quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: nyrisa

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I remember walking to a fetish event in London with Darcy last year.  He led me on a leash.  We walked through London at about 10 at night, past a bar with people watching. 

That is my point exactly. That would be an appropriate time and place, in a time and area where one would expect to be among adults. What I have a problem with, is at the shopping mall, a place and time where children can be expected to be about. There are some places that are adult oriented, and some places that are oriented towards the general public, most of whom do not want to see this.

This is going to sound harsh I know buuuuuut....
 
Other peoples children aren't my responsibility - if their parents want them to grow up sheltered and to be condecending of peoples personal choices, then thats their responsibility.  If my child is out and sees a woman dressed in a burkah, or two men holding hands and it bothers them or they see it as different, they know they can ask me about it.  And I tell them.  I can think of far more bothersome images my children can view walking around a mall, in magazines and on TV, than someone walking around in a collar and leash.  I am NOT going to let another persons morality infect my morality.  If they choose to let my morality infect theirs - again, their problem and how they deal with it hey.
 
Peace
the.dark.

My .02 on this whole "sheltering" thing - which by the way, has little to do with my opinion on wearing a leash on public. I still don't think it's the most courteous thing to do, but I don't think it's indecent either.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I never said to be courteous revolves around not injurying someone.  But I don't live my life for others.  I live for Darcy and I.  You could spend all day trying to please everyone and still offend someone.  I have no problem walking down the street with Darcy and the cuffs attached to his belt.  I don't have any qualms about taking photographs of a public setting and risking 'offending' someone just because they might invade my shot.  I am not offended by people wearing visable thong lines above their hipster jeans or wearing a corset - or a young couple kissing deeply on a table in a restaurant when I am out with my children.  None of these things are disturbing or morally disgusting.  It's just life and choices of individuals.  Where is the line between being courteous to me, and being courteous to them?
 
It isn't so black and white.
Peace
the.dark.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

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ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

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ORIGINAL: nyrisa

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ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I remember walking to a fetish event in London with Darcy last year.  He led me on a leash.  We walked through London at about 10 at night, past a bar with people watching. 

That is my point exactly. That would be an appropriate time and place, in a time and area where one would expect to be among adults. What I have a problem with, is at the shopping mall, a place and time where children can be expected to be about. There are some places that are adult oriented, and some places that are oriented towards the general public, most of whom do not want to see this.

This is going to sound harsh I know buuuuuut....
 
Other peoples children aren't my responsibility - if their parents want them to grow up sheltered and to be condecending of peoples personal choices, then thats their responsibility.  If my child is out and sees a woman dressed in a burkah, or two men holding hands and it bothers them or they see it as different, they know they can ask me about it.  And I tell them.  I can think of far more bothersome images my children can view walking around a mall, in magazines and on TV, than someone walking around in a collar and leash.  I am NOT going to let another persons morality infect my morality.  If they choose to let my morality infect theirs - again, their problem and how they deal with it hey.
 
Peace
the.dark.

 
No they aren't. Legally. However, I really don't get this arguement that if a parent doesn't want their kid to see a couple walking around on a leash when they are five, that is sheltering them. Hell for all you know the kid was sexually abused and the parent is trying to avoid them having a flashback.
 
Personally, I truely believe that everyone has a responsibility to teach children courtesy, integity, manners, and that it's not acceptable to run over people with cars. If someone doesn't believe that, that's fine with me - I just won't let my children be around them. But I don't think being condecending about a person's parenting style is any better then someone being condecending about a person wearing a leash in public.
 
My .02 on this whole "sheltering" thing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark



But then you could say that about clowns.  A friend of mine has a child who hates clowns and had a terrible fright at a birthday party - from that moment clowns became an obsession.  So anyone who wore face paint - that child would scream and vomit and just go hysterical - but should people not wear facepain or be a clown - just because someone, somewhere suffered once upon a time?  Another friends child I know had a terrible fright due to a loud noise in a church hall.  After that, the child could not tollerate loud noise and would burst into tears and shake.  So by your post, now no one can allow their car to backfire, or hold airshows, or drop anything in public just in case some child has suffered abuse or trauma?  I am sorry Aqua, but that is just an argument that doesn't work for me.

Peace
the.dark.

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

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ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I never said to be courteous revolves around not injurying someone.  But I don't live my life for others.  I live for Darcy and I.  You could spend all day trying to please everyone and still offend someone.  I have no problem walking down the street with Darcy and the cuffs attached to his belt.  I don't have any qualms about taking photographs of a public setting and risking 'offending' someone just because they might invade my shot.  I am not offended by people wearing visable thong lines above their hipster jeans or wearing a corset - or a young couple kissing deeply on a table in a restaurant when I am out with my children.  None of these things are disturbing or morally disgusting.  It's just life and choices of individuals.  Where is the line between being courteous to me, and being courteous to them?
 
It isn't so black and white.
Peace
the.dark.

 
Very little in life is black and white. The question, for me, is am I going to sink to another's level simply because they were discourteous to me?

I would not find wearing cuffs on my belt discourteous, nor handcuffs on my backpack. I would find going to the level of being leashed in the middle of the mall in the middle of the day discourteous.

Everyone is discourteous from time to time. It is simply a matter of what you are willing to be discourteous about. I am not willing, most times and most places, to be discourteous when it comes to BDSM.

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ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

But that just comes down to subjective thought Aqua.  I don't find a leash discoureous - you do.  I am sure you do something I find discourteous.  Some people find smoking in public discourteous.  Playing music.  Reading.  Eating.  Its all down to personal morality and likes and dislikes - and I am not going to run my life for someone elses morals and what they like.  Where is the line?
 
Peace
the.dark.

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ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I suppose it could be that I just don't think of my relationship as BDSM so I don't feel I need to protect it - it's a relationship where I submit and use the elements of BDSM within it.  But BDSM is no different from 'vanilla' relationships for me.  Life is just life.
 
Peace
the.dark.

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ORIGINAL: CherryLeopard

Certainly it could be fun for you to engage in a big public display, but I take the feelings of those around me in to consideration and would find it rather rude to walk a sub through a public mall on a full leash.  The vanilla folks in the mall haven't consented to seeing public D/s play so I try to respect that.  With that thought, a more subtle solution might be in order,  perhaps you could attach a short looped strap to a wrist cuff or bracelet-- more subtle but highly effective.  Or you could instruct the sub to follow exactly 2 steps behind you controlling their behavior that way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

People will always use things against you Aqua - that sounds pretty negative I know - but be that BDSM, or your job, or the fact you like RPGs.  If someone wants to take your children away from you, they will find a door.  The reason D/s or BDSM is seen as bizarre or 'out-there' as a concept is because even we, who are 'in it' - seperate it from what is seen as 'normality'.  My point is, to me, it IS what is normal.  Making is 'non threatening' only makes it seem more different from my opinion.
 
Peace
the.dark.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I guess I just don't see BDSM as a minority thing.  Even those that are seen as 'vanilla' are in BDSM relationships of some type or another.  I don;t see BDSM as a relationship or a lifestyle or anything more special or more communicative or more anything - or less anything.  Children are removed from loving parents because people want to destroy anything that they can't relate to and your description of yourself in no way will alter their perceptions anyway.  You will do something to piss someone off or offend them.  You can't stop that unless you bow and scrape to everyone elses whims and even then that is impossible in a large setting with more than a handful of people.