Just being a poster an invite? (Full Version)

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MisPandora -> Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 12:12:55 PM)

I haven't been posting on these boards in forevers.  It seems these days, I float in from one of the scrollers on the other side on a thread that looks interesting.

It seems that for the few times that I now come here and post, specifically THIS board, I am assaulted in my email on the other side by folks who have to get the final word in, or feel the need to snipe, comment or whathaveyou about the thread in question. 

I'm puzzled by this behavior.  I post IN THREAD so that others may see what I have to say.  I don't want people clogging up my mail on the other side with nonsense from the boards, much that is interpersonal drama that I'm not involved with.  Is my posting really an open invite to others to dump their baggage in my inbox?

Has anyone else noticed a steep increase in the amount of other-side fodder (non-productive jibber jabber) that comes from your posts on the board? 



LordVelvet -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 12:38:53 PM)

Mis Pandora,
It is nice to see you around again. As far as your question, I have seen a topic or response to a topic that "hit home". I have emailed that person to get some specific information that I didnt feel was meant for the board. I see your point but sometimes I think it may be warrented. Just a different idea.
LordVelvet



pixelslave -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 1:16:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora
I haven't been posting on these boards in forevers. 


IMO, your posts have been greatly missed Ma'am!  They've often been very enlightening to me and are usually filled with a great deal of useful information that is from what I consider to be a person who is a knowlegeable and reliable source of information. [&:]


quote:


It seems that for the few times that I now come here and post, specifically THIS board, I am assaulted in my email on the other side by folks who have to get the final word in, or feel the need to snipe, comment or whathaveyou about the thread in question. 

I'm puzzled by this behavior.  I post IN THREAD so that others may see what I have to say.  I don't want people clogging up my mail on the other side with nonsense from the boards, much that is interpersonal drama that I'm not involved with.  Is my posting really an open invite to others to dump their baggage in my inbox?


I'm sorry you've had to experience this behavior.  I think it's unfortunate that disputes can't be either settled or just left here on the boards. [image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m23.gif[/image]
 
 - pixel




MissOchistic -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 1:25:27 PM)

I hate to say it, but....this IS ask a Mistress, and this could be a...**gulp**...female thing.

I get way more "final say" impetulent crap from women then I do from men.

Men generally stick to ridiculous come-ons and cock pictures.



Lashra -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 1:48:02 PM)

I've gotten support from other posters on this board as well as compliments and information. So far I haven't recieved anything that I would consider uncomplimentary and if I did I would tell the sender to fuck off and slap them upside the head with the block button.

Yep I have noticed that there's a Mistress or two who feels they just gotta have that last word in. I ignore them too and go about my business. I say what I have to say and then I'm done.

~Lashra



MisPandora -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 1:53:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LordVelvet

Mis Pandora,
It is nice to see you around again. As far as your question, I have seen a topic or response to a topic that "hit home". I have emailed that person to get some specific information that I didnt feel was meant for the board. I see your point but sometimes I think it may be warrented. Just a different idea.
LordVelvet

Hi there!  I can understand sending something to someone intended as complimentary or supportive, or heck, even hitting on someone as a result of their great posts.  But to be so passive-aggressive as to back-channel the topic into someone's email, that's not so cool :-)



MisPandora -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 1:57:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

I've gotten support from other posters on this board as well as compliments and information. So far I haven't recieved anything that I would consider uncomplimentary and if I did I would tell the sender to fuck off and slap them upside the head with the block button.

Yep I have noticed that there's a Mistress or two who feels they just gotta have that last word in. I ignore them too and go about my business. I say what I have to say and then I'm done.

~Lashra



Uh huh, there are a few women blocked from emailing me because they couldn't *not* get the final word in.  If I didn't respond to them in the forums, they'd dump in my email.  That's easy enough to fix.

I guess I was just taken aback at the last three times I did drive-by postings (and I do follow up and look at the thread that I participated in) and each time, there was something virulent left in my inbox as a present for my participation!



Suleiman -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 1:58:46 PM)

I can't say that it's really been an issue for me, but I have gone for great swaths of time without being very involved with these boards, and when I come back, I may as well be a newcomer. I think, for the most part, folks don't take their issue with me private because they're afraid of the two hundred page dissertation I might send back in response. Circumlocution is it's own reward, in my book.

I suppose, in a way, it should be viewed as a compliment. Some folks don't want to interact with the boards, but they still want your feedback. Even passive-agressive backwash is still qualifiable as loking for feedback and validation. That being said, I can see how such a response would become tedius, if it occurs regularly.



MisPandora -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 2:04:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Suleiman

I can't say that it's really been an issue for me, but I have gone for great swaths of time without being very involved with these boards, and when I come back, I may as well be a newcomer. I think, for the most part, folks don't take their issue with me private because they're afraid of the two hundred page dissertation I might send back in response. Circumlocution is it's own reward, in my book.

I suppose, in a way, it should be viewed as a compliment. Some folks don't want to interact with the boards, but they still want your feedback. Even passive-agressive backwash is still qualifiable as loking for feedback and validation. That being said, I can see how such a response would become tedius, if it occurs regularly.

Interesting take.  Thanks for the feedback!



MstrssPassion -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 2:46:14 PM)

I wouldn't say I have received a deluge of the mail as you described but I have received my fair share I suppose.

The latest was a rather peculiar & I wonder if maybe you have experienced the same sort of contacts from the same individuals. It would not surprise me.

At any rate... I tend to blow it off. If I find a topic that interests me, I make my contribution & move on. If it gets someones panties in a twist... well that is actually their issue, not mine.



slaveboyforyou -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 5:04:32 PM)

I haven't received any negative emails from people on the boards, but I don't post that much in the BDSM related forums.  I do read a lot of the posts, and I will chime in from time to time.  But frankly, I got a little bored with the same old arguments being rehashed over and over again.  Most of us claim to be open minded, and I think most of us are.  But there are those few that want to declare themselves the all knowing authority on everything that is kink.  I don't see the point in arguing with them, so I don't.  If it makes them feel better to think they won a pointless argument, than I let them think that.   



Politesub53 -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 5:06:03 PM)

If i have had a falling out with someone i tend to take it private. Not so i can have the last word, more just to keep the heat out of it. Arguments on the board tend to take off on their own. It`s this that i am trying to stop if i email someone.
i also send the nice posts or nice profile type of messages but worry that may be viewed as trying to hit on someone.
[;)]



Suleiman -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 5:11:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveboyforyou

I haven't received any negative emails from people on the boards, but I don't post that much in the BDSM related forums.  I do read a lot of the posts, and I will chime in from time to time.  But frankly, I got a little bored with the same old arguments being rehashed over and over again.  Most of us claim to be open minded, and I think most of us are.  But there are those few that want to declare themselves the all knowing authority on everything that is kink.  I don't see the point in arguing with them, so I don't.  If it makes them feel better to think they won a pointless argument, than I let them think that.   



Hey! I got my certified online DomlyDomMisterMasterSir Diploma with a BS in Dominant Arts just last week! How dare you imply that folks have just been humoring me!



slaveboyforyou -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 5:59:00 PM)

quote:

Hey! I got my certified online DomlyDomMisterMasterSir Diploma with a BS in Dominant Arts just last week! How dare you imply that folks have just been humoring me!


I think I have heard of that degree program.  That's the same school that offers degrees in Pimpology.  I would go for it myself, but those damn student loans are a bitch to pay back. 



LadyHeart -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 6:00:09 PM)

Maybe you just posted to a thread that people were getting very wound up about? I've only ever received one cranky email, and that was from someone who was a bit whacko. Since I have an opinion on just about everything (LOL) I would think I'd be a target. Maybe it's just bad luck?
:))
LH



LadyPact -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 6:42:06 PM)

Guilty!  Not of the last word syndrome, but often I do know that I have questions that might be of a personal nature, and better asked privately.  Same in reverse.  If someone has asked a question that I would prefer to keep the answer confidential, I'll send it in a private email.
 
Considering the train wrecks that some perfectly good threads can become, sometimes, I wonder why people don't take their dispute off the boards, hash it out, and have it over with.  I'd rather read the thought provoking topics, than the bickering.



Najakcharmer -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 7:49:53 PM)

The vast majority of cmails I've ever gotten about thread posts have been very positive ones, kudos and friendly conversational overtures.  I have gotten a few lame one-line trolls, but most of them come from my profile rather than my posts. 

In answer to the question as to whether some people believe that posting in the forums is an invitation to cmail you with a trollish proposition, I suspect they think the same thing about breathing, having a pulse and a vagina, and a body temperature higher than the surrounding air.  And if pressed they'd probably abandon at least three out of those four criteria.



mstrjx -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 8:09:49 PM)

I used to get email relatively frequently from people saying they appreciated what I had to say on the boards.  I always took it for what it seemed to be - thanks for posting, we like to read what you have to say.

A few months back I did actually receive an 'email of interest' and it turned out to be far more than I bargained for.  So much so that life-changing events are in the works and the whole bit.

Oddly enough, since then I haven't received nearly the amount of 'good post' emails as I used to.  Were the prior emails just veiled 'interest' letters and I didn't notice?  No matter.

Jeff



earthycouple -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 8:38:48 PM)

I've only had that happen twice for nit picky "I'm right and you are wrong" garbage.  I do often get nice emails on the other side thanking me for my input or asking further questions.  I'm always happy to answer or say "you are welcome".  Even the snippy emails don't bother me much because much like wanking fodder for those who wank off to whatever jerks em, the "stupid" emails are laughing fodder for me.  I find them entertaining and laughable.



mythi -> RE: Just being a poster an invite? (6/28/2007 8:43:41 PM)

Oddly enough, I havent gotten any negative email from my posts.  Usually by now...  lol

But then again, after the initial troll swarm of course, I've never gotten much c-mail at all.  And now that I'm off the market it's practically unheard of, maybe 1 trolling form letter every 2-3 weeks and a 'real' mail only a couple times in the last few months. *shrug*



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