|
SadistDave -> RE: Where do I go from here??? (8/4/2005 2:38:31 PM)
|
Communication is so much more than talking a subject into the ground. Sometimes a gesture or action will go farther than words. Acually though, nonuts4thshoney was kind enough to provide the answer to her own question.
quote:
She likes to do this when she is in the right mood. And when she is, it turns her on extemely.
Sounds to me like you need to simply find out what puts her in the mood and act on it. Find the trigger for her desires. Learn to understand when there might be conflict between her needs and your needs, then act accordingly. She may be turned on by any number of little things that will help you trigger her desires, but other outside influences like fatigue or stress may supercede her desire to play sometimes. Expecting her to be your performing monkey without regard to her needs is a little unreasonable.
There is a difference between sounding needy and expressing your needs. "I need" or I want" are pretty selfish ways to look at a relationship. They imply that there is little concern over the needs and desires of a partner. Most people pick up on that eventually and either begin to resent their partner as being self-centered, or begin to doubt their own ability to please their partner.
She may not be playing with you right now because she is trying to understand her own desires, or come up with new ways to expand on her new interests. However, she may also be wondering about the same concerns you have expressed in your post. "I don't want her to think I'm a freak for wanting to beat her." "Will she think I'm needy if I tell her I want this more?"
You've known this person for 7 months. Don't be afraid to talk with her about it. You should know her well enough by now to have a good idea of how to approach this. Be patient and find a good time to raise the subject. If she seems uncomfortable, back off and let her think about the fact that you want to discuss it. If she doesn't bring it back up in a few days, try leaving the flogger by the bed, or let her "find" a well planted bit of porn somewhere on your computer, under the bed, or wherever. Hint in non-verbal ways that it is something you want to explore more, but not so much that she feels overwhelmed.
I have a lot of suggestions for you, but I'm going to be late for work if I don't stop here. I hope this helps.
-SD-
|
|
|
|
