Rough terrain

Rough terrain (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

ready4srvce4all -> Rough terrain (6/30/2007 6:42:11 PM)
It has now been a month since I have relocated to Mistress. She is truly everything I have dreamed of, She is indeed perfect for me, and I strive to be the same for Her. Our first month has been a real test, and we have negotiated this rough terrain rather well. There is the relocation, the adjustment of a new member in the household, the first time living with UM's (I never had UM's) and finding that harmony with all of us. Add to that a death in the family, and now another hospitalization. All this in the first month. Thankfully, our love and communication have kept us going strong. We have shared some of what has happened with others close to us, so we don't feel alone, including some people here on the boards. It has helped tremendously. We are so much stronger in our relationship, because there probably isn't a tougher time to deal with all of this then in the start. It has forged our relationship even stronger. I only wanted to share some of our bad fortune and how we are coping, and thought others have had rough terrain also, and might share how they handled their situations. How have you dealt with bad stretches in the relationship, where it seems you can't get a break? Issues like death, illness, loss of job, sudden need of major home repairs, etc.?

Rayne58 -> RE: Rough terrain (6/30/2007 8:44:28 PM)
Our second year together was pretty rough for Master healthwise. He has renal failure and was on peritoneal dialysis at home. He got peritonitis and was in hospital for 10 days. We continued the antibiotic treatment at home for a further 2 weeks, and all seemed well. Then the catheter in his tummy came out and had to be replaced. He was on haemodialysis for a while until it all healed. However He kept getting peritonitis - ended up being 6 times in 10 months. It was very exhausting for us both as we had to do the fluid exchanges every 4-6 hours (during the night as well). He would just get better and it would happen again....in the end it was decided the catheter had to go and He would be on permanent haemodialysis. Several surgeries later we are now in training to be able to do the home haemodialysis. This is also exhausting with very early mornings and we both have the flu right now which is making it even harder. However in a couple more months we should be all set up - He can dialyse every 2nd day which hopefully will give Him more energy for ahem other things [;)][:D]

imthatacheyouhav -> RE: Rough terrain (6/30/2007 9:32:19 PM)
I am an emotional scaredy cat...and i know its been driving my Master crazy, but He has the patience of Job. I believe its my Masters patience that is getting us through at the moment...and the fact that we do indeed love each other to death.

nearnyccouple -> RE: Rough terrain (6/30/2007 9:36:21 PM)
what has worked for us is discussing everything through, keeping the lines of communication open, even when the issue has seemed insurmountable, and knowing that no matter the oucome, we have faced the issues together, and survived. like you and your Mistress adversity has brought us closer, and strengthened our relationship. cassie

nyrisa -> RE: Rough terrain (7/1/2007 2:56:10 AM)
Within the past two months, I have been hospitalized twice for sudden emergencies, then had surgery, and lost my job. Our income has now been cut in half, until we get things sorted out. We have a bit of perspective, though, because we've faced worse things over the years, and developed coping strategies that we still use. We connect more physically now, using frequent touches as we walk past each other, stopping and holding each other for a moment without saying a word, just because we need the boost that brings. We work to find the positive side to everything (and yes, there is usually something good that can be found in most things, that can help to ease the sting). We keep watch for each other, and if it sounds like the other is starting to become negative in speech or behavior, we address that immediately. Once a downward spiral of thinking/behaving is started, it is difficult to stop, and is the prime reason depression is so hard to kick. We make plans for the future, and realize that even though the present is tough, we will get through it, and have good times ahead. Best of luck to you and your family. I hope the transition gets easier. smiles

justinasamerk -> RE: Rough terrain (7/1/2007 6:37:40 AM)
dear ready, congratulations on getting through your first month with so many problems, bumps and rough patches. You asked how has one dealth with bad stretches,...my advice is that there is a sense that this lifestyle is "life" there are fantasies, there are roles, there are games, and there are times we have those cookie cutter dreams of what it is to be a slave, but most of all that this is our life, this is the road we choose. Yeah there will be bumps, accidents, a pot hole here and there, but with proper maintence, filling up the tank, and routine check ups your relationship will last no matter what the road. So how do you do that... Communication, openess, talking, those moments where you sit down really getting down to the root of things and opening up saying "This is how "I" feel" not throwing to the other person with an attitude of "because of this "YOU" made me feel this way" its taking responsibility for own actions, behaviors and thoughts and saying "I feel this, please lets discuss what i can do about this, or how together you can help me cope." With this philosophy it has saved many arguments, troubled spots, throughout my relationship with my Master. Good luck ready, and enjoy the ride.... Sincerely, justina, the little sweet potato celebrating 7 years as his.

Domspaintoy -> RE: Rough terrain (7/1/2007 7:20:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ready4srvce4all the first time living with UM's (I never had UM's) Whats an UM??

ready4srvce4all -> RE: Rough terrain (7/1/2007 7:29:43 AM)
A "UM" is an "unmentionable"...the little people not of the age of consent. I thank all of you who have taken the time to share some of your most difficult times, and how you handled them. I hope others will do so as well, because often when bad times hit and we think we are "all alone", and more than likely someone has already been there that can help.

cuddleheart50 -> RE: Rough terrain (7/1/2007 7:34:18 AM)
I'm sorry for all you are going through, but things will get better.

ready4srvce4all -> RE: Rough terrain (7/1/2007 8:18:30 AM)
Thank you cuddleheart, we have managed quite well, and I wanted to share how we coped, and also asking how others have coped with very difficult times. We are a resource to each other in life if we allow it. It's amazing when put in perspective, how sometimes sharing our difficulties, mine don't seem so bad compared to others, as those who have shared have gone through some very difficult times indeed.

agirl -> RE: Rough terrain (7/1/2007 8:30:20 AM)
The last two weeks have been a rollercoaster of fear, relief, fear, more relief, more fear and an incredible amount of anguish, hospital bedside vigils and many tears with a seriously ill sprogling. The best thing throughout, is M staying the very same M. While everything around me is uncertain and likely to continue that way.....he's provided a sanctuary of normality, practical help and guidance, made me laugh and helped/forced me take time for myself to re-charge for the next bout of what next?. .........knowing just the right moments to let me fold and weep and the times to bark stop snivelling. He's always been brilliant, always been amazing, but at times like this I rediscover just how. agirl

ready4srvce4all -> RE: Rough terrain (7/1/2007 10:06:11 AM)
My prayers are with you. I can't even imagine what you must be going through. I hope that M continues to help you through this most difficult time.

slaveish -> RE: Rough terrain (7/1/2007 10:16:10 AM)
My sister is hitting a rough spot in the road with regard to her wants. One moment, she wants a poly family; at another moment, she wants nothing to do with it. I'm just hanging loose, taking nothing personally, supporting her in her ups and downs, and letting her know that my feelings for her are not contingent on sharing the poly experience. She has been Master's slave for thirty years, has never been on her own or had her own life; and there are times she feels intruded upon, as though she and her service are not "enough" for Master. My heart goes out to her, even though it can be emotionally difficult for me at times too. I know the answer will reveal itself over time, and the answer might be to let the situation ebb. I'm ok with that. I cannot strong-arm her into accepting me in The House. I know she loves and cares about me, I love and care about her, we both love and care about Master, and that is all that matters regardless of how the situation may change. For me, it is all about acceptance.

RaynaSub -> RE: Rough terrain (7/1/2007 10:40:36 AM)
My Master and I have been threw a lot of rough terrain. To me, it is part of life. Everyone I know goes has ups and downs in their lives. My Master and I are devoted to each other, we also understand and support each other. Without real support when the going gets rough, you don't really have much of a relationship.

Domspaintoy -> RE: Rough terrain (7/1/2007 11:09:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ready4srvce4all A "UM" is an "unmentionable"...the little people not of the age of consent. Oh right, thanks for clarifying it for me. dpt. [:D]

littleone35 -> RE: Rough terrain (7/1/2007 12:13:09 PM)
We hit a slighty roug patch early this year. I had to go in for surgery Master vistied me the day after my surgery. Then i had to go into ICU for 3 days Master could not visit cause he was not family. I wanted to call him but i did not have a phone in the room so he was really worried. As soon as i got into a regular room i had a phone and i called him and he came to see me later that day. And when i got out of the hospitalwe could not do anything for 4 weeks. He came to see me every day. It was a rough patch but just him being with me is all we needed. Matt's littleone

agirl -> RE: Rough terrain (7/1/2007 2:23:42 PM)
Thanks for your kind thoughts, ready4srvce4all. I hope things go a little smoother for you all too. Regards, agirl

Lockit -> RE: Rough terrain (7/1/2007 3:23:59 PM)
Hello Ready and Everyone, I think that you and your Mistress are very wonderfully matched and one can see the devotion between you. You have every chance to make things wonderful as you both seem to be very wonderful people on your own and together... a couple I think many of us love to admire. I know I do! lol You both openly share so very much and others are able to gain sight into how you each are and also into ourselves as we watch and learn and benefit from your sharing. I am very thankful that I am able to read about your lives and learn from you both! To the others that are having difficulty... it really sucks doesn't it? But you know... you have someone walking it with you and believe me... that is a bonus you wouldn't want to live without! I am so glad you are able to get through your times and I hope that those that are still being worked out... you will be able to get through it all with very little pain and come out the other side smiling! I think that in my life... love and communication get my loved ones and I through. That love is a healer and the communication the way to and in and through the love. May you all be blessed with all you need in your times of trial! Lockit

ownedgirlie -> RE: Rough terrain (7/1/2007 3:24:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl The last two weeks have been a rollercoaster of fear, relief, fear, more relief, more fear and an incredible amount of anguish, hospital bedside vigils and many tears with a seriously ill sprogling. The best thing throughout, is M staying the very same M. While everything around me is uncertain and likely to continue that way.....he's provided a sanctuary of normality, practical help and guidance, made me laugh and helped/forced me take time for myself to re-charge for the next bout of what next?. .........knowing just the right moments to let me fold and weep and the times to bark stop snivelling. He's always been brilliant, always been amazing, but at times like this I rediscover just how. agirl I am so sorry for your terrible time, agirl, and grateful your M is exactly as mine has been during my hellish year. You are in my thoughts. To the OP, I do hope things calm for you as well, and hope your Mistress helps provide a stabilizing force for you.

ready4srvce4all -> RE: Rough terrain (7/1/2007 4:52:00 PM)
Damn damn damn....edited because this is Donna, not Robert and I forgot to sign him out before I added here....so anyway....the stuff below is all Donna... Hi everyone...it's me back from the hospital and alive. Not feeling so hot but that's life. I want to thank everyone for your comments and well wishes about our "rough terrain" and for those of you who can see how well suited Robert and I are, I thank you. I believe us to be as well suited as any two can be and am so very thrilled to have him in my life. Friday during the night (what would have been our play time together) I became very ill and while Robert suggests this past weekend as part of our rough times he was wonderful and made everything seem to go as smoothly as possible for the situation at hand. Whatever made me ill caused me GREAT pain and Robert was right there with me, calm, giving me viable options and making sure I was well taken care of. He ensured my husband was notified, my UM's had someone to care for them and he and my husband met my ambulance at the hospital. He then tagged teamed all weekend forgoing sleep to ensure the house and UM's were care for along with my amazing husband. As I said, I am home today with no real reason for my illness but that's neither here nor there...the fact is Robert pulled together when something went wrong and was exactly the slave and the man I expected of him. Thanks again, everyone.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125