Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (Full Version)

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EvaLass -> Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/28/2007 8:43:38 AM)

I started a post on pain recently and asked if people really build up a tolerance for it. I really don't believe I will ever been a "pain slut" but very experienced people - Doms and subs - say it is impossible for an inexperienced submissive to know how she will change over time. I stick with the pain from canes and rods because it gives such pleasure to the Dom giving it. I have no point of comparison to know if pain I am experiencing is really and truly severe or if I am just very sensitive to any kind of pain. I have refrained from using a safe word. Even while getting some painful whacks recently, I hung in there to see how I would respond and feel, and also because the Dom was having a wonderful time watching me writhe and squirm. Later, when the endorphins kicked it, I got a huge rush and then a great feeling of calm that lasted two days. It is a mystery to me how someone can accept pain being inflicted and feel close to and intimate with the person giving it, but it happened to me despite my dislike of painful sensations.

One friend mentioned breathing exercises. The idea is to breathe in white light and breathe out to disperse it throughout the body; then to alternate by breathing in again to collect all the darkness in the body and breathe out to disperse it into the air. That is two full breath cycles. I was doing some of this breathing, and the Dom noticed it and said "Good girl."  I had a hard time remembering the full cycle, but I did manage to breathe in and out and that seemed to help. Does anyone have specific breathing techniques to share or resources that provide suggestions? What about other ways of dealing with pain?


My experience with pain - and I was getting it via multiple toys - is that it kept me fully in the moment, allowing no escape. I have read other people say that pain sends them into sub space and they lose awareness of its severity. Not me. I felt each and every blow, and after a while I became very tense anticipating what might happen next. Any insights into pain and how to deal with it are sought. It would be easy to say "not too much pain, Sir" but I do like a challenge and want to learn and experience more before I decide.

eva



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/28/2007 8:49:23 AM)

I've decided that I'm not a masochist, that I can get my intense fun kinky highs in many ways NOT involving pain and thus will not involve myself in scenes which involve pain unless there is some sincere intense connection to submit to their sadism.



heartfeltsub -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/28/2007 9:03:47 AM)

When i first started playing i was an incredible wimp and now some see me as a fairly heavy player (realizing that that is a relative term) but i would concur that as a new player it is hard to know how much pain you will eventually be able to handle. That being said, i also am one who stays present to the pain, 99.9999% of the time, (have experienced sub space once during play). i use a couple of techniques to try to deal with the pain, some of it is the breathing, visualizing blowing out the pain with each breath. However when the pain level gets to be too great for this to continue working, what does work for me, is touching someone, holding someone's hand, it helps me to calm down enough to push the pain out (hopefully that makes some sort of sense) and then i can start again.

heartfelt



EvaLass -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/28/2007 9:14:31 AM)

LA, I understand what you are saying. I can go into subspace when someone pulls my hair. I would imagine that you made a decision about pain after you had some experiences. I like pleasure sensations far more than painful ones, and I don't believe I am a masochist. However, I do have a sincere connection with the Dom giving the pain - and a somewhat intense one as well. My main satisfaction came from feeling his pleasure in watching me submit to the pain, but I did have a huge rush later. I think you are wise to reject the idea of accepting pain for pain's sake without some kind of connection, although some people like and want pain, plain and simple.  Whether it will be a lifestyle element for me, who knows? People I really respect say that a new submissive really can't make a judgment about pain until she has had some experiences. So, I want to learn more - and to try out breathing or other techniques that people have found helpful in dealing with pain as it is happening. I do have to say that I was surprised at the power of receiving pain sensations combined with great tenderness in the same scene.



Wildfleurs -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/28/2007 10:03:23 AM)

I find that breathing through the pain, in a manner similar to what your friend reccomended to be the best way to channel pain.  Also when I try to anticipate or figure out whats coming next or how hard the blows will be then I just tighten and tense up.

C~



RCdc -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/28/2007 10:06:37 AM)

Yup -  breathing exercises are good - just like having a baby.[;)]
Seriously!
 
Peace
the.dark.



mistoferin -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/28/2007 10:35:07 AM)

I use all kinds of different techniques, including breathing. It really depends on the scene and where we're at in it. Breathing works for me in the beginnings and then again towards the end, although that breathing is a bit different, deeper and not as concious. I like to do scenes where I run through the entire gamut, although they are more time consuming and exhausting and can only be done with certain Dominants. But I like to go past the point where the breathing works. I use anger. I get mad at the pain. I get mad at the Dominant. I fight, yell and swear like a truck driver. Then I will settle in for lack of a better way of putting it. Resolve myself to taking it. I do a lot of self talk in that phase. When that no longer works I may cry...or even beg. That usually doesn't last long and I will begin to laugh. Then I return to anger....then again to resolve. Endurance becomes paramount. Soon after that I find myself breathing deeply, embracing the pain, the pain becomes something else, interesting, even pleasurable, exquisite. I pick the sensations apart and relish them slowly. Beyond that I am floating in a purple sea, watching the festivities from above and drooling all over myself.



mistoferin -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/28/2007 10:39:28 AM)

And I forgot the most important part. I feed off of the Dominant. I allow him to feed off of me. I suck in and transfer all of that energy back and forth between the two of us and allow it to sustain me.



heartfeltsub -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/28/2007 10:41:55 AM)

Wildfleur's comment about tensing is also very accurate, at least for me and those i have asked. The less tense the muscles are before they get hit, the less pain results from the stroke. To help myself relax and try not to tense up, i make myself open my hands, don't clench them as fists, because i find that helps me to mentally tell all those muscles to relax and not try to anticipate.

heartfelt



Aswad -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/28/2007 11:06:17 AM)

~fast reply~

While I'm neither a masochist, nor a sub, I've done some work on pain management, mostly because endorphins have no pain-killing effect on me, and because I'm a natural-born Wimp™. I have no problem admitting I'm a wimp. I curse and jump about on one leg if I stub my toe, and generally whine a lot about nothing. It takes a fair bit of pain before I stop acting wimpy. Kind of paradoxical; low level pain really bothers me, and I express it, while high level pain triggers an adrenalin-rush and the pain management techniques I've practiced.

The one about relaxing is a good place to start, and the same thing goes for proper breathing.
What I do, is to distance myself from the pain, stop recognizing it as coming from myself.
If necessary, I stop recognizing that part of the body as being part of the rest of me.
Very rarely (e.g. hypertensive crisis), that doesn't work, so I detach my mind.
Then I sort of "remote control" my body, with my mind floating apart.
Past that point, full dissociation and/or withdrawal works.
I haven't found anything that goes beyond that level.
Constant and localized pain is easiest to ignore.
Hope this can be useful to someone.



charismagirrl -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/28/2007 11:26:32 AM)

This is a great topic, atleast for me, because it is something that i am trying to learn. How to process the pain.

i like the idea of breathing through it in a regimented way, with purpose.

i had the most intense scene i've ever experienced this past weekend with my Daddy and i had such a hard time processing the pain. Finally, like what mistoferin said about resolve...well that's kind of what i did, i surrendered to the fact that i was unable to escape, change or stop it and i just accepted it. That was when i began to bawl from my soul. This worked initially but then when a harder hit would come then i would loose that resolve.

Now my Daddy suggested that i mediate on things. Thinking of my nerve endings all going toward my clit saying that if i can get this process down then when i am hit i can visualize the pain going through me and out through my clit....eventually resulting in an orgasm as a by product of the process.

Maybe the two things combined will help.



ChainedExistence -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/28/2007 12:40:00 PM)

I certainly try to concentrate on breathing and relaxing my body which works sometimes, but what I found most helpful is attaching a visual representation to the sounds I hear. I am particularly drawn in by rhythmic flogging or caning.. In my mind I am watching train trestle being constructed beam by beam, or seeing the criss-crossing patterns of skate blades on ice...anything with that kind of pattern is really helpful to me. Probably weird..but strangely affective.



GhitaAmati -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/28/2007 1:36:39 PM)

I concentrate on the rhythm, of the beating, or of music thats playing. And I concentrate on breathing. Alot of the pain management techniques I use, were things I learned during Lamaze classes while I was pregnant. Its very hard for me sometimes, because in order to concentrate on breathing through the pain, I have to force my body to relax and lie compleatly still...but alot of people I play with really enjoy watching someone squirm when they get hit. So if I dont move, I get in trouble, but the more I move, the more the pain intensifies because I cant relax and breathe. Sometimes it gets to a point where I dont feel the sting of the pain quite as much, and it starts to feel really good and calming...but then an even harder hit comes and snaps me out of it



imthatacheyouhav -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/28/2007 1:58:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

When i first started playing i was an incredible wimp and now some see me as a fairly heavy player (realizing that that is a relative term) but i would concur that as a new player it is hard to know how much pain you will eventually be able to handle. That being said, i also am one who stays present to the pain, 99.9999% of the time, (have experienced sub space once during play). i use a couple of techniques to try to deal with the pain, some of it is the breathing, visualizing blowing out the pain with each breath. However when the pain level gets to be too great for this to continue working, what does work for me, is touching someone, holding someone's hand, it helps me to calm down enough to push the pain out (hopefully that makes some sort of sense) and then i can start again.

heartfelt

This is true for me it seems as well...i have noticed when i am kneeling and Master is at my head and i am holding His ankles i can tolerate more



BOUNTYHUNTER -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/28/2007 2:01:32 PM)

I don't believe one can build a tolerance for pain.ITS there just needing to pushed to come forward..WE recently introduced a girl to some pain play and she loves it and craves to visit every weekend. HOW to Handle pain is a question that has different answers,each will often give a different one,Many say they just let it fall over them like a wave in the ocean,let it engulf them,many use the breathing methods..I have to handle pain myself from a hip injury,meds and meditation does it for me...just my 2 cents thanks for the read...bounty



complaisant2u -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/29/2007 7:20:23 AM)

Don't know if this helps, but I learned a breathing exercise from a swim coach years ago.  Always had a lot of nervousness before the races from just the desire to win/not lose to the anticipation of the pain from oxygen depravation and extended exertion (I did the long distance races)..  The breathing exercise was smple.  The coach started us with a dark room and ambient sounds, but after doing it for a while, that's not needed. The idea is to control breathing, breath as deep as possible all the way in... and when you do it, remember that your stomach goes out with a deep breath... then when all the way full of air, pause a half second and then slowly exhale.  It's the focusing on the breathing and keep it stead and constant like that which is important.  Then you can close your eyes, focus on relaxing parts of your body.  Start the relaxing with your extemities, your toes.  It maybe hard to realize when you actually have your toes relaxed, but just send the commands from your brain for a few moments... relax...relax.. relax toes.. while keeping your breathing nice and deep.  Then work up to your feet, your calves, your thighs, you're buttocks... then start on your fingers, your forearms, your bicepts.. then go to the core, your shoulders, your back, your chest.  When you reach this point and you feel relaxed, keep focusing on your breath and staying relaxed.  If not start again with your toes and relax back to your core.  If you can relaxed and focused on your breathing, its't the start of meditation.  Personally I lack the patience to actually meditate.   I can do this exercise anywhere I feel some stress... standing in long lines, rush hour traffic, half day meetings, boring trainings, shopping at Walmart.  I also think it'd be hard to maintain this "state" if receiving pain in a manner that wasn't consistent.  If you're getting smacked when you least expect it, then naturally you'll want to jump and that'll disturb your relaxed state.




LadyHeart -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/29/2007 7:28:59 AM)

One of the things you need to discover about yourself is how different parts of your body react to pain. Most subs seem to like it on their backsides, but for me, that's "bad" pain - I love having my back flogged and can tolerate much more there than on my bottom. With "bad" pain I tune it out. With "good" pain I get right into it and ride it. It's something you develop with experience as you learn your own body better. Sometimes I throw my mind right out of my body. I do this with fire play. Other times, I focus on every blow and try to be really present in the moment - that's when my back is being flogged. And that's what takes me into an endorphine high. What works for one person won't work for someone else, all you can do is experiment and learn.
:))
LH



Evlgryn -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/29/2007 10:41:20 PM)

Well there is a real psychological component to pain. Panic makes it worse and often unbearable. Panic, true numbing fear is not exciting , not sexy. So I find as a dom, going slow warming up, going through the processes before hand, and building up trust that submissive is not facing harm, is a real factor in the perception of pain. 



TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/30/2007 1:32:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Yup -  breathing exercises are good - just like having a baby.[;)]
Seriously!
 
Peace
the.dark.
Shoot! took the words right out of my mouth..thief!..~wink~...Tempting



MagiksSlave -> RE: Pain, Breathing Exercises, and Other Techniques (6/30/2007 1:44:20 PM)

Breathing meditation... I am not a pain slut though I do thrive on painfull stimulouse even though I have a low threshold for such pain (some tell me my pain threshold is really hi but that is just because Im good at exepting pain way past where I want it, it is more of a game to me to see how far I can push) I suffer from migrains and I learned a long time ago medatation breathing really helps and I use it when the pain of a scene gets intense.. basicaly it is long deep full breaths and you count them consentrating on the counting and breathing takes your mind off of things, that and often time when we are in pain we forget to breath or we take in very shallow breaths and this just adds to the pain/discumfert focusing on counting the breaths and makeing sure they are deep ones insures we dont do that.

Magik's slave



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