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Assignments - 6/29/2007 10:07:22 PM

Iwanttolearnhow

Posts: 6
Joined: 5/25/2007
Status: offline

Does anyone have advice regarding assignments to their subs? I told my sub to write me a series of essays regarding her fantasies.... I want, at least, two paragraphs written for two essays that will describe her sexual fantasies. I hope to integrate these fantasies into our sex life. That said, what other assignments can I give her (written or otherwise) that will help me to get to know her but at the same time reinforce the dynamic in our relationship? does anyone else give assignments... and if so, what are they?

Post #: 1

RE: Assignments - 6/29/2007 10:11:40 PM

WyckedMystress

Posts: 118
Joined: 6/24/2005
Status: offline

I have had a boy find FemDom pictures - so his task was find 5 pictures and tell Me what appeals about them.

WyckedMystress

(in reply to Iwanttolearnhow)

Post #: 2

RE: Assignments - 6/29/2007 11:07:54 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I use written assignments a lot. When there is time for them anyway. This helps me understand where he is at, teaches him to focus and to think about the things I wish to help him with and is something we can each go back to and read when needed. We are working on self talk right now... but have worked on sexual matters, lifestyle, etc. I will often use this method when he has done something wrong and I wish for him to fully understand something and why his actions have been hurtful to himself, our relationship or to me. I want him to think it through so I am not telling him... I want him to see it for himself.

You might want to do a search on this topic because there have been a lot of threads on it and you might see a lot that might help you.

(in reply to WyckedMystress)

Post #: 3

RE: Assignments - 6/29/2007 11:19:51 PM

imthatacheyouhav

Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

This would be a big time punishment for me...i detest writing!

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 4

RE: Assignments - 6/29/2007 11:24:56 PM

LadyHeart

Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

I gear the assignment to the submissive. I have a lot of information posted on my profile, so I often send them there to read something and then I ask comprehension questions about it, lol. I ask for written feedback after a scene if approriate. If the submissive isn't very academic in orientation, then I set tasks. My current submissive is tasked with only using his non dominant hand when he masturbates. There will be a test so I will find out if he has complied with my instructions, evil snicker.
:))
LH

_____________________________

"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)

Post #: 5

RE: Assignments - 6/30/2007 12:53:56 AM

robertolapiedra

Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline

Hello Iwanttolearnhow. I never ask my sub to tell me about her fantasies. I ask her about deference and obedience sometimes. RL.

(in reply to Iwanttolearnhow)

Post #: 6

RE: Assignments - 6/30/2007 1:30:23 AM

Dini

Posts: 44
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline

This is a delightful part of being Domme, I love giving my subs assignments in various forms, depending on the submissive. I like to stretch and test them, and if it is someone who has a gift, I will use that gift and incorporate it into the task… be it writing a essay, a poem, a limerick.. one of my boys was into photography… his tasks included building a portfolio of self images…

I love the idea of making the sub find pic’s of FemDoms… smiles … WyckedMystress with your permission I would love to use that idea on My current pet… I am still exploring with him and that is an amazing way of getting to see into his mind…

I also enjoy more physical tasks.. be it wearing something special to me… doing something in the way I would like to see it done… again depends on the pet, and the situation, since I find this to be the most incredible build up to a play…

(in reply to robertolapiedra)

Post #: 7

RE: Assignments - 6/30/2007 2:02:44 AM

wwwkevinww

Posts: 276
Joined: 7/15/2004
Status: offline

I like the idea of (private) journal entries of events that you have shared, like a session, a date, etc. The idea of the journal entry is to try to detail everything that happened so in 20 years, you'll be able to feel like you were there again. If the person just rights Yummy as the journal entry, you know they really aren't that invested in the relationship or hate writing and took the easy way out........

You shouldn't do the journal entries every single date or every single session, but for the special ones that have already have alot of thought put into it....

for those who hate writing, you could have them fill out the checklist that has been floating around the net, that lets you know more about them and what they have experienced thus far....

assignments to me sounds like stuff you want the submissive to do on her own, that doesn't require you there. This doesn't necessarily have to be the case, but if it is, you can make up whatever strikes your fancy.....There are many ideas floating around the net, you could have them pray to a picture of you, worshipping you from afar, for a minimum amount of time each day. Could have them masturbate a certain amount of time during the day (perhaps while worshipping your pic), use butt plugs, whatever.... If your going to set up assignments, I think its important to keep track of if they were done and get some feedback regarding them.....

(in reply to Dini)

Post #: 8

RE: Assignments - 6/30/2007 5:36:40 AM

Rover

Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iwanttolearnhow

Does anyone have advice regarding assignments to their subs? I told my sub to write me a series of essays regarding her fantasies.... I want, at least, two paragraphs written for two essays that will describe her sexual fantasies. I hope to integrate these fantasies into our sex life. That said, what other assignments can I give her (written or otherwise) that will help me to get to know her but at the same time reinforce the dynamic in our relationship? does anyone else give assignments... and if so, what are they?

I detest giving people answers to questions that they can, and should, provide for themselves. In this instance, I'd prefer to ask why you're giving assignments. Do you want her to achieve a level of knowledge in a particular subject that will make her more able to serve your needs? Is she deficient in some areas that cause her to be unhappy, or unsafe? Do you hand them out as punishment? Do you use them to learn more about her? Do you simply enjoy exercising your Dominance over her?

Personally, I think it's helpful for you to spend a few moments to think about your motivation. When you have a clearer understanding about why you give her assignments, you'll have a better idea of what will fulfill those motivations.

One word of caution... all of the above (and plenty more) are quite acceptable reasons for handing out assignments (or anything else). Don't think that everything has to have a noble objective... doing things because you enjoy them is reason enough. Having said that, I would STRONGLY encourage you NOT to engage in any activity simply because you see other people doing it, and think that it's expected of you. Don't allow other people's habits, preferences, conventions, etc. to become your Master.

John

< Message edited by Rover -- 6/30/2007 5:38:04 AM >

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Iwanttolearnhow)

Post #: 9

RE: Assignments - 6/30/2007 6:43:32 AM

beargonewild

Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

When I was collared, my former master had me blog online for him to read. He wanted to fully understand how my thought process worked and thereby get to understand me as a person and use that to train me to become a better slave for his needs.
Now that I am working with my own sub/boy and seeing he has many issues about his low self esteem and all his fears about his submission etc. I have asked him to start journalling himself. This is not to give him a task just to assert my dominance but for him to work through his poor self image and for me to better understand why he feels that was. So then when I step in and guide him along, I am better able to approach this with a better understanding of my boy and how his mind works.

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to Iwanttolearnhow)

Post #: 10

RE: Assignments - 6/30/2007 6:52:29 AM

SeeksOnlyOne

Posts: 2012
Joined: 5/14/2007
Status: offline

i never knew why i was given an assignment until i completed it-but they always enriched the relationship in some way.....things he saw and wanted to know for one reason or another......i wouldnt think anyone can tell you what that is for your own relationship.

he did adore when i wrote nasty stories that were posted on literotica.com though......

sighs....

_____________________________

it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

(in reply to Iwanttolearnhow)

Post #: 11

RE: Assignments - 6/30/2007 12:49:09 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

It depends. If you're doing this a BDSM fun in the bedroom, there's little more than porn related stuff to do (but ain't that hot! Whew!). But, if you're going outside the bedorom, there's any number of relationship and service based essays you can assign ranging from the joys of doing Master's laundry to writing, "I will not overstarch Master's shirts" 500 times.

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to Iwanttolearnhow)

Post #: 12

RE: Assignments - 6/30/2007 1:10:48 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Valyraen doesn't really give me assignments. He likes me to send him my fantasies, when I think of them, but it's not something I'm under orders to do. He's threatened to make me do book reports as punishments though!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 13

RE: Assignments - 6/30/2007 1:12:13 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

The "assignments" Hubby gives me are usually to research something either for His business or for a purchase we might make, so that He doesn't have to bother with it.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to Iwanttolearnhow)

Post #: 14

RE: Assignments - 6/30/2007 1:18:36 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHeart

My current submissive is tasked with only using his non dominant hand when he masturbates.
:))
LH

One of my failures is that I often speak before I've had a chance to think through the ramifications. I was once tasked with the same kind of situation, where my mistress told me I could not masturbate with my normal hand. So I asked her if it was okay if I masturbated with someone else's hand, and then proceeded to list off a name of women who might be attached to that hand.

Didn't go over as funny as it seemed when the thought formed in my head.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to LadyHeart)

Post #: 15

RE: Assignments - 6/30/2007 1:21:58 PM

Trampler

Posts: 580
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline

A friend of mine had her sub learn how to do manicures and pedicures. She also had him stay with her Mentor and her sub for a weekend so he could see other service aspects. And had him write the whole experience,(including interviews.) on his online journal.

_____________________________

I want to step ALL over you!

Our Community may be openminded as a whole, BUT it is made up of indivduals who bring in their own baggage,perceptions and agendas

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 16

RE: Assignments - 6/30/2007 1:23:12 PM

Trampler

Posts: 580
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline

**lol!** real smooth littlesarbonn. :)

_____________________________

I want to step ALL over you!

Our Community may be openminded as a whole, BUT it is made up of indivduals who bring in their own baggage,perceptions and agendas

(in reply to Trampler)

Post #: 17

RE: Assignments - 6/30/2007 1:29:20 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

I HATE written assighnments... In fact no one remind Master but I have an outstanding essay due....... did I mention I really really hate written assignments!!!!

Magik's naughty slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to Trampler)

Post #: 18

RE: Assignments - 6/30/2007 1:30:24 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHeart

My current submissive is tasked with only using his non dominant hand when he masturbates.
:))
LH

One of my failures is that I often speak before I've had a chance to think through the ramifications. I was once tasked with the same kind of situation, where my mistress told me I could not masturbate with my normal hand. So I asked her if it was okay if I masturbated with someone else's hand, and then proceeded to list off a name of women who might be attached to that hand.

Didn't go over as funny as it seemed when the thought formed in my head.

Seemed like a good idea at the time though didnt it!!!

yeah i have that same problem.

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 19

RE: Assignments - 6/30/2007 2:24:35 PM

megan2007

Posts: 19
Joined: 4/3/2007
Status: offline

hello A/all*smiles* i would like to respectfuly submit here, the advice of my Daddy, Who told me it was alright to quote Him here:

"I would have to say after reading all the posts on here that everyone has their own unque spin on the giving and accepting of writing prompts and essays. I know from my own experience with megan2007 that she needs the structure of writing assignments for many facits of her daily submissive walk. These are tools of not only teaching but tools for getting inside the subs head and learning more about them. I use various books, online resources, and contacts in the community to further her growth and give her a list of tasks, kind of like a college test composed of many essay questions, each with their own set of instructions and topic. Most of the time I tend to bridge topics from one question to the other so that she keeps gaining knowledge as well as has fun with her writing.

Essays can also be used as a form of punishment, I have found that giving a submissive/slave/sub switch, the task of writing about what actions they did wrong and then have them brainstorm ways to take corrective actions for that fault is a great self teaching and self corrective action.

If you would like more hints, topics, tricks of the trade feel free to contact me on CM @ MasterMike04103. Cheers, Mike"

(back to me, megan2007*l*) Daddy has shown me quite well indeed, that a LOT of insight and growth can be achieved, from the writing assignments that He's given me. i also realy enjoy doing them. admitedly, i enjoy some of them more then others, but i'm the type of person that, as long as the topic holds my interest, truly likes to learn. so, in closing...in my opinion, writing assignments are a very valid and helpful tool for Dominants to use, and for subs/bottoms to experience.

take care and blessed be.

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 20

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