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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/29/2007 2:20:07 PM

DominantJim

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So in your opinion his comfort and stress relief comes first

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/29/2007 2:25:33 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantJim

So in your opinion his comfort and stress relief comes first

Well... yeah.

Valyraen just doesn't find blowjobs to be destressing. He finds computer games to be destressing and me blowing him under the desk would lower his head shot count.

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/29/2007 2:31:33 PM

DominantJim

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But you do blow him under the desk nonetheless from time to time

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/29/2007 2:42:31 PM

Valyraen

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No, she doesn't. Kitten blows me when and where I decide that I feel like having a blowjob. The idea of scheduling blowjobs sounds every bit as monotonous to me as the idea of putting a sex life on a schedule - I'd much rather have some hot, spontaneous sex than feel like I'm being forced to perform by a system that I set into place.

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/29/2007 2:47:27 PM

DominantJim

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That seems to be the general consenus towards everything here. It makes more sense that way too, to have the woman spontaneously blow you whenever you feel you need it.

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/29/2007 2:50:12 PM

DiurnalVampire

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My boys and I have no such schedule. Well, Angel and I have no sex, so I guess that was an easy one to worry about.
AS for Kitten and I, he is free to request or not request sex or oral as he sees fit. I demand it when I want it, but I cant expect to be in the mood for anything sexual on a schedule. Maybe its a girl thing, but anything that is done just for the sake of doing it is going to lose its lustre REAL fast. Blowjobs, sex, anything... its all done when your in the mood and want to enjoy it. Doing it becasue its time to, wether or not you really want it, makes it a chore, not an enjoyable activity.
Then, that brings up whether you, as the Master, can decide that even though it is on the schedule you might not be in the mood. Makes sense you are in charge, you can make that decision. However, the very first time you do, your schedule is rendered useless, becasue if its a schedule that depends on your whi, it might as well not exist.

DV

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/29/2007 2:50:48 PM

MasterFireMaam

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Funny, I don't seem to have a blow job schedule. Hmmm...maybe 'cause I'm the Master and I don't wanna? Maybe you're asking the Fem subs and not just the women. *smile* Just sayin'.

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/29/2007 4:53:30 PM

sambamanslilgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantJim

Do any of you have a blowjob schedule? For example wake up your master with an alarm BJ...breakfast Bj, Lunch bj, etc. I specify this to women as I'm a straight Dom, so I'm trying to deduce whether or not to make a schedule for mine.

hard to keep while the UMs are home ...plus it would be old and mundane really fast - variety is the spice of life

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/29/2007 9:25:43 PM

WyckedMystress

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If scheduling BJ's is something You seek to include in your life - then do it. Whatever You do should be what You want - not what Others do.

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/29/2007 9:46:39 PM

charismagirrl

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i just give my Master/Daddy a blow job whenever he pushes my head down there and well.... i know what to do from there.

i don't ever just do it though, for me it would be too assertive to just do it.

Also, just because I LOVE to give my Daddy a bj doesn't mean that THAT is my stress relief time.

my stress relief is snuggling with my Daddy, serving him for sure, being hog tied (i found thisout this morning) and a plethora of other things.

You will find what works for you, but unless you are a really regimented guy or have a tense schedule in general then a schedule doesn't sound like a good idea to me.... There's something to be said for grabbing her hair and pushing he down and taking it exactly when YOU want it.

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/29/2007 9:53:57 PM

Evanesce

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Schedule? I don't even DO blowjobs, let alone schedule them! And since I know someone's going to ask - I don't do them because I don't have to. Neither the Kaptin nor I are especially fond of oral sex.

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/29/2007 10:00:22 PM

LadyHeart

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The underlying issue here is evolving your style as a Dominant. What kind of Dominant do you wish to be? What is your vision of your current and future self? Which words would that person say? "Do it because I said so -I am your Dominant." "It would greatly please me if you did this..." "Suck it, bitch!" ... and so on. If you are to have credibility as a Dominant, then you need to do what best accords with that vision. It will happen partly through trial and error, partly through copying others whom you admire, but at the end of the day, if it's not "you" then it won't work, because both of you will sense that it is inauthentic. My advice? Figure out what that imaginary Dom in your head would do, and then do that.
:))
LH

< Message edited by LadyHeart -- 6/29/2007 10:02:53 PM >

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/29/2007 10:53:30 PM

Celeste43

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He goes back to sleep after one so he would never get anything done if he had one whenever he woke up.

And giving him one when he wants it isn't stress relief for me, it's something I do because I like to do things that make him happy.

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/30/2007 2:39:28 AM

mitda

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There are two men in our house, and Master has ordered each of us to "alarm clock" he & the other man every morning.
so in that sense, we have scheduled bjs, but we tend to have very nice pre-sunrise 4-ways as well. (did that rhyme?!)

-mitda

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/30/2007 4:37:54 AM

Littlepita

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Schedules aren't my thing. I do them if I have to, but if I was put on a BJ schedule I fear that would cause resentment. I don't think my Sir wants my resentful mouth servicing him.

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/30/2007 5:01:36 AM

bandit25

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Now I've heard everything (not really LA)...scheduled bjs!

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/30/2007 6:22:39 AM

zumala

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No, we don't schedule bj's. The 'suggestion' can be made by either of us, although whether or not he gets one depends on if he wants one. In other words, if it's my idea, he can tell me 'not now'. If it's his idea... I do it unless I'm having a bad day with my jaw. TMJ can be such a pain sometimes.

zuma

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/30/2007 8:38:45 AM

DominantJim

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Well Thank you everyone, especially Wycked and LH, you guys have been especially inspiring to me, I think it may be possible to get a better answer from you ladies. But I enjoy the input from everyone. I'll regroup and decide what I'm looking to be hehe.

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/30/2007 10:47:53 AM

MsKatHouston

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For me, I would not schedule sexual activity of any kind because there are way too many variables. If I am not in the mood to be awakened with some oral and my sub just a-started to do it, it would irritate me in a big way. If my sub is not feeling well that is something I would have to take into consideration.

I would not "schedule" them primarily because I do not want to be a slave to my own schedule. Plus I think it takes away some of the magic of action on demand. If I am in the mood, I get it. If not, I don't.

If I am going to schedule something it would be more practical like every 1st of the month, bills need to be paid. Once per week the ___ needs to be cleaned. But real life interferes way too often to schedule sexual activities and I am more into the spontaneous. Don't want to get into too much of a routine sexually. I think that would become boring. JMO.

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RE: This ones for the ladies - 6/30/2007 11:38:08 AM

MstrssPassion

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantJim

I'm still new in some areas, and to do with this, its not the fact that I feel I should do so because other doms do but I'm more asking is it the regular fashion to do so. I realize that there is no specific handbook to how a Dom/Sub relationship should work other than the obvious, but some subs might find it annoying to follow a schedule, therefore causing displeasure every time its done, which in turn would affect the blowjob itself. I'm really just curious when all is said and done. If you feel the need to question my motives thats fine.

You've answered your own question...

As others have already pointed out... it isn't about what others do or what may be considered common practice... it is very much what happens as a result of what ever action/activity you come up with. Some will respond favorable & soem will not... knowing what to do with that response (whether favorable or not) is the art.

As a dominant you will learn to incorporate the positive & the negative responses in ways that produce the results that you wish to obtain.

So, if your sub responds very well to a set schedule... utilize the scedule in a way that supports the reward aspect of the dynamic. If she doesn't respond well to a schedule such as this.. you can still utilize it but in a way that would reflect punishment. (Just be careful that when using punishment applications that you are actually correcting behavior & not over using authority.)

Now back to the underlined text... is this more about getting a BJ that you find pleasurable or is it about enforcing a schedule?

If you are more focused on getting a BJ that is pleasing you might want to focus on making sure the one giving it to you is pleased as well.

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