Curtesy a sign of weekness?

Curtesy a sign of weekness? (Full Version)

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SirDraven -> Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 12:18:18 PM)
I am currently on vacation and was able to have lunch with some people where I am at that are in the lifestyle. Kinda like a munch if you will.... Upon arrival I opened the door to private dinning room we were using and got "good boy" as a response. When I asked about the comment I was told that the person in question thought I was a sub or bottom. Of course this was the topic of the lunch and I will post it here for you subs/slaves to comment. If a top/dom/master shows curtesy is he/she also showing weekness? For me I say no. I can step into an intersection and control traffic. I can and have stepped in between people fighting each other. I also am polite and respectful. I do not see it as a sign of weekness to be polite. I see it as a point of honor and stregnth.

MagiksSlave -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 12:26:46 PM)
I dont know Master always holds doors open for me. He is Master yes but he is a gentalmen and I am still a lady. I like that that doesnt change just because we have this dynamic. He treats me with great respect and that fosters respect and obediance from me!! Magik's slave

sublimelysensual -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 12:33:25 PM)
Courtesy and good manners, to me, are not a sign of weakness at all..I wouldn't choose to involve myself with someone lacking them. Anyone can be rude or obnoxious and demand what they want, because someone does so, does not automatically make them dominant, nor does being polite and courteous automatically make someone not dominant. If I'm meeting someone, say for dinner, for the first time..and He's rude to the waitress, doesn't say thank you, please, etc., that person is off my list. Now, that doesn't mean I can't appreciate rude at the appropriate moments grinz, but I could not deal with one like that all the time, nor would I want to. Just my two cents, as always.. -a

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 12:37:38 PM)
http://www.collarchat.com/m_856653/mpage_1/key_gentleman/tm.htm#857014 too nice http://www.collarchat.com/m_848523/mpage_2/key_gentleman/tm.htm#848969 Mr. Nice guy is not Mr. Nice Dom? http://www.collarchat.com/m_825792/mpage_1/key_gentleman/tm.htm#825829 Can a dom be a gentleman? http://www.collarchat.com/m_799563/mpage_1/key_gentleman/tm.htm#799760 what makes a 'real' dom? http://www.collarchat.com/m_775753/mpage_1/key_gentleman/tm.htm#775760 dominants who show emotions, weakness or vulnerability http://www.collarchat.com/m_771270/mpage_1/key_gentleman/tm.htm#771630 Does gentle master mean weak? http://www.collarchat.com/m_668725/mpage_1/key_gentleman/tm.htm#668733 Too polite? http://www.collarchat.com/m_505491/mpage_1/key_gentleman/tm.htm#505668 Seeking consensus: dominant as gentleman? http://www.collarchat.com/m_433779/mpage_1/key_gentleman/tm.htm#433966 Master...in slaves' eyes! http://www.collarchat.com/m_380311/mpage_2/key_gentleman%252Cdom/tm.htm#384513 dom vs gentleman http://www.collarchat.com/m_266268/mpage_1/key_gentleman%252Cdom/tm.htm#266288 the gentleman dom with feelings Is the term gentleman dom an oxymoron? Gentlemen vs nice guy

AquaticSub -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 12:48:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirDraven If a top/dom/master shows curtesy is he/she also showing weekness? No. It shows that either their parents managed to instill some basic manners in them or they decided to start practicing curtsey out of respect for those around them. I wouldn't offer/give/whatever my submission and accept the collar of a rude, lazy dominant.

obis -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 12:52:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SirDraven Upon arrival I opened the door to private dinning room we were using and got "good boy" as a response. When I asked about the comment I was told that the person in question thought I was a sub or bottom. LOL. I was raised to believe that I should open the door for a lady, and if I get there first should hold it open for whomever else is in the party. Now if you actually showed a curtsey, then I could understand their confusion :)

goodpet -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 12:52:22 PM)
I have little respect for a so called "dom" who knows nothing about, or at least shows no common courtesy. Being courtesness is not a sigh of weakness but a sign of confidence and self-assurance. When out on first dates, usually a meal, i always watch how he or she treats others and talks to the wait staff. If they are not of a higher standard of conduct, i don't want to spend time with them. Rude, demanding, disrespectful folks are just a plain turn off. Of the many many Doms that i do have high regard for and respect, they are all kind, well mannered, show curtesy and speak with a polite tone.The men will open doors and hold chairs, the women will give thank yous to those who do the curtesy for them. Being courteous has nothing to do with weakness. I think that comes from the movies and books, where slaves are (almost) non-people and so do not warrent common courtesys. Good for BDSM prono, maybe a scene or even a fantasy weekend, but it's just not reality.

goodpet -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 12:54:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: obis Now if you actually showed a curtsey, then I could understand their confusion :) LOL I was not going to say anything but was thinking, and visualizing the same thing.... thanks, ~ann

Masternslave07 -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 12:56:19 PM)
If the Dom holds the door open and he has to let go and it slams shut on you, that could be a sign of weakness.[;)]

ChainedExistence -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 12:57:15 PM)
Someone can on the giving or receving side of pain, but they don't have to be A PAIN.

goodpet -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 1:02:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Masternslave07 If the Dom holds the door open and he has to let go and it slams shut on you, that could be a sign of weakness.[;)] very good point.. LOL

beargonewild -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 1:14:18 PM)
If a top/dom/master shows curtesy is he/she also showing weekness? No, they are not showing weakness, they are showing plain and simople common curtesy. It would be weakness if they ignore common curtesy and giving in to rudeness in my eyes. Curtesy extend across all genders, irregardless if one is Master/Dom/Top/bottom/slave, etc. Politeness will ganer more respect from peers and possible subs and rudeness will only attract scorn and disrespect.

MissOchistic -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 1:41:02 PM)
I say not at all. Although, I can understand how people meeting in a way pertaining to the lifestyle might think the one doing small services to be the submissive one. I don't know if you cleared it up with them, but it probably wasn't because they thought you were weak, merely submissive. I also wonder why you translate them thinking you submissive to them thinking you to be weak. I, too, have stepped into a fight, as have I been the one throwing the punches. And to think, not only am I a submissive, but I have boobs, too!

Littlepita -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 1:53:59 PM)
I'm not allowed to open doors or carry packages when he is around. When in school I'm not allowed to carry down or bring up my school bag. He is very polite, soft spoken, and completely in control. I like him that way! [:)]

Lashra -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 1:55:07 PM)
Courtesy and good manners never go out of style as far as I am concerned. I always use them even when I am doing a scene. I do not believe in any way that they make a person weak, instead in my eyes it makes them stronger. I tend to believe that people who view good manners as a weakness are people of somewhat limited intelligence. ~Lashra

salilus -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 4:04:39 PM)
I knew a slave once who was not allowed to let herself out of the car. The door had to be opened for her. Was her owner weak? No. I think some people might have skewed expectations of what equates to dominance.

kyraofMists -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 4:12:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MissOchistic I also wonder why you translate them thinking you submissive to them thinking you to be weak. I was wondering the same thing... To the OP... Demonstrating courtesy in and of itself is not a sign of either strength or weakness. The motivation behind the behavior will say more about the person's strenghts or weaknesses. Knight's Kyra

SDFemDom4cuck -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 5:00:52 PM)
I'm not a sub/slave but I'll still comment. I don't think being Dominant means you have a right to be rude or discourteous. It doesn't in any way show weakness. There's the saying..." Never mistake My kindness for weakness" It would truly be an unfortunate mistake. Being polite, well mannered and showing common courtesy is simply how I was raised. I've been told many more times than I can count that My being overly polite, to the point of formality, and lowering my voice to a whisper is far more chilling and fear inducing than being a screaming harridan. My quietly saying 'Perhaps you might want to reconsider that" results in a much more panic stricken look than "On your knees bitch". My being polite doesn't mean the expectation of compliance is changed or lessened in any way. Anyone that's ever thought differently has learned the unfortunate and painful lesson that is the consequence.

Politesub53 -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 5:13:50 PM)
There`s nothing wrong in being polite, then again i would say that wouldn`t i ? [8D]

KnightofMists -> RE: Curtesy a sign of weekness? (6/28/2007 5:24:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists To the OP... Demonstrating courtesy in and of itself is not a sign of either strength or weakness. The motivation behind the behavior will say more about the person's strenghts or weaknesses. Knight's Kyra mmmmmm seems my "Training" lol is very effective... she speaks my thoughts... but to add some color ... I add When the big bad Wolf asked little Red Riding hood to come in... Was he not polite? This statement is an example why I consider motivations to one's behavior to be as important if not more important than the behavior itself when measuring the character of a person. I appreciate that often a person that is polite is often reflecting some admirable character.. However, Often doesn't equate to Always. Behavior... Somtimes Honey... Sometimes Vinegar.. .. but when it comes to Character... we need to look deeper..... unfortunately.. not many do.

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