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what do you do... - 6/29/2007 5:59:20 AM

pussinbootz

Posts: 40
Joined: 6/27/2007
Status: offline

when your Dom wants you to take the lead?

Just been playing around with texts with MM.. we often do on a friday as I'm going to be seeing him later.

Anyway.. this time he said he wanted me to serve him without any instructions.... I HAVE NO IDEA!!!

We've only been together about 12 weeks and at the moment it is a LDR, him living in London and me in N'ton (about 75 miles).. We're both quite new to bdsm but he's really growing into his role as Dom... and I'm loving being sub to him... but it has mostly been him topping me if that makes sense... I haven't doen much for him other than give head and give massages.. so I'm at a lost as to what to do for him.

I know at this stage it's hypothetical but I think we use these texts to test out scenes to see how we react to them.. it's actually a lot more fun than it sounds.... but this one has got me thrown....

What if he asks me to do this in RL? What cna I do to him... I only know how to hurt and I know he doesn't like that......

heeeeelp

Puss

_____________________________

In life I am his equal... in the bedroom, his collared sub.

Post #: 1

RE: what do you do... - 6/29/2007 6:24:54 AM

KMsAngel

Posts: 17415
Joined: 4/13/2007
Status: offline

go check out the cruise ship. better yet, invite him on it and come down from the lurker status and play! though, ahem, its a bit quiet there at the moment...

(its at polls and random stupidity, cruise ship 2)

(in reply to pussinbootz)

Post #: 2

RE: what do you do... - 6/29/2007 6:28:52 AM

imthatacheyouhav

Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

are you saying he wants you to serve him via txt messages?...if thats the case send him some sexy or racey txt messages in your most "submissive" tone...that ought to get the ball rolling....

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*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

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Post #: 3

RE: what do you do... - 6/29/2007 6:33:05 AM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

if i was in this situation, i would ask him to explain how i should serve him without instructions and take the discussion from there. since you're both fairly new in the BDSM life, he should convey more clearly what and how things are to be done.

and another thing, stop worrying about the "what if he asks for RL" ...take things one step at a time - don't rush into something both of you aren't ready for. i'm in a ldr with Daddy and we began our D/s dynamic as friends ...building a strong friendship before advancing to where we are now.

hope this helps you

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

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Post #: 4

RE: what do you do... - 6/29/2007 6:55:04 AM

pussinbootz

Posts: 40
Joined: 6/27/2007
Status: offline

I worked something out for the texts.. I meant in RL... we see each other every weekend and play regularly so it's not that we're rushing ahead... just I never was any good at taking the lead with sex when it came down to doing stuff to the guy.. it seems I've always been submissive, just never had the right guy to submit to... so I need ideas of what to do for him.

I embraced my submissive side very quickly when I met him, and found the freedom that comes with it.. he was adamant he was only a top and was only doing it because he knew I got off on being submissive.. but now he's finding his inner Dom and starting to enjoy it. He is almost a service top.... learning to be a Dom.

I digress.... being rubbish at knowing what to do for him I could do with some inspiration.

_____________________________

In life I am his equal... in the bedroom, his collared sub.

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)

Post #: 5

RE: what do you do... - 6/29/2007 6:58:41 AM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pussinbootz
Anyway.. this time he said he wanted me to serve him without any instructions.... I HAVE NO IDEA!!!

I certainly have no idea what would please him as only he (and you, to a limited degree) know that. But I can speak from my own personal experience as one who has served many times with no instructions. In an instance where Master doesn't take the lead and He expects me to please Him, He never gives any kind of instruction. He is able to say "please me girl" or "make your Master feel good" and I know what to do. I do the things I know He loves and then throw in some other things that I think He will love. If He doesn't, all He has to do is say "stop it," and it's over

.

Now, seeing as how you haven't had much experience together, this may be a bit harder but you obviously know some things he enjoys (head, massages, etc.) If he tells you to "serve" him "without any instructions," then he is obviously trusting you to decide what's going to be pleasing. I'm assuming that as he is giving you the freedom to do so, there aren't going to be any punishments or negative repurcussions if you don't do exactly as he would have you to. You cannot read his mind and you haven't been together all that long anyway. I would suggest you try what has worked for me. Do the things you know he enjoys and then experiment with things that, given your limited knowledge of him, you think he'll enjoy. If not, He can say so, can't he?

quote:

What cna I do to him... I only know how to hurt and I know he doesn't like that......

Give yourself some credit here. You know how to do more than "hurt." I'm guessing you've had intimate relationships before him where sexual activity was involved without hurting. Think back and remember some of the pleasurable things involved there. Maybe he would enjoy those too. If he doesn't, consider it trial and error and you'll know not to repeat what he didn't like. Don't be afraid to experiment. You both may be pleasantly surprised at what you come up with

..........slave luci

****edited for spelling****

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 6/29/2007 7:01:01 AM >

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RE: what do you do... - 6/29/2007 6:58:48 AM

imthatacheyouhav

Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

I don't mean to sound trite but he IS a man...and well...you know ....do stuff men like...and because of the dynamic of your relationship...do stuff that a Dominate man would like....

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

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Post #: 7

RE: what do you do... - 6/29/2007 7:13:23 AM

pussinbootz

Posts: 40
Joined: 6/27/2007
Status: offline

It's ok.. I know it sounds like a dumb question from a 33 year old.... only had very bad sex up to about a year ago.... I never learnt all this stuff....

Yeah, I can give head and suck his balls and stuff... but is there anything else he might like? He says hs nipples don't work.. I know he likes his ears nibbled but that is very much an on/off thing and am likely to not get very far with that before I get jumped... one of the reasons he likes to tie my hands down.. I can so change the situation if I can get to his ears LOL!!!

He is my first proper Dom.. so I have no idea what "Dominant Men" like?.. almost all the guys who I was with for any time were domineering but in a bad way... I didn't have a lot of choice in what was happening in bed... left me very messed up. MM has and is helping me deal with all this, but I need to learn stuff like this from somewhere.

_____________________________

In life I am his equal... in the bedroom, his collared sub.

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)

Post #: 8

RE: what do you do... - 6/29/2007 7:21:40 AM

pussinbootz

Posts: 40
Joined: 6/27/2007
Status: offline

Thanks slaveluci for your advice

quote:

Give yourself some credit here. You know how to do more than "hurt." I'm guessing you've had intimate relationships before him where sexual activity was involved without hurting. Think back and remember some of the pleasurable things involved there.

see my reply above.... never had a lot of experience in pleasing a guy.. I spent a lot of time, with unimaginative guys, just hoping it was over fairly quickly coz it hurt... looong story

thanks again

Puss

_____________________________

In life I am his equal... in the bedroom, his collared sub.

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 9

RE: what do you do... - 6/29/2007 7:25:48 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Come in with ingredients for a truly excellent meal. Set him up with a glass of wine and a plate of canapes with soft music going. Give him a pedicure, soak feet, file nails, pumice callouses, massage feet. Suck and nibble toes. Then do a strip tease for him. Stroke yourself for him to watch, beg him to give you an orgasm or start humping his leg. Normal type stuff.

Oh and dessert is for afterwards.

(in reply to pussinbootz)

Post #: 10

RE: what do you do... - 6/29/2007 7:39:09 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

The fact is that he hasn't given you any directions or instructions- which means you're free to do what you want and he can't really get upset with you for not "doing what he wants" because he hasn't communicated anything.

Now, generally, a couple will find some things to do that they find enjoyable together. For my partner and I, we've already looked through the Chronicle to see what's going on this weekend, we know we're doing a major apartment cleaning, a Costco run for some staples, a "green fair" on Saturday, and at least one movie and perhaps a turn around Ikea. There weren't many interesting concert or club acts this weekend so we won't be doing that. And, likely some fun play somewhere in all that.

There you go.

What do YOU guys like doing together and need to get done during the weekend? Don't make service something special- make it something natural and PART of the fun.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Post #: 11

RE: what do you do... - 6/29/2007 7:57:30 AM

onlineheartbeats

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/13/2007
Status: offline

I agree 100% with Celeste43:-) If anything on her venue doesn't feel quite right to you, do what YOU do best, how can that possibly NOT please him? Just be yourself..I'm sure that will be a hit...good luck!

(in reply to pussinbootz)

Post #: 12

RE: what do you do... - 6/29/2007 8:01:40 AM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

Wow this would be a difficult task for me.
How about tying him up and just playing with his body? Sensation play with feathers and other things. Stuff you can slowly lick off his body.
Possibly blindfold him and just tease the bejeezus out of him?
Whipped cream, choccy sauce. Flavored lubricants etc.

_____________________________

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~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

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Post #: 13

RE: what do you do... - 6/29/2007 8:11:30 AM

Rastimmipitwax

Posts: 69
Joined: 6/25/2007
Status: offline

Is that serving?

I guess for some people it might be.

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 14

RE: what do you do... - 6/29/2007 8:13:06 AM

SubinMaine

Posts: 1888
Joined: 1/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pussinbootz

He is my first proper Dom.. so I have no idea what "Dominant Men" like?..

my thought is that "Dominant" men tend to like the same things "Vanilla" men like but with a side order of the BDSM. *smile*

Ok, onward...He said that He wants you to "Serve Him"...that's a pretty broad statment and you can really have a lot of fun with this...what i would do (this is what i would personally do now...i don't know your Sir, but you do and you have the ability to tailor it to fit your/His needs) is make it a multitude of "services"...when He arrives, have one of His favorite meals prepared. Meet Him at the door wearing nothing but your collar (if you have one)...share the meal sitting as close as possible to him, have a shower together, you cleaning Him and paying very close attention to His cock...a little "tease" to represent things to come isn't necessarily a bad thing in a sub *smile*....dry him off with a towel and take Him to wherever you intend on becoming intimate, service Him by doing things you know he likes...giving Him head and so on...keep the pace slow, steady and sensual...ask Him in between licks and nibbles if there is anything new He would like to try...possibilites are endless *smile* good luck by the way...i'm sure you'll have no problem pleasing Him *nod*

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That which yields is not always weak...

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Post #: 15

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