        So easy to give advice very hard to take it.

Sorry wasnt a question there, just a pause for thought.


Been there, done that too.  [sm=ofcourse.gif]

<gives you a hug, polishes up the "Submissive, Not Stupid" button that you got at 'subbie orientation'  [sm=rolleyes.gif] and carefully pins it back on, figuring you've had to deal with a nasty little prick already>




DiurnalVampire -> RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid (6/27/2007 5:32:25 PM)

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me once, shame on me.
My motto, and one you might want to practice.  I am all for giving someone a second change. But, 3 strikes and you are out.

I dont think it was necessarily stupid, it MIGHT have been your not wanting to believe anyone could really be that bad. Sometimes, we see what we want to in someone.

Now, no harm no foul.  You missed meetings, but youve learned. You didnt suffer any loss from the missed meets, and aside from a bruised ego you are none the worse for wear.

Dust off, and next tiem, no matter how much you want to believe someone really isnt that bad... remember the motto

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.

DV




gypsygrl -> RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid (6/27/2007 5:59:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle40

How many times do we say, im sub not stupid. then become stupid.    

6 missed meets, all reasons very plausable.        Had someone else posted this, i'd have laughed. Said gullible idiot.

Yes i have the home phone number, he has mine.     When i look now at some of the excuses they make me laugh,       but i fell, hook line and sinker.

Lets say we need to take a reality check, if someone else was going through what youre going through, what would you say.        Exactly forget it.        So easy to give advice very hard to take it.

Sorry wasnt a question there, just a pause for thought.


Yup, and a pause worth taking.  I usually try to be gentle in my comments on other people's trouble.   My thinking is that its just a matter of time before I go and do something totally stupid. 




sambamanslilgirl -> RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid (6/27/2007 6:00:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

I am all for giving someone a second change. But, 3 strikes and you are out.


that's how many i recently gave this Dom i met from here before dumping him - too many promises broken and excuses




Quivver -> RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid (6/27/2007 6:42:28 PM)

The best part of all this is when the lightbulb goes off and you dont stick your head in the sand.  [;)]

edited cause my fingers didnt work......




frazzle40 -> RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid (6/27/2007 6:50:10 PM)

Thanks for responses.      Wasnt looking for sympathy, just pointing out we all do the exact opposite, of what we'd sensibly advise others.  
I'm not exactly new to this and common sense says i knew better, but we all kick ourselves at some point.
Might give food for thought for some who havent been around as long. Stupidity doesnt just effect those new to this.




WhiplashSmile -> RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid (6/27/2007 8:01:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle40

How many times do we say, im sub not stupid. then become stupid.    

6 missed meets, all reasons very plausable.        Had someone else posted this, i'd have laughed. Said gullible idiot.

Yes i have the home phone number, he has mine.     When i look now at some of the excuses they make me laugh,       but i fell, hook line and sinker.

Lets say we need to take a reality check, if someone else was going through what youre going through, what would you say.        Exactly forget it.        So easy to give advice very hard to take it.

Sorry wasnt a question there, just a pause for thought.


Don't feel bad, same things happens with Dom/mes as well.  I think many of us try to look for and find the best in people, and we extend ourselves to a point, until we finally reach a limit to the BS we can put up with.   Do we all feel stupid afterwards, you betcha we do.. however we walked the extra mile in giving out something called faith, trust and belief.  How bad can that be.. because One day somebody will appreciate these things when we give it to them.  Never know when it will be just want is needed or required.   You did your best, and that's all anybody can expect of themselves.   Don't stop believing, and keep on going.   Take it easy on yourself.    It's not a submissive thing to fall hook, line and sinker.   I had somebody "Do me Dirty" as well.  LOL




slaverosebeauty -> RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid (6/27/2007 8:52:55 PM)

If someone missed 6 phone calls or times when we were suppose to talk in person, by phone, or on IM, I am pissed as hell and gone; that's it, eviedntly something was amiss, and now I am too, I'm gone. Once chance, fine, 2 possibly if they have a great reason, not an excuse, 3rd time and you are OUT. I delete you from my life. I don't put up with bs or with immaturity and irresponsibility.




themischievous1 -> RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid (6/27/2007 9:05:44 PM)

-hugs-

It's when you want something really bad that you're willing to give so many chances. You want it so bad you can taste it and you don't want them to f things up. Of course you can't control that though and they often blow it. Try not to be too hard on yourself, frazzle. It doesn't matter whether you're new or ancient to this lifestyle, we all want the one we're crushin on to get it right. And we all sit back and watch another one crash and burn despite our best hopes. Dust yourself off and climb back on the horse after a little taking care of you..




julietsierra -> RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid (6/28/2007 2:43:38 AM)

To the OP:

Ok... call me stupid...

But here's a little story about a missed meeting:

We made plans to meet. He was supposed to come to MI from VA...
1: There was a storm (on the news, truth there) and it knocked over a tree on to his garage roof. Have to get the insurance people and all that stuff taken care of,
"But, I'm on my way just as soon as this gets taken care of"
2. Went to the airport and AMAZING! The e-ticket I purchased, they say was never paid for and darn it all, I didn't bring the receipt. "But I'm on my way just as soon as this gets taken care of."
3. Went back to the airport - plane cancelled due to mechanical difficulties. "But I'm on my way just as soon as this gets taken care of - this time, I'll just rent a car (you know how dangerous the mts can  be during this time of year (October) I want a 4-wheel drive just in case."
4. Have the car. On my way. Just have to drop the dog off at the vet's for boarding. Not sure what they'll say since I can't find it's shot record. "But I'm on my way."
5. Found the shot record, tried to drop the dog off at the vet, but they're full for boarding. "Don't give up! I'm on my way."
6. Took the dog to another vet I know, but for some reason they won't accept VA's shot record... why? Oh, cause I took him to a vet in W.VA. Have to take him home and find someone to take care of him. "But I'm on my way."
7. Secretary is taking the dog, I've got the car. I'm on my way!!.....oh you're just not going to believe this, but while I was driving, the transmission on this rental started slipping. I have to go get a new car..... wow, they have no more 4-wheel drive cars to rent. Won't have one ready till Wed. Don't worry though, I'm on my way.
8 OMG! You won't believe this, but I was just outside of MI, driving behind a van with one of those turtle luggage carriers on it, and IT FLEW OFF THE ROOF OF THE CAR, SMASHED INTO THE WINDOW OF MY RENTED CAR AND I'M IN THE HOSPITAL WITH MY JAW WIRED SHUT!!! "I'm calling a friend to take me home to recuperate, but don't give up, I'm on my way."
9. (Recuperation complete) Make plans. I'm coming in for New Year's Eve. I've got my ticket, receipt and I won't drive behind any cars with turtle luggage carriers on them once I get there. I'm on my way.........(calling "from the air") You won't believe this, but there's turbulent weather and they've rerouted the plane to Cincinnati! Go on to your party, I'll be there."

That was the last time I heard from him. In truth, about the time of excuse #6 I regained my brain and from then on, I and a g/f would get together just to place bets as to what his next excuse would be and then laugh like hell when it popped up, but still...

Color me stupid past excuse #3

You're definitely not alone.

juliet




slaveish -> RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid (6/28/2007 5:37:48 AM)

~raucous laughter~ Oh, juliet.

I think we can all be a little blind when it comes to something we really (think we) want.




GhitaAmati -> RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid (6/28/2007 6:01:27 AM)

I think we've probably ALL had one of those experiances....and I dont think it's all in the BDSM world either.

So there I was...sitting out front of starbucks, waiting on this guy Id met offline a few times previously and had actually hit it off well with. He's running a bit late, I figure nothing big..he's always been on time before, I can understand once in a while. He doesnt call though, so I sit and wait some more. I try calling him, no answer. Finally...about 30 minutes past when he was supposed to show up, his car pulls up to the publix next door. He gets out....with his wife and two kids.

I didnt go introduce myself, but I really wanted to.




angelicslaveMDF -> RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid (6/28/2007 6:41:07 AM)

well please dont be to harsh on yourself...at some points in our lives...we ALL have wanted something bad enough that we tend to take and excuse and give them the benefit of a doubt...a lot...i mean after all...if they loved us...they would never lie to us...

so as long as you take it as a learning experience....learn a lesson from it and apply it to future relationships...then you are doing good

*hugssss to lessons learned*




SirDominic -> RE: how many times do we say sub not stupid (6/28/2007 11:05:22 AM)

quote:

so as long as you take it as a learning experience....learn a lesson from it and apply it to future relationships...then you are doing good


Couldn't have said it better myself angelic.

Have to admit this is a hard limit for me. My time is valuable. If I make an appointment to meet someone, I'm there. And if something delays me, I call. Period.

I expect the same in return. If someone does not show the first time, there is no second time. If they do not show and call with a reason, fine. But if that happens the second time, there is no third time.

What can I say, this is just one of those things that pushes my buttons. Besides, my attitude is, plenty of more fish in the sea. No-one is worth so much that being disrespectful should be tolerated.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
Sir Dominic




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