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needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 2:24:57 PM   
lilsubl


Posts: 4595
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline 		hi all...i'm at my wit's end--some would say i had not far to go--and am hoping for some new ideas...as some of you know, i'm caring for my former mother in law, a lovely woman who is 84 years old & has COPD...all day, she sits in her chair & plays a handheld poker game while watching tv shows she says are terrible...every day she tells me that she wishes she could find something to do that she would be able to do & that would interest her...her current physical limitations include:

  • only able to walk a few feet before becoming short of breath
  • her oxygen tube will only allow her to move about the first floor of the house & out to the back patio
  • she has osteoporitis & arthritis & is very weak in her hands
  • she also has early macular degeneration in one eye which makes it hard for her to see well
the things that she enjoyed doing when she was less limited include:

  • sewing & other forms of needlework
  • crossword puzzles
  • reading books
  • cooking & entertaining
any suggestions are welcome, even if you think they're too outlandish, because something may suggest itself to me...she's becoming depressed & feeling quite useless & i want to help her to feel better about herself & this last part of her life.....

thank you all in advance


_____________________________

Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife


it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

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RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 2:42:21 PM   
lighthearted


Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		have you tried the local senior center?  they may have some ideas for you, as they are accustomed to the limitations of the senior group.  the other thing that came to me was container gardening, planting seed in smaller pots and tending to them would hopefully not be too taxing for her.  or even terrariums.

if pets are an option, a kitty cat or maybe canaries?  I remember my grandmother having canaries nearly until the end of her life.

if I think of anything else I'll post again...

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"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 2:43:45 PM   
lighthearted


Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline 		one more idea:  books on tape/cd.

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"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 2:44:29 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Audio books
rent some good movies she likes.
If she likes flowers, bring in some potting soil, a pot and flower...let her replant flowers. ( I don't know how she is, but having plants and flowers around me, makes me feel better)
crotchet
paint ceramics( doesnt matter how good it looks as long as she keeps her mind busy)



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Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


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RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 2:51:28 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline 		lilsubl...wow you're pretty amazing to take that on.

Is there some comfortable furniture on the patio where she can sit comfortably and be able to enjoy the outdoors? It does sound like she's depressed and maybe just the small act of being somewhere different will help to lift that.

There are needlework kits that are available in large print and larger sized needles etc. for those that are getting older . Very good for hand eye coordination and dimming vision. I know my local Michael's carries them and I pick them up to take to the local retirement community when I visit with the whippet for dog therapy. Most libraries carry a section of large print books as well. Or try books on tape for her to listen to.

Another thing to consider. One of the local ladies at the retirement community I volunteer at was in a very similar situation and also suffering from COPD. Chloe (my whippet) spent a great deal of time in Vera's room with me talking because she seemed so forlorn and lonely. Just walking across her apartment would leave her gasping. She had pretty much given up but loved to tell stories and talk about the wonderful life she had experienced before all this came about.

On a whim her daughter arranged for her to obtain one of those little motorized scooters. I think they paid very little between insurance and other income factors. The change in Vera is truly unbelievable. I rarely see her anymore and just ran into her this morning as she was tootling off to "run an errand or two for some of the less mobile curmudgeons". She also is hiring out as a dog walker for the other residents.

It's just amazing to see the woman she is today compared to the woman I've known for over 2 years. Her daughter had to buy her a cell phone to keep track of her now. It helps to make sure that Vera's actually there when she drives down to visit. It might be worth looking into and perhaps a little regaining of her independence may help change her mood.

Best of luck and be sure to take care of yourself as well while you care for her.

< Message edited by SDFemDom4cuck -- 7/2/2007 2:54:27 PM >

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Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

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RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 2:52:14 PM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		maybe some relaxation music, lots of plants around her- for some reason they tend to keep our spirits up...maybe a cat that she can hold- cuddle.

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RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 3:05:54 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Any artistic interest...if so you can set her up with some watercolors and an easel outdoors.  Or a digital camera.

edited to add..oops.  just realied that wouldn't work with the arthritis and eye issues.   How about learning a new language on tape.

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 7/2/2007 3:07:11 PM >

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RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 3:08:08 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Give her a tape recorder and have her record her life memories and family history for future generations.

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RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 3:18:21 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		This is what I do... although I don't have the same limitations, I have them.  All the old things I did are out.  I got a computer and online service and I sit in a recliner.  (Much to the dismay I am sure of many! lol)  I bought lots of movies and music.  I watch tv programs on design and I design for friends and now myself in my remodel hell.  I cannot read a book so much anymore... so I read online... where I can enlarge the font or recline and read from a distance without the headache starting glasses.  I surround myself with things that get me motivated to do more than sit there and when working with someone else... I would find what they liked and were good at in life and try to bring those things into the field of limitation and find a way to do them.  My grandmother needed to create a cook book with her limits... mom wrote... I do that too.  For others it is a drive to the mountains or something that gets them moving in a direction.  Getting them out is major... even with my adult son's brain damage. With grandma who was an amazing teacher... we brought in children... for my son it was a puppy.  It is amazing what my son can now do because of a lil puppy!  It has helped him think things out even if he forgets them moments later... he takes the dog out and plays like a three year old with her... which is a drag for me and puppy sometimes... but we are working it out! lol

Maybe some visits from others around her age will help.  That kept a lot of my friends at a residence for the elderly and disabled going!  And yes... I lived there with them for a year and saw how it changed lives.  Kept most from ending it all.

Even when it seems they haven't given up... in a sense somewhere deep... many find that they can't do what they did and are so limited that they can't think of anything and don't bother.  It is often up to the caregivers to see what might interest them and I think the Op is doing an amazing job of trying to do that!  Good luck to you in this!  It is a challenge... but sometimes something will click and bring about some major change that amounts to less limitations.

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RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 3:49:51 PM   
lilsubl


Posts: 4595
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline 		wow!!  you guys are amazing with your suggestions   i can't tell you how much this is helping me to come up with ideas to help her...i brought my little dog with me & she will sit & talk to him;  one day she sat there & told him how to be a good friend...he stared at her & acted like he was taking it all in...sometimes he talks back  lol  i love the idea of taping her stories...if she won't agree to this, i will listen very carefully & then type them into a Mom file on the computer...this also gives me an idea about getting some pictures together...there are a lot of family pictures in the stairwell going upstairs, but she can't go up there anymore...because she used to like to cook, i ask her now how she would prepare the things that i now cook for her...she wants to entertain family for the 4th & i'm going to go get the stuff & get her to help me to prepare it...
& yes, thank you SD, i am learning how to take care of myself through this...at first i thought i had to do everything & get it done yesterday...now, i'm a lot less demanding of myself...the main thing is to make sure that this part of her life is as comfy as we all can make it.....


_____________________________

Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife


it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

wannabe member of the subbi mafia

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 3:59:53 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		lilsubl, you sound like an amazing person!  Your devotion to her and your desire to make her life better is heart warming.  If only we all could be so lucky to have someone such as yourself caring for us! Wow!  I was needing help at times in my illness and struggled to get any at all.  Then my son... omg... the hospital and government battles are overwhelming!  Could I care for him?  I had no choice I could live with other than caring for him.  So I started... bam... ouch... but doing so well. lol ... Then... omg... I cannot do this!  Not like I should!  And that is when you find your balance.  You take care of you and try to get time out if you can... some cannot... but you relax.  You learn to balance it or it kills you.

You have some great ideas there!  Even just having one of those photo containers with the flipping pages or something would spur memories and stories and laughter.  Sometimes just picking up the mind and getting it going spurs other things on.

Oh and I have known many who turned a computer on for the first time in their 90's.  And I can honestly say were some of the funniest and real people on the net!  Lots at the residence got computers.

May you be very blessed and find a comfy spot for both of you!

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RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 4:53:00 PM   
lighthearted


Posts: 1165
Joined: 11/26/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilsubl

i brought my little dog with me & she will sit & talk to him;  one day she sat there & told him how to be a good friend...he stared at her & acted like he was taking it all in...sometimes he talks back 



that is awesome, it put such a smile on my face.  thanks for sharing.

_____________________________

"Thou art to me a delicious torment." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 6:31:10 PM   
ta2dqt


Posts: 375
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Crochet? (sp) Finger paints, play dough (both are also non-toxic and can wash out easily)......................Big bright picture book, (just the colors can be stimulating enough if she cant see that well)...............music............... a musical keyboard?...................

.................. a few years back....................I worked at a nursing home for almost 7 years...............................I Understand what you may be feeling.............  

a cat or animal to pet/feel........................a nice stuffed animal........................

Play "bingo" once in a while at home........................

wooden block puzzles...................

_____________________________

"Ask not that your Dom can do for you, but what you can do for your Dom."

"People are like fine wine, they get better with age!"

"Everything happens for a reason."



myspace.com/theoneandonlyta2dqt

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RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 6:31:51 PM   
lilsubl


Posts: 4595
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline 		he really likes her & goes in to wake her up every morning, although she says that she wishes he wouldn't wake her up  lol  some evenings we get in bed with her & watch tv...one night, she decided he was thirsty & decided to use her straw to give him water...she kept getting it on the comforter which he would then lick...we were both laughing...she's a really fun, wonderful woman...
i'm going home on the 4th to have 4 days off & i'm going to get one of those little digital recorders & get her talking & transcribe the stories for her family to read...
unfortunately, she's allergic to cats, so we'll just stick with Spike the Amazing Wonder Dog.....


_____________________________

Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife


it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

wannabe member of the subbi mafia

(in reply to lighthearted)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 6:32:05 PM   
boundkitty


Posts: 62
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline 		A small suggestion: They make theraputic elastic gloves for people with hand/wrist pain to help them be able to enjoy some of the things they used to do with their hands, and I have also seen a crochet hook designed for people with arthritis. Wish I could remember which catalog it was in now.

boundkitty

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RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 6:33:12 PM   
lilsubl


Posts: 4595
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline 		ooooh, oooooh....she expressed an interest in playing that national bingo game....that'll entertain us both!!!

_____________________________

Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife


it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

wannabe member of the subbi mafia

(in reply to ta2dqt)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 6:37:16 PM   
ta2dqt


Posts: 375
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		national bingo?

_____________________________

"Ask not that your Dom can do for you, but what you can do for your Dom."

"People are like fine wine, they get better with age!"

"Everything happens for a reason."



myspace.com/theoneandonlyta2dqt

(in reply to lilsubl)
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RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 7:03:59 PM   
lilsubl


Posts: 4595
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline 		yeah, it's some sort of tv show on Fri nights, i think...i don't really watch tv, so i'm not sure....

_____________________________

Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife


it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

wannabe member of the subbi mafia

(in reply to ta2dqt)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 7:33:20 PM   
ta2dqt


Posts: 375
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lilsubl

yeah, it's some sort of tv show on Fri nights, i think...i don't really watch tv, so i'm not sure....


Very Cool! I"m glad if you Both can have fun together enjoying the same things!!!
U will HAVE to let us know how it goes!!!

Best of luck in Everything!!!  :)  

_____________________________

"Ask not that your Dom can do for you, but what you can do for your Dom."

"People are like fine wine, they get better with age!"

"Everything happens for a reason."



myspace.com/theoneandonlyta2dqt

(in reply to lilsubl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: needing some new ideas - 7/2/2007 7:47:56 PM   
lilsubl


Posts: 4595
Joined: 2/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: boundkitty

A small suggestion: They make theraputic elastic gloves for people with hand/wrist pain to help them be able to enjoy some of the things they used to do with their hands, and I have also seen a crochet hook designed for people with arthritis. Wish I could remember which catalog it was in now.

boundkitty


thank you for that suggestion, i will definitely look into it while i'm home this week....


_____________________________

Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife


it's no fun unless you're scared

if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

wannabe member of the subbi mafia

(in reply to boundkitty)
Profile   Post #: 20
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